


Background Music

by JopperNation



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Domestic Violence, Extended Scene, F/M, Fluff, Missing Scene, Panic Attacks, Romance, Substance Abuse, Swearing, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 49,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JopperNation/pseuds/JopperNation
Summary: Just a series of non-linear Jopper one-shots across their lives. Some missing and extended scenes. Inspired by different songs. Please listen before reading! My first Jopper fic so please be forgiving!
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Joyce Byers/Lonnie Byers, Karen Wheeler/Ted Wheeler
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	Background Music

CHAPTER 1

Summary: Hopper and Joyce talk for the first time after his return to Hawkins following Sara’s death. He reminds her of her strength.

Song Inspiration: True Colours – Cyndi Lauper

Joyce mumbled to herself as she tried to recall what she had come to the grocery store for. She mentally checked off the items in her head – cereal, eggs, bologna, Jell-O… _Oh!_ She remembered. Jonathan had asked her to get him hotdogs for dinner tonight. As she made her way to the back of the store, she turned into the main aisle too quickly and nearly collided with a shopping cart.

“Oh sorry!” she practically yelled.

The man gave her a look as if he thought she had almost slammed stomach first into his cart purposely. He didn’t even acknowledge her with words and continued past her. She rolled her eyes as she recognized him as the owner of the dry-cleaning store across Melvald’s.

“Asshole,” she mumbled and continued walking.

As she passed an aisle on her way to the deli section, she saw someone else she recognized out of the corner of her eye. It was Hopper. He was staring at the shelf in front of him and swaying gently on the spot. She wondered briefly if he was drunk but saw that he was in his police uniform, so he probably wasn’t. Or was he? She shrugged, not wanting to find out and walked a little faster wanting to avoid him.

It’s not like they never talked since he got back from New York. He came into Melvald’s occasionally to buy smokes. She would give him her fake customer service smile and he would say a total of 3 words: “Hi” (after Joyce said “Hi” first), “Fine” (after Joyce asked how he was), and “Thanks” (after Joyce handed him his change and smokes). Then he would leave with the same intense and scattered energy he brought in with him as she snuck a glance after him.

She had heard rumours of course, and she was sure he heard some about her too. He got around, he was a drunk, he barely did his job. These rumours didn’t put her off, if anything it made her worried about him. He was clearly hurting, and she wished she could just talk to him. But from the way he ignored her when he first got back, she knew he didn’t want her company. Their complicated past didn’t make it easier. Besides what would she say to him anyways? She hadn’t spoken to him in nearly a decade, not properly.

She snapped herself out of the memory and grabbed a package of hotdogs from the refrigerated shelf. She needed to get out of here before he saw her, she decided. _Why Joyce? It’s not like you two are going to talk. Like really talk_ , she thought. Maybe part of her just didn’t want to find out if those rumours were true and if he really was drunk on the job.

She sighed.

She knew it was actually because she was embarrassed since last week Hopper pulled Lonnie over for a DUI and booked him for it. Joyce had to come and bail him out the next day and Hopper had been there. He didn’t approach her but instead retreated to his office, keeping his door open. She knew he was watching as she signed the forms and handed Flo the cash she got by pawning her earrings. The best part had been how she couldn’t afford a sitter because of the bail money and Jonathan was working, so she had to bring Will with her. That was nice. Every child should witness his father hungover in a town jail cell with vomit on his shirt.

Joyce moved into a checkout lane and began digging for her wallet. She glanced behind her nervously for Hopper. She didn’t see him and instead focused on putting her items on the conveyer belt. When the cashier announced her total and she handed over her credit card, she bit her nail nervously willing the transaction to go through. She just came from paying the mechanic and knew that she was pushing it.

“I’m sorry your card is declined,” the teenaged cashier informed her in a bored tone.

She closed her eyes in defeat. “Could you please try again?”

The boy sighed and she could see he was barely supressing an eye roll. He did as she asked only to be met with a loud creaking sound from the register.

“Sorry,” he simply said and handed her card back to her.

“Can you…can you hold these items for me?” Maybe she could go to an ATM and try to withdraw some money.

“I’m sorry ma’am we don’t hold items. Maybe you can come back when you have money.”

He didn’t say it rudely, but he didn’t say it nicely either. He said it in that indifferent tone she had heard from so many others before. She fought back the urge to cry and bit her lip. As she was putting her card back in her wallet, she heard a snigger from someone behind her in line.

“Sorry,” she mumbled and practically ran out of the store.

The heat in August didn’t help her and she began to feel like she couldn’t breathe. What was she going to do? She could do without food, but she had to feed her boys. She could ask Jonathan. But she didn’t want to, she already hated herself for relying on him too much and she knew how hard he worked for the money. Maybe she could ask Donald for an advance. Yes, that’s what she would do. That was the only thing she could do. She didn’t have anymore jewellery to pawn.

As she unlocked her car, she heard someone shout her name. She turned around, eyes wide with a bewildered expression, to find herself face to face with Hopper.

“Hopper?”

He nodded curtly in greeting and took off his sunglasses. She noticed that his eyes were bloodshot, but she didn’t ask why. She simply stared, waiting for him to explain why he had approached her. 

“I uh saw what happened back there,” he explained.

Joyce could feel her anger bubbling to the surface. “So what? You came to have a laugh at me?”

Now it was his turn to be shocked. “What? No…Joyce I wouldn’t. Fuck those people.”

“Then what Hop? What do you want?” she immediately regretted using his nickname and looked down. Nicknames were for friends, which they were not anymore.

But this seemed to ground him, and he remembered why he had come to her. “I wanted to know if you were…okay. If you need help? I could help…financially.”

Hopper felt a familiar sense of mild alarm and dread as he watched Joyce narrow her eyes at him. He knew then that he had put it wrongly. He struggled to correct himself. “Look, shit, I just mean you know…I could give you a loan so you can get the groceries…and you can pay me back when you get paid.” As he stopped talking, he felt the wind rush out of his ears. He felt like he had just dug himself a deeper hole.

Joyce glared at him and shook her head. “No thanks.” And with that she turned back to her car.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Hopper thought.

Hopper put a large hand on the door to prevent her from opening it. “Look Joyce I’m just trying to help.”

Joyce scoffed. “Why? It’s not like we’re friends,” she challenged. “Besides you helped enough with Lonnie’s bail.”

Hopper could feel his anger rise like someone had pushed a red button in him at the mere mention of Lonnie Byers. “What the hell does that mean? You really blame me for putting your _drunk_ husband behind bars for a DUI? Would you rather I let him run someone off the road?”

At that Joyce closed her eyes and leaned back against her car. She wrapped her arms around herself protectively and counted to five in her head to calm herself, a suggestion she followed from a therapist she went to see once in Indianapolis.

“No,” she said quietly. “I don’t blame you.”

Hopper nodded forgiving her. She still had her eyes closed so he took the opportunity to really look at her. She was still beautiful to him, but she was thinner than she was in high school, if that was possible.

Her hair was still wild but not as thick and she now had bangs that covered up her eyes. He wouldn’t admit to her, but he missed those eyes, even when he saw unhappiness behind them.

Even in his stupor he still remembered Joyce and their carefree high school days. He remembered her laughing with him under the steps and he suddenly wished he could see her smile. Better yet, smile at him.

She opened her eyes to see him staring at her and she felt her cheeks grow warm. She looked away as he cleared his throat.

“Look uh is there anything I can do? I can talk to Lonnie,” he offered.

She laughed bitterly at that. “Good luck with that. You’d be better off talking to one of his cronies who owe him money. Even those guys are better on their word than him.”

Suddenly wanting to leave and go talk to Donald she waved her hand dismissively. “It’s fine Hop,” she said softly, using his nickname to let him know she wasn’t mad, just tired. “I’ll figure it out.”

“I know you will Joyce,” a ghost of a smile on his lips. “You’re strong.”

Joyce bristled at how surely he said it. Like there wasn’t a doubt in his mind and this was obvious. Was she? She sure didn’t feel like it and no one had told her that in a long time.

“I know it,” he added as if seeing the doubt in her mind.

And he meant it. He heard rumours about her, people calling her unstable and antisocial. But those were people who hadn’t known who she really was.

Those people judged her based on her marriage and her appearance. They hadn’t grown up with her and laughed with her and held her. She could be so complicated but not at the same time, an enigma.

All she could do was nod and mumble thanks awkwardly and turn back to her car. He didn’t immediately move, and she wasn’t sure what to say. He suddenly pulled out a pen and pad and she panicked thinking he was going to write her a ticket. _For what Joyce, being pathetic?_

He handed her the paper he ripped from the pad. It was his phone number.

She raised an eyebrow in question.

He shrugged. “In case you wanna talk,” he mumbled.

He rarely gave out his number and he took measures to hide it from his one nighters so they wouldn’t call asking for a second date. But he wanted to give it to Joyce, and this surprised him.

He didn’t know what would come of it, they certainly couldn’t be friends. Well, not like they used to be. Too much had happened. But maybe they could be…he didn’t know. A different version of them?

“Thanks Hop,” she said, too surprised to say more and stuffed the paper into her bag. 

“Yeah,” he said in reply. He turned to go then turned back again. “Joyce?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let the darkness take you too.” With that Hopper pushed his cart away as Joyce’s lips parted in surprise and she stared after him.

She ended up going to Donald to ask for an advance, which he gave her. She then went to another grocery store further from home.

She didn’t notice when the paper Hopper gave her flew out of her bag as she was loading the groceries into her car. Later when she went to look for it, she realized she must have lost it and shook her head at fate.

When Lonnie got home the next morning, he shoved a large wad of cash at Joyce. She was so surprised, she dropped her keys.

“What’s this?” Joyce asked suspiciously.

“For the bail money. Tony paid me back,” Lonnie said, referring to one of his cronies. Before she could ask him more, he went to their bedroom and flopped into bed, falling asleep without closing the door.

Joyce took the money and stopped by the bank on her way to work to deposit it. On her way out she saw Tony, the crony Lonnie mentioned. Upon a closer look, she saw he had a black eye and she wondered who had given it to him. 

CHAPTER 2

Summary: El spots a tattoo on Hopper and he tells her about how he got it. Flashback to teenage Hopper and Joyce.

Song Inspiration: The One That Got Away (Acoustic) – Katy Perry

“Shit,” Hopper swore softly as he rifled through his drawers. He had forgotten to do the laundry when he came home last night and was desperately in need of one of the plain white shirts he wore under his uniform.

Conceding that he wasn’t going to find a clean one, he settled for a white tank top instead. He glanced at the clock and was relieved to see he still had time to make El breakfast and eat with her.

As he was making their breakfast, Hopper glanced at El at the little dining room table and saw that was staring at him.

“You okay kid?” he asked, slightly nervous. Her stares were so intense they made him uneasy sometimes. He half considered waving his hand in front of her to snap her out of it but decided against it.

Instead he pushed her plate towards her, hoping she would refocus her energy on eating. It worked and she picked up her fork but then dropped it suddenly.

El looked up at him. “Who is lee-vee?”

Hopper’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Er, what?”

El shook her head as if her question was obvious. She raised her hand and pointed her finger at his left shoulder. “Lee-vee.”

Hopper followed her gaze. “Oh,” he said realizing she was referring to the tattoo on his shoulder. He squirmed in his seat not wanting to get into it right now. “It’s L-V-I not “lee-vee”. It’s a roman numeral for 56.”

El’s eyes widened considerably at this new information. She was silent for a moment than asked a follow-up question. “56? Like 11?” she then pointed to the tattoo on her own arm.

Hopper shook his head. “No kid. Not like yours. This one I got because I wanted to, and not in a lab either.”

If El was confused before, she was definitely more so now. “I don’t understand,” she said simply. She really didn’t. She didn’t associate tattoos with something pleasant so why would anyone want one? For her, tattoos were a way for Papa to take away old identities and enforce new ones on children.

“Well,” Hopper began. “When people are older, _much older_ , they can get tattoos if they want. You know, for fun. They usually get something that means something to them, but not always.”

El cocked her head to the side, processing what Hopper just said. She seemed to accept this and went back to eating her breakfast. Hopper let out a breath, relieved that she was dropping it.

“What does 56 mean?” she asked less than a minute later.

Hopper ran a hand through his beard, a sign that he was getting uncomfortable with sharing personal details. Even if it was just El.

“Um, something stupid,” he said, trying to avoid answering. “Not my idea.”

He realized too late that he had given her another opening to ask a follow-up question.

“Whose idea was it?” she asked.

“What?”

“Whose idea was it?” she repeated, enunciating the words and saying them louder, as if he really hadn’t heard what she asked.

“Jeez kid,” he mumbled. He considered ignoring her, but she looked at him with such an eager and earnest expression he couldn’t do it.

He sighed, knowing where this was headed. “Joyce’s,” he said.

He chuckled lightly when El’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “Joyce,” she repeated. She immediately grabbed Hopper’s hand and looked at him with the same expression she used when she convinced him to let her eat Eggo-extravaganzas at midnight.

“Please tell me,” she asked.

He met her look with one of his own. “If I do, this stays between us kid. No telling anyone I told you this.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. Who would she tell? She wasn’t allowed to go outside the cabin. “Okay,” she promised.

He released her hand and took a sip of his coffee before he began.

*******

Hopper leaned against his steel blue GTO, smoking a cigarette. He squinted when he saw someone walking quickly towards him in the darkness.

“Finally,” he said. Opening the door for Joyce to climb into the passenger seat.

“Sorry,” she retorted, giving him a chaste kiss and dodging as he tried to grab her hips. “I had to stay for dinner so my Mom wouldn’t be suspicious.”

“What’d you tell her?” Hopper asked, climbing into the driver’s seat.

She smirked at the memory. “That I’m not to be bothered because I’m looking at those college catalogues she got me, even though I won’t be applying for another year. She was so happy I swear her eyes watered.”

Hopper laughed and shook his head at her. They were silent as he drove towards the highway. He passed her his cigarettes when she saw she had forgotten hers again. She lit one and inhaled, trying not to cough but failing.

He smiled fondly at her.

“Did you get it?” she asked him, leaning into the rear-view mirror to adjust her yellow headband.

“Yeah,” his eyebrow furrowed, suddenly worried he didn’t bring it. He relaxed when his fingers came into contact with it in his shirt pocket.

“Here,” he said, tossing the card into her lap.

She picked it up and examined it. She looked at him and tipped her head to the side in disbelief. “Seriously Hop?”

“What?” he asked defensively.

“Matthew Perry. 22 years old from Florida,” she stopped. “They sure will believe you with this,” she said sarcastically and threw the card back at him as if it were on fire.

“Joyce, it’s a fake ID. I think it’s pretty good. If this works, I’ll ask Benny to thank his friend for me.”

“That’s a pretty big if,” she replied. “Why didn’t you just get James Dean on it instead? That would have been more believable.”

He opened his mouth to retort but she continued. “Hop, no one is going to believe you’re 22. And why would you be from Florida? What the hell are you doing in Indianapolis?”

“Visiting my lovely friend of course,” he replied cheekily, looking at her.

She scoffed. “If I’m your friend then we probably shouldn’t make-out.”

He rolled his eyes. “Joyce relax, it’s fine. He’ll believe me, with my height and all.” He sat up a little straighter to emphasize his point.

“The tattoo artist could be woman you know,” she said.

“Yeah yeah okay. They will believe me, okay?” he said, not wanting to start another argument.

She smiled triumphantly. “Did you decide on what you’re going to get?”

He nodded. “Yeah I’m gonna get a picture of Audrey Hepburn on my back. You know petite brunettes are my type,” he said, and winked at her.

“Funny Hop,” she said dryly. “Really though?”

He frowned. “I dunno. I’ll figure it out when we get there I guess.”

Joyce ignored him. “It should be something that means something. Something you won’t regret later.”

She twirled her hair as she came up with ideas on what he should get. She pitched each one to him and he rejected all of them. Joyce turned away, annoyed.

As she rolled down her window to throw her cigarette away, she suddenly gasped. “I know!” she said excitedly.

He chuckled at her enthusiasm. “What?”

She paused. “Nevermind. It’s stupid.”

He looked at her seriously. “Tell me. It probably is but tell me anyways.”

She rolled her eyes. “What if you get a 56, like a 5 and a 6. You know, in honour of us and –”

“Fifth and sixth period,” he continued for her.

“Yeah,” she murmured.

He considered this. It wasn’t bad and it certainly had meaning. It was better than anything they had tried to come up with. And he definitely wouldn’t regret it later because it would remind him of Joyce every time he saw it. It was like he would be able to carry around a little reminder of him and her wherever he went, even when she wasn’t with him.

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “Yeah, I like it.”

She smiled at him. A big smile that showed her teeth. She leaned over to kiss him as he kept his eyes on the road.

A little while later they pulled up to the tattoo parlour. They had gotten wind of the place through some kid at a party who bragged about how he was 16 and got a tattoo at this place and how they had barely looked at his fake ID.

Joyce and Hopper walked in and the tattoo artist told them to look at the samples while they wait. Joyce grabbed the thick binder and flipped through it casually while glancing at the man who was currently being tattooed in the leather chair. He was getting a large tattoo across his forearm that looked like initials.

She looked at Hopper and saw that he was staring at the man in the chair and his face was pale. She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Hey, you okay?”

Her touch brought him back from his trance and he tried to smile. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “Just thinking.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, knowing he was lying. “Are you scared?” She didn’t ask him meanly, she genuinely wanted to know.

He was about to lie again but saw her expression. “Yeah,” he said softly. “A little.”

“Do you want to leave?” she asked, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles.

He shook his head. “No,” he said firmly. “We drove all this way. Plus, you’re here which makes it better.”

She smiled at him. “Really?” she asked, pressing him further.

He chuckled. “Yeah. I guess I must actually enjoy your company or something.” He really did though. He always had fun with Joyce and these days they went everywhere and did everything together, like partners in crime.

She snatched her hand from his and shoved him lightly in the arm. She turned back to the binder on her lap. She flipped through a couple pages before grabbing Hopper’s hand again.

“Hop look!” she then glanced sheepishly at the tattoo artist to see if he heard her. “Ehm, I mean _Matthew_ …look.”

She pointed at a sample photo of a tattoo of a roman numeral. “What if you do it like that?” 

Hopper moved his body closer to hers to have a better look. “You mean get the 56 in roman numerals?”

“Yeah.”

He slowly nodded. “Yeah okay. I think that would be cool.”

The tattoo artist called them over then and Hopper pulled out his fake ID and handed it over.

The artist did look carefully, and Hopper could tell he was on the fence. He stood a little taller and the artist finally nodded.

Hopper went to sit in the chair and told the artist what he wanted and where. Joyce stood beside him and held his hand.

She didn’t let go when Hop squeezed her hand too hard a couple times. He tried not to let his eyes water too much from the pain and instead focused on the checkered fabric of Joyce’s pants. She smiled reassuringly when it was finished, and he glanced at her.

“It looks great!” she exclaimed, removing her hand from his to clap excitedly.

The artist dressed his tattoo and told him how to take care of it. Hopper stood up wincing slightly. They paid and walked to his car and he handed her the keys so she could drive.

“Did it hurt a lot?” she asked, concerned for him.

He leaned back in the passenger seat as she started the engine. “Yeah,” he said honestly. “But I’m okay, don’t worry.”

“Aww.” She patted his knee. Suddenly he grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers.

“Thanks for coming with me. I mean it. No one else would’ve been better,” he said with a sincere look.

She smiled. “Of course.” They kissed and she ran her tongue over his bottom lip. He groaned softly and she felt his hand creep up her side. She smiled into his lips and grabbed his hand, putting it back into his own lap. She pulled away.

“Okay, okay Casanova. The artist said you have to take it easy for a while. “No strenuous activities.” Remember?” she said teasingly.

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, turning to face forward.

She started the car and pulled into the street. Not wanting this night to end, he turned back to her.

“Hey, my Mom is gone for the weekend, do you wanna come over?” he wiggled his eyebrows in what was meant to be suggestive but looked kind of goofy.

She laughed and shook her head at him. “You’re silly. But yes, that sounds nice.”

They drove in silence for a while until a song Joyce was currently obsessed with came on the radio. She cranked the volume up and began singing along. Hop closed his eyes and smiled, trying to burn the memory into his mind.

*******

El hadn’t interrupted him once during the story and he was surprised she didn’t ask him any questions. He had omitted the PG-13 bits but still he knew she must have questions. Instead she started to stare at him again with that intense gaze of hers. He stared back.

“Happy,” she said after a moment.

Again, he was confused. “What?”

“You were happy. You and Joyce.”

He bit his lip then smiled. “Yeah I guess we were.”

She smiled at his confirmation. She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands across her stomach, regarding him again. “Love,” she said a beat later. Even without the PG-13 bits she could tell.

Hopper’s eyebrows shot up. “Um, n-no kid. Not love. Friends. Me and Joyce were friends…. Are friends.”

She smiled to herself like he had just confirmed it. She considered saying something else but before she could, he stood up abruptly knocking the table and grabbed their plates noisily.

“Okay, story time’s over,” addressing her as if she were a small child. “Time for me to get to work.”

Later on his way to work Hopper was still unnerved at El’s comment. _Love?_ He thought. It couldn’t have been, they never explicitly said it. He cared about Joyce that’s for sure. Deeply if he was being honest.

_What about now?_ He still cared for her. _You did follow her to hell and back. That’s love._ He thought.

He stiffened and pushed those thoughts down. It didn’t matter anyways because she was with Bob now and he had El to raise. It’s not like what happened last year was going to happen again.

Trying to shake himself out of his thoughts, he turned on the radio. His lips pursed as he tried to recall why the song was so familiar. He realized that it was the same one Joyce had sung along to in the car that night.

CHAPTER 3

Summary: Hopper sleeps over at Joyce’s before they go visit Terry Ives. He recalls a memory of Joyce in high school.

Song Inspiration: Let Her Go – Passenger

Hopper and Joyce stayed up until well after midnight coming up with a plan. Joyce had been so shocked to hear that Hopper believed her and shocked at the information he told her afterwards that Hopper had to explain everything twice to her.

While they were deep into their conversation the phone rang and Joyce let out a terrified cry. She became paranoid that the lab really had bugged the place and they just couldn’t find the bug.

Joyce didn’t move so Hopper leapt up to answer it.

“Hello? Yeah. Yeah, she’s here. Yeah, hold on.” Hopper held out the phone for Joyce. “It’s Jonathan,” he said in a calm voice.

Joyce relaxed and took the phone from him, and he went to sit back down at the dining table. “Jonathan?”

“Hi Mom. Is everything okay? Why is Hopper there?” Jonathan asked, speaking too fast, it sounded like he was out of breath or nervous.

“Yes sweetie,” Joyce said, glancing at Hopper who was staring at her. She twirled the phone cord nervously around her fingers. “He, um, he’s just here to offer his condolences. He’s leaving soon,” Joyce lied. She closed her eyes feeling bad.

“Oh…” Jonathan said sadly.

“Where are you sweetie, are you coming home soon?”

Jonathan bit his lip. “Uh, actually Mom, I’m staying over at a friend’s tonight.” _Please don’t ask who. Please don’t ask who_ , he silently begged.

She was surprised. Jonathan didn’t have very many friends, certainly not ones whose houses he liked to say over at. “Oh? Which friend?”

Jonathan shut his eyes and mouthed “shit” silently. “Um, N-Nancy. Nancy Wheeler?”

Joyce must have made a face because Hopper chuckled softly, a sound she hadn’t heard him make in a long time. She smiled slightly and shook her head. “Does Karen know? Maybe I should talk to her –”

“No!” Jonathan interrupted. “Er, I mean no Mom Nancy’s Mom knows. It’s okay, she’s okay. Yeah…I’m staying in the guest bedroom. So, it’s all good.”

“Oh, that’s good. Alright, well goodnight sweetheart. Remember I love you,” Joyce said sweetly.

Jonathan cleared his throat so that his voice wouldn’t come out high-pitched. “Yeah, goodnight Mom.”

Joyce hung up and went to sit back down at the dining table. She lit a cigarette before turning to Hopper. “Jonathan’s staying over at Nancy Wheeler’s for the night.”

Hopper raised an eyebrow. “That normal?” he asked.

Joyce shook her head.

Hopper shrugged. “He’s a good kid. The Wheeler girl is too.”

Joyce took a drag and thought. “He was lying to me on the phone,” she said a beat later.

Hopper looked at her. “How do you know?”

Joyce gave him a look. “I’m his mother Hop. I raised him; I can always tell. Plus, I have a knack for telling if someone is lying.” Seventeen years with Lonnie had helped her hone those skills.

Hopper accepted this and nodded. “Yeah, you could always tell with me,” he said, nonchalantly.

Joyce was taken aback at Hopper’s mention of the past. Seldom did he bring it up, to anyone. She knew this because no one besides Flo had been able to get a word out of him about what happened when he left Hawkins, and even that conversation had been clipped. She looked at him wearily and saw that he had looked away and was now starting at the bottom of his coffee mug.

She didn’t remark on what he said. Instead, they resumed making their plans and got so consumed neither of them noticed it was after midnight until Hopper glanced at his watch after yawning.

“Shit,” he said. “I should get going. You’re probably tired and we should rest if we’re going to Terry’s early tomorrow…I mean today.”

Joyce regarded him for a moment then looked down like she was unsure.

“What?” Hopper asked, sensing her apprehension.

“Well, um, we’re leaving in a couple hours anyways. It doesn’t uh, make sense for you to go…you know go and come back. Jonathan’s gone for the night. You could just stay here…on the couch. Um, to sleep.”

Not very many things could shake Hopper. He had endured so much he was unshakable but Joyce’s offer to let him stay for the night practically unnerved him. Familiar butterfly feelings he hadn’t felt in a long time, and an even longer time for Joyce, crept up on him.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, a little too eagerly. “If that’s okay,” he added, making it more awkward. _Oh God_ , he said to himself, cringing internally at his awkwardness.

Joyce merely rolled her eyes at him and stood up. “Yes, Hop. Of course it is, that’s why I offered.” She left him at the table to disappear down the corridor.

He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. _Relax you loser. She’s your friend. She was your best friend. It’s not like you never slept over with her before._ He felt like he was 18 again.

He went to sit on the couch, and he spotted her coming back with blankets and pillows. She put them down gently and looked at him. She smiled slightly.

“I’m going to go to sleep. Are you gonna be alright?” she asked.

“Yeah. Yep. Fine. I’m good. Thanks.” Hopper wished the ground would just open up and he could fall through. Why was he being so awkward?

Luckily Joyce didn’t seem to notice or was just too polite to say anything. “Okay, well goodnight Hop. See you in a couple hours.” And with that she turned swiftly and retreated to her bedroom.

Joyce shut her door and leaned against it. Was she just imagining it or was Hopper…nervous? He was always the calmer one in their relationship so when he was nervous, she was even more so. She worried that something was wrong, that he was withholding some piece of information from her.

She shook her head. He wouldn’t do that. _He’s probably just nervous about going to see Terry_ , she thought. She shrugged to herself and got ready for bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she drifted off to sleep, the memory of Hopper telling her she had been right the whole time at the forefront of her mind.

Hopper on the other hand couldn’t sleep, a million thoughts racing though his head. As he stared up at the ceiling in the dark, he couldn’t help but think of the woman sleeping in the room down the hall from him. Were they friends now? He didn’t know.

He just knew that he wanted to be there and help her. Because of their friendship, but also because if he could do anything within his power to save another child from ending up like his own little girl, then he would do it.

No one, especially not Joyce and all the shit she had been through, should go through the trauma that comes with losing a child. That trauma never leaves you. He would know, him and his black hole.

Not wanting to depress himself further, he thought of how Joyce had argued with him earlier while they were making plans. He smiled at the memory and realized that he forgot how enjoyable it was to bicker with her. He forgot how much passion she had, especially when it came to her boys.

He thought of Joyce and him in their high school days. His teenage years had been a fairy-tale compared to what he was going though now. He smiled again at another memory of them and was reminded of how Joyce would never fail to take away some of the darkness he was always so easily attracted to. This one in particular was his favorite.

***

Hopper was seething. This was the third time in a month that his car had broken down on his way to school. Now he had to work extra shifts at Benny’s to pay to get it fixed.

He slid into his seat in homeroom and ran a hand over his face, trying to wipe the sweat off his face.

Benny leaned over to him from the desk beside him. “What happened?” he asked, wanting to know why Hopper was so sweaty at 8 in the morning.

Hopper shook his head. “I’ll tell you later,” he replied through gritted teeth.

Benny shrugged and opened his notebook.

The music to the pledge of allegiance started playing and everyone stood up to recite it. Hopper sat back down afterwards and leaned forward in his seat, gripping the top edge of his desk, and listening with anticipation. Even in his anger he still looked forward to this.

Since Joyce had been put in detention so many times that year and Principal Deetz, had come up with a new punishment for her. She had been forced to do the morning announcements each day, which required her to wake up earlier than the rest of the students to come to school and prep.

Her punishment was supposed to end tomorrow, but yesterday afterschool Principal Deetz had caught her slapping Lindsey Fox across the face when he grabbed her ass in the hallway. The slap was so hard, Lindsey dropped his books and cried out clutching his cheek, an angry red welt already forming within seconds. Hopper had never laughed so hard in his life.

Unfortunately, Principal Deetz hadn’t shared his sense of humour and tacked on an extra two weeks to her punishment in front of everyone.

“He was harassing me! You’re gonna make me pay for it?” she cried out angrily.

“Ms. Horowitz, you know the rules, no violence on school property,” the Principal responded dismissively.

“What about no sexual harassment on school property? When is a man gonna start taking a woman’s word over another man’s?” she shot back.

Principal Deetz regarded her coolly. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, bright and early.” And with that he walked away.

Joyce glared after him. She stomped away angrily while Lindsey and his friends laughed at her. Hopper regarded them then followed her out. He ran after her so he could calm her down, pausing briefly to key Lindsey Fox’s car.

So that was how Joyce ended up in a chair in front of the microphone, angrier than ever, with Principal Deetz standing over her.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen. This is Joyce Horowitz with your morning announcements this lovely April day.” She stared down at the prepared script in front of her and rolled her eyes.

“Today’s lunch special is fish sticks and mashed potatoes. How delicious.” Joyce cringed.

“In exciting news,” Joyce continued in a bored tone. “Tickets for the annual Spring Fling dance go on sale today. Get ‘em before they’re gone,” she said mockingly.

Principal Deetz cleared his throat and gave her look, clearly unhappy with her tone.

Joyce ignored him. “A reminder that soccer tryouts start this Thursday. Any questions should be directed to Coach Mills.”

“The art society is showcasing its final paintings afterschool today. The theme for this collection is landscapes. Please stop by the art room to see these beautiful and ideal – ,” she paused unsure of how to pronounce the word. She came late on purpose that morning and hadn’t had time to practice.

She tried to sound the word out in her mind. I-D-Y-L-L-I-C.

“Ideal – Idill – Idea – ” she tried again. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she swore softly. Too bad she was in front of the mic.

She could hear the laughter coming from the classroom beside the main office and turned red.

“Ms. Horowitz!” came Principal Deetz’s shocked response.

Back in homeroom, Hopper was laughing so hard he had knocked over his books on his desk and was holding his sides so that he wouldn’t burst. His laugh was booming and the loudest of all. He sure wasn’t in a bad mood anymore.

As his laughter subsided, he wiped the tears from his eyes and listened again. There was a shuffling noise as he guessed Joyce was being pulled away and escorted to Principal Deetz’s office again.

Hopper was right and smiled again when Principal Deetz’s voice came over the PA. “Thank you Ms. Horowitz, our secretary Mrs. May will now continue the announcements.”

Hopper exchanged a glance with Benny and they both grinned at each other. Joyce had received an extra two weeks for cussing that morning.

***

Hopper chuckled softly and let the memory fade as he yawned again. As he struggled to understand why fate had brought them together at this point in time, he fell asleep, not finding the answer yet but hoping he would soon.

CHAPTER 4

Summary: Hopper’s reaction after Murray yells at him and Joyce in the car on the way back to Hawkins.

Song Inspiration: Fire – The Pointer Sisters

Murray and Alexei had been laughing for at least five minutes before they started talking about something else.

Hopper glared into the mirror and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from lashing out at them. What the fuck was Murray on? Was he high from the fumes in that decrepit place of his? Him and Joyce? Sexual feelings?

_What the actual fuck?_ Hopper thought. He glanced at Joyce but saw she was turned away from him, staring out the side of the car.

He noticed her hand was curled in a first and her nails were digging into the palm of her hand, a sign she was stressed. Was she just worried about the kids or bothered by what Murray said?

Hopper looked away from her and back at the road.

_Who the fuck does he think he is?_ Hopper stewed in his mind. _A sick fuck, that’s who._

Murray was so crass. Tear off their clothes in the car? Had he not been so shocked, he would’ve reached back there and decked them both.

The car became quiet. They would be in Hawkins soon and he and Joyce could find the kids and Joyce and them could go somewhere safe.

Hopper sighed. _I wonder what it would be like to kiss Joyce again. Wait, what? No!_ Hopper could not go down this road again. Not right now when they were supposed to be focused on turning that damned machine off.

He froze, as if the other three could hear his thoughts. He glanced at the mirror again and saw that Murray and Alexei were both asleep. He glanced at Joyce again and saw she was still turned away, her arms crossed now.

He focused on the road, glancing at the map in his lap to check how far they had to go.

He soon got bored of driving in silence and found his thoughts drifting back to when things were simpler.

*******

Joyce ran her hands through Hopper’s hair, pulling gently. She kissed him eagerly and frantically. Hopper responded by clutching on to her waist tightly as she moved from her seat in his car to sit on his lap.

They had been parked in front of Joyce’s house for several minutes now. He was supposed to be dropping her off from the drive-in where they had done this once already.

Joyce moaned softly when Hopper’s lips moved from hers to trail kisses down her neck. She pulled him closer to her. He migrated back to her lips again and she could feel her neck burn from the kisses he left there.

Hopper gasped when she ran her hands under his shirt and began softly kissing his chest. He leaned back in the driver’s seat.

“Hop,” she said suddenly, her voice raspy.

“Huh?” Hopper said, looking down at her.

“We have to stop,” she said and did so.

Hopper kept his hands on her waist and squeezed gently. “Why?” he all but whined.

Joyce smirked. “Because my Father will come out here soon with his shot gun if I don’t go in.”

Hopper glanced wearily at the house and groaned. Joyce slid off his lap and back into her own seat, adjusting her skirt and combing her fingers through her hair.

Hopper tried to calm himself down. “Can I sleepover?” he asked, his voice deeper than usual.

Joyce smiled, then leaned over and cupped his cheek with her hand. He leaned in.

Joyce shook her head. “You do remember my Mom almost caught you last night, right? Besides I need to finish that stupid paper for Mr. Cooper,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Hopper chuckled. “That asshole has got it out for us, I’m telling you.”

Joyce laughed and Hopper smiled. He could listen to her laugh and never get tired of it.

“I gotta go, my parents will flip,” she said and got out of the car. She leaned in as he leaned forward to give her a kiss goodbye.

“Remember you’re giving me a ride to Indianapolis on Sunday to get new records. Pick me up at 8.”

“Why can’t you just get ‘em in town?”

“Because the store doesn’t have some of the ones I want,” she replied.

“So early,” he grumbled.

Joyce just looked at him. “Hop.”

“Come on,” he pleaded. “How about 10 instead?”

“Hmmm,” she said, putting a finger on her chin and pretending to think about it. “Nope,” she chirped.

He groaned, exasperated. “Has anyone ever told you how stubborn you are?”

“You. Almost everyday,” she deadpanned.

“Well you obviously don’t care.”

“Mmm, nope,” she said, shaking her head and smiling.

He tried to look annoyed with her, but he was more amused.

“See you at 8,” Joyce said again.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he groaned, running his hand over his face.

“Don’t be mad because you love me,” she taunted.

Hopper scoffed. “I don’t.”

“Liar,” she simply said. And with that she turned on her heel and walked towards her house.

Of course, he was lying. He loved her from the first day he saw her stomping off the school bus in an ugly yellow dress her Mom had insisted she wore, even though she was 12. He was standing in front of the school with Benny and watched as she tore off the ribbon on her head and promptly threw it into a nearby bush.

She shook out her long brown hair. She then started rooting through her backpack and took out a pair of sneakers. She changed into them from her saddle shoes, and stuffed the latter into her backpack, then stormed off into the building.

In that moment, Hopper knew at the very least he wanted to be friends with her. And so he did, and soon their friendship grew into something more.

He watched as she ran to her house, pausing to wave before going inside. He chuckled to himself and drove off.

***

Hopper must have made a noise while he was lost in his thoughts because Joyce turned abruptly to look at him. When she saw that he was fine she turned away again.

He tugged on his collar, still not over the memory of him and Joyce making out in his car. It was like he could still feel her skin on his. He discreetly moved the map on his lap to cover the bulge in his pants without taking his eyes off the road.

Several minutes later he cleared his throat and turned to the backseat of his car. “Hey assholes!” he bellowed, causing Murray and Alexei to wake up and Joyce to startle.

“Wake up sleeping beauties, we’re in Hawkins.”

CHAPTER 5

Summary: Hopper gets ready for his date with Joyce at Enzo’s and reflects on going to her for help. He remembers the time he told Joyce about El.

Song Inspiration: Have I Told You Lately – Rod Stewart

Hopper grabbed the radio in his car, fumbling and dropping it. He picked it up again, switching the channel to the one he and Flo used to communicate privately.

“Come in Flo,” he said. Silence.

“Flo, come in, it’s Hop.”

Finally, he received a reply. “Hop? I’m here.”

He sighed in relief. “Flo, I need a favour,” he said in a rush.

Though Flo didn’t sigh over the radio, he could practically hear her doing so. “Well it’ll have to wait. I’m on my lunch break and I’m swinging by the mall,” she replied.

“That’s perfect!” Hopper exclaimed loudly. In her own car, Flo abruptly pulled the radio away from her ear.

“Look I need you to get me a shirt…at the mall,” Hopper continued.

Flo was silent for a second before she replied. “A shirt?” she asked in a flat tone.

Hopper nodded. “Yeah, you know like one of the ones, uhm, Magnum wears…you know on the TV?” Hopper winced at how stupid he probably sounded.

“I’m not a personal shopper Hop,” she said, slightly annoyed.

Hopper closed his eyes. “Please Flo, it’s for something important. Really important. I wouldn’t ask otherwise.” He wanted their date to be perfect and him looking presentable was number one on the list.

Flo was silent again, but this time for longer and Hopper was about to check their connection when she spoke again. “Alrighty then, I can do that. Should I just meet you at the mayor’s office then?”

Hopper breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah. Yeah that sounds good. Thanks Flo,” he quickly turned off his radio before she could change her mind.

Hopper pulled out of the parking lot of Melvald’s and drove towards the mayor’s. On his way there he thought about his date with Joyce tonight and softly grinned. Chuckling to himself, he recalled how she had been so happy for him that his talk with El went well (Okay so he left out a couple details, he would tell her tonight).

It still surprised him how easily his mood would change when he was around her. Just hearing her laughter or seeing her smile would put a smile on his face. Then his cold heart would warm, and he would be so overwhelmed by the feeling he felt like he would combust.

He was so grateful they hadn’t completely lost their friendship. He knew he could go to her for anything, and she could come to him for anything. He knew he could always count on Joyce.

He remembered another time he went to Joyce for help, knowing she wouldn’t turn him away….

***

Joyce startled at a loud knock on her front door. _Who could it be?_ she thought. Will and Jonathan were both out, and besides, they had keys.

Joyce opened the door to reveal a very pale-looking Hopper. He swallowed hard. “Joyce,” he choked out.

Joyce’s eyes immediately widened in fear. “Hopper, what’s wrong? Is it Will?”

Hopper shook his head quickly, and took her elbow, guiding her back into the house and closing the door. “Everything’s fine. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said gently and calmly.

She relaxed. “Oh. Then what’s going on?” she asked and gestured vaguely at the dining table, trying to convey that he should sit down.

She went to the kitchen to pour him a cup of coffee as he removed his hat and ran a hand through his beard anxiously.

He sat down and she placed the cup in front of him, sitting across from him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

She gave him a small smile and lit a cigarette. She looked at him with a patient expression on her face.

He lit his own cigarette trying to buy time, his hands slightly shaking with nerves. _Jesus Christ Hopper, it’s Joyce. She’ll know how to help_ , he scolded himself. 

“I uh…I have to tell you something,” he said, not looking her in the eye.

“Hopper,” she said. “You’re scaring me again.”

“Sorry,” he apologized immediately. He took a sip of coffee as he thought about what to say.

“Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Joyce suggested.

Hopper nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. So, umm, do you remember, umm, Eleven?”

Joyce nearly dropped her cigarette in surprise. She recovered quickly. “Yes, of course Hop. Why… are you asking?”

“Umm…” he took a deep breath and willed himself to go on. “Because I sort of, found her?”

Now Joyce really did drop her cigarette and Hopper hastily picked it up and put it in the ashtray before it could burn the wooden table.

Joyce was staring at him in disbelief. “But I thought she was…dead,” she whispered the last word as if saying it out loud would make her so.

Hopper shook his head. “No, she’s wasn’t, uh, isn’t. She’s alive. She was hiding in the woods.”

Joyce’s lips parted and she looked sad. “Hiding? By herself?”

“Uh-huh. From Brenner.”

Joyce nodded in understanding. “Is she still there? In the woods?” She was already making plans in her head about how she would go find El and have her stay with them.

“No,” Hopper took a deep breath again. “She’s living with me. At my cabin.”

If Hopper wasn’t so anxious he would have laughed loudly at her comical reaction to his admission. She flinched and her lips puckered into a perfect o-shape.

“She is?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes,” he replied, getting defensively.

She was silent and lit another cigarette. “For how long?”

Hopper bit his lip. “Er, how long has she been living with me?”

Joyce rolled her eyes, a sign she wasn’t angry, just exasperated. “Yes, Hop. How long has she been living with you?” she repeated.

“A couple months.”

“And you didn’t tell me because…?”

Hopper sighed and looked at her sincerely. “Joyce, I wanted to. I swear. But I was afraid of the danger the knowledge would put you and the boys in. You’re already stressed enough with Will’s appointments.”

She nodded at this in confirmation. “So, not because you didn’t trust me?”

Now Hopper was surprised. The possibility of her thinking that didn’t even cross his mind. He had assumed she knew he trusted her. That they could trust each other above anyone else.

“Of course not Joyce. I trust you with every fibre of my being,” he said definitively.

She relaxed at his words and became less wary. “Sorry,” she said softly. “I know you do.”

He nodded once, indicating his forgiveness at her accusation. He leaned forward in his chair and put out his cigarette.

“So why are you coming to me now? What’s happened?” she asked, quick to out two and two together.

Hop chucked softly and saw that she was smirking. “I need your help with something.”

She flicked her hand, simultaneously acknowledging the fact that she was right and telling him to go on.

“El, she’s…not happy. She’s been asking to go out, see her friends. She really misses ‘em.” Hopper sighed and jabbed the end of his cigarette into the ashtray.

“But I keep telling her it’s not safe yet, that we have to wait, but she just doesn’t understand,” his voice rose as he got angrier.

“Yesterday she said the cabin was like the lab,” he spat out, irritably.

Hopper put his hands in his head, frustrated. It’s not like he didn’t want her to see her friends. Hell, he would even bring them to her if he could. But he couldn’t. A little voice in his head still told him to be careful, that those people could come back and take her from him.

Joyce’s heart broke at how distraught he was, and she came to sit beside him. She rubbed his shoulder lightly. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” she said gently.

He looked up at her and into her eyes. “Yeah?” he said as he laughed nervously, like he was unsure of this.

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah. You just need to find some common ground, that’s all. Talk her through it. I know you can.”

Hopper’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought. “You mean like a compromise?”

Joyce smiled wider. “Exactly! You can’t give her everything she asks for, and you can’t deny her everything, so meet in the middle. Offer her things you can give her and try to get her to agree to them. Try to be patient with her. Well, as patient as you can be,” she said, knowingly.

He nodded. “I guess I could try that.”

“Good!” Joyce chirped.

He put his hand on hers and squeezed it. “Thanks Joyce. Really.”

“Anytime Hop.”

As he looked into her eyes, it was in that moment that Hopper knew she meant the world to him. Not only because of the clarity she brought him, but also because he felt as if only she was able to see into his self and see all of him for who he really was. And rather than run from his pain and darkness, she helped him fight it while battling her own, beside him. 

She pulled away gently and padded into the kitchen, pouring a glass of water for herself.

He glanced at his watch and cleared his throat awkwardly. “I should go, the kid’s probably waiting,” he said softly. He walked towards the door. He paused on the porch as she stood in the doorway.

“Let me know if you need anything, or if she does,” Joyce said.

Hopper nodded. “Will do.” Hopper put his hat on. “Maybe you can come by. When it’s safe.”

Joyce smiled again, eyes shining. “I’d love to. I miss her.”

Hopper nodded again. “Goodnight Joyce.”

“Night Hop.”

***

The sound of shouting broke him away from the memory, as he turned the corner and stopped his car in front of the mayor’s office. He got out of his car and strode quickly towards the entrance, wanting to put an end to this so he could get ready for his date with Joyce.

CHAPTER 6

Summary: Joyce and Hopper’s reaction after Dr. Owens tells them that Will is a host. Joyce is afraid to lose Hopper again.

Song Inspiration: As Long As You Follow – Fleetwood Mac

“Oh God,” Joyce cried. She turned toward Hopper and buried herself into his arms. He instantly wrapped his strong arms around her as she cried into his chest.

“It’s okay Joyce. It’s gonna be alright, okay?” He said, gently rubbing her back.

Hopper glanced at Doctor Owens, who was still standing there awkwardly watching them curiously.

Hopper cleared his throat. “Uh Doc? Do you mind giving us…a moment?” he said, over Joyce’s head.

The doctor nodded quickly and went back into Will’s room.

Hopper glanced down at Joyce who had stopped crying but was still shaking. He held her as she pulled back to look at him. Her wild brown eyes were met with soft blue ones.

She was frightened. She had just found one person she cared about inches from death when another collapsed on the field and had a seizure.

She was brought to the hospital where her frantic questions about Hopper and Will were ignored and now after witnessing her child being tortured, she was being told he was a host to some demon.

And to think, she let herself believe just for a second, or dream more like, that this year would be better than last year. That they could finally be a normal family with no disasters. _How stupid Joyce_ , she thought bitterly.

Joyce sighed and pulled away from Hopper to wipe the tears from her face.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Hopper repeated.

“God Hopper, how can you sound so sure? You don’t know,” she said, sadly.

Hopper sighed, his soft eyes changing to stormy ones at her tone. She was right, he didn’t. “I don’t,” he said bluntly. “But I will, no, we will do our best. Okay, me and you.” 

“What if that isn’t enough Hop? What if this time I actually bury my son for real?” Joyce was on the verge of tears again, but she crossed her arms over herself before he could move towards her again.

“Joyce listen to me, that isn’t going to happen. Okay? I promise.”

“God I’m sick of people promising me shit they can’t give,” Joyce said quietly, looking into Hopper’s eyes. She wasn’t angry, she was just…overwhelmed.

Hopper put his hands on her shoulders. He felt Joyce’s shoulders relax. “This I can give Joyce. I promise I will help you fight for him until my last breath.”

Joyce sighed. “I know you will Hop.” She did know. He had already once proven that he would lay down his life to save her son. A boy who he never even properly met until after his rescue. He had proven that despite him being broken, he could find some of himself to put back together and be selfless for Joyce and her boys. That his strength was not gone, even though he thought it was.

Hopper nodded at Joyce’s confirmation and removed his hands from her shoulders.

“But I don’t want you to,” she said in a small voice.

“What?” he asked, confused.

“I don’t want you to Hop,” she repeated. “You only just came back,” she added, referring to his near death in the upside down.

“Joyce, I told you I’m fine,” Hopper said.

Joyce shook her head angrily. “Hop, you’re not listening to me. I said you cannot go in there again, okay?” she said, panicking at the thought.

She meant what she said. She could not lose him again, she needed him, alive, to get through whatever test this was, whatever this might be. She needed him for things to be okay. For them to be bearable. Without him, she was lost, left in her darkness, alone.

The realization of this now painfully obvious fact came when she was calling his name in the upside down, tripping over her own feet, trying to find him. She called his name repeatedly, only to be met with silence, her worst fears consuming her mind.

She couldn’t imagine her life without him, and it shocked her when she realized how quickly her feelings for him had resurfaced. Feelings she tried hard, but failed, to have for Bob instead.

“Joyce…”

“Just, Hopper, I-I can’t lose you, okay? Not again. Please, Hop,” she said, taking Hopper’s hands in hers. His larger hands automatically folded around her smaller ones. “Promise me. Promise me you will not go in the upside down again,” she said sternly.

Hopper took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and process the information she just told him. After a moment he squeezed her hands.

“Joyce…. I can’t. If it’s down to me or the kids or me and you it’s always going to be me. I can’t promise you I won’t go in,” he said softly. He felt her trying to pull her hands away from his, but he held them still. “But I promise I will do what I can to avoid going in, okay?” 

Joyce closed her eyes. His offer would still potentially keep him safe from the upside down.

“Okay,” she relented.

“Okay,” he breathed.

Someone cleared their throat behind them. Hopper released Joyce’s hands and turned to find Mike.

“What kid?” he asked.

“Mrs. Byers?” Mike said, addressing Joyce. “Will’s asking for you,” Mike said quickly before dashing back into the room.

And with that Joyce went in after Mike, followed by Hopper. She held on to the little hope she had and wished for all of them to come out of this alive.

CHAPTER 7

Summary: Joyce’s thoughts after she rejects Hopper’s initial dinner offer. She thinks about their relationship and recalls the little things he does for her.

Song Inspiration: Here You Come Again – Dolly Parton

“I’ll see you later Joyce. Carol,” Hop said, tipping his hat lightly.

“Oh Chief, I didn’t see you back there!” the older woman exclaimed. “Leaving so soon?”

“Uh, yeah,” Hopper grumbled. “Duty calls,” he lied, pointing to his Blazer.

Joyce watched him and nodded slowly. She was still embarrassed from her awkward lie moments before. He obviously knew she had no plans that night but was too nice to challenge her.

“Good luck Hop,” Joyce said, referring to his heart-to-heart with El.

“Thanks,” he said quickly, and left.

Carol turned to Joyce with a look that clearly indicated she wanted to know more but luckily, she respected Joyce and Hopper’s privacy and dropped it in favour of returning to their conversation about the party supplies she wanted to order.

***

As Joyce was driving home, she found herself thinking about Hopper again. She laughed softly, remembering the look on his face when he walked in that morning. Her thoughts skipped forward to when he asked her to dinner. _What did he mean by it?_ she wondered. She rolled her eyes at herself. _He obviously meant as friends_ , she continued. _I doubt he wants anything more._

But the look that he had given her. His eyes were gentler and darker than they usually were. He looked at her as if he was looking into her soul, and when he would do that her vision would tunnel and she would have to remind herself to breathe.

She had seen that look before when they were kids, but it was usually accompanied by a mischievous smirk. This new look was slightly different. There was a seriousness that hadn’t been there before, and a sense of… something else, she couldn’t give it a name yet. Then he would smile in a way that would make her breath slightly hitch.

He had been looking at her like that more recently. The looks she could handle, no matter how nervous they made her. But these looks were accompanied by actions that revealed just how much he cared.

They scared her because they made her step out of the bubble she tried so hard to keep herself in. They made her question what was out of her comfort zone, and they made her doubt the practicality of the bubble. Did Hopper have feelings for her… as more than friends? And as an alarming follow-up question, did she return those feelings for him?

But these actions could have been Hopper just trying to be nice. Now she was confusing herself even more. She thought more about the few times that made her question her relationship with him.

***

“Mom the phone!” Jonathan called from kitchen. His hands were covered in paint as he was helping Will with a diorama for school.

“I got it,” she called from her bedroom, running to its place on the wall to grab it before the caller hung up.

“Hello?” she said.

“Joyce?” came Hopper’s voice on the other end.

“Hopper?” she instantly panicked. She didn’t think she would ever stop panicking whenever Hop called her. “What’s wrong?”

At her tone, Jonathan and Will looked up from their respective painting in fear.

“Nothing, Joyce, nothing, everything is fine,” Hopper said softly, trying to calm her.

She relaxed. “It’s fine”, she mouthed to the boys. They shared an uneasy look but returned to their work.

“That’s a relief. Sorry, Hop,” she said.

“It’s okay. Listen I was wondering if you and Jonathan might want to come over for dinner tomorrow night?” Hopper asked.

Joyce’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh? What’s the occasion?” They didn’t usually do planned dinners. Sometimes Hopper would stay for dinner with El when she was over late. The Byers’ household was the only home Hopper allowed El to visit, but only when he was with her.

Hopper cleared his throat. “Nothing. I mean, I ran into Jonathan afterschool today. He said Will was going somewhere, a field trip?”

Joyce nodded. “Yeah. The whole grade is going to Indianapolis to the science museum there. He’s leaving tomorrow morning and coming back late evening. I have to go pick him up from the bus station.”

“Hmm. I’m surprised you let him go,” Hopper said, half serious, half joking.

Joyce chuckled. “Yeah well, he says he wants to try and be normal. Like the other kids.”

Hopper smirked. “El says the same thing. You’re a better parent than I am.”

Joyce smiled. “Is that why your asking us to dinner? Because Will is gone? I thought you liked him,” she teased.

He made a noise of derision. “I do Joyce, you know I do. No, I’m asking ‘cause I figured you might want the company. You know, to help take your mind off Will? Jonathan can hang out with the kid. I got her that stupid game she’d been asking for. You and me… we can hang out.”

Joyce raised an eyebrow. She bit her lip, trying not to laugh. “Hang out?”

“Yeah, umm, smoke cigarettes, talk, whatever. I’ll even gossip if you want,” he said, light-heartedly.

Joyce laughed. “Hop, I’m usually the subject of the gossip, not the gossiper. But that does sound nice. Are you sure it wouldn’t be any trouble?”

“No,” he said simply. “The kid’s been itching to see you. Says she’s making dessert. I hope you like Eggos.”

Joyce smiled. “Okay. We’ll be there.”

“Okay.”

“Hop?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

***

Joyce stopped in her tracks when she saw Hopper casually leaning against his Blazer in front of Melvald’s. He threw away his cigarette when she approached him. She could tell he wasn’t angry or anxious from his body language.

“Hopper?” she said, confused.

“Let’s go. I’m giving you a ride home,” he said, not giving her room to argue.

Joyce stared. “How did you know my car broke down?”

Hopper gritted his teeth. “Powell told me. Said he had it towed this morning.”

Hopper left out the part where he had yelled at Powell for not giving Joyce a ride to work and making her walk. Powell insisted it was not that far and she had refused his offer.

Hopper wasn’t going to let her walk home, so he left work early to pick her up.

He walked to the passenger’s side and opened the door. He nodded his head towards the seat, indicating that she should get in.

Joyce crossed her arms. “Hop it’s fine, I can wait for a bus, I –”

“Joyce, forget it,” Hopper said, cutting her off. “You’re not going to wait for the damn bus okay? And you’re not walking home either. It’s freezing.”

Joyce didn’t move. Hopper sighed, his nostrils flaring with annoyance.

“Jesus Christ Joyce, it’s just a ride. You can invite me and El for dinner after if it makes you feel better, okay? Just get in the car, I can see your nose getting red from over here.”

Hopper relaxed when he saw her relent and walk around the car. “Fine,” she huffed, climbing into the seat. “Thank you,” she added, more sincerely.

Hopper smiled and closed the door gently.

***

“Shit,” Joyce swore softly, patting down the pockets of her jacket.

“What’s wrong?” Hopper asked from the little dining table.

Joyce gave up and plopped back down in her seat. “I forgot them again. Can I?” she asked, reaching for his pack of unfiltered Camels. “Last time, I promise.”

Hopper smiled. “Hold on.”

He disappeared into his room and came back with another box of Camels. Joyce watched, confused. Hopper paused to peek into El’s room where she and Will were watching TV.

“You kids okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” came El’s soft voice.

Hopper came back to the table and handed Joyce the pack in his hand. From the angle he was standing in, she couldn’t help but notice how toned his arms looked. She blushed slightly, and instead looked down to see that the cigarettes were filtered.

“Since when do you smoke filtered ones? Doctors finally scaring you?” she teased. Taking a cigarette out to light it.

Hopper chuckled lightly and cleared his throat. “Uh, actually, they’re for you.”

Joyce paused, a cigarette in one hand and a lighter in the other. “Me?”

“Yeah. You always forget and you don’t like my unfiltered ones, so I got a pack to keep around for when you, you know, needed it,” he said looking at her expectantly.

“Hop…” she didn’t know what to say. “That’s really thoughtful, thank you.”

Hop shrugged. “Yeah well, I’m tired of you complaining and nagging me to get filtered ones after that quack told you they’re bad for you.”

Joyce scoffed. “It’s true, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

She lit her cigarette. “And I don’t _always_ forget!”

Hopper stared at her. “Joyce. You forget almost every time you come over.”

Joyce waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t,” she said firmly.

Hopper shook his head and smiled fondly at her.

***

“I’m coming!” Joyce shouted, already annoyed at the person kicking her front door. She ran a hand through her hair, which was matted from sleep.

Joyce had barely opened the door when Hopper pushed through, holding several grocery bags and plopping them down on her kitchen counter.

“What-?”

“Okay, before you say no, it’s no big deal okay? I went grocery shopping for myself, saw some stuff you and the boys might like, and bought them. They were even on sale.”

_Fuck_ , Joyce thought. She had completely forgotten to go grocery shopping. She meant to go after her shift yesterday and today, but she was so exhausted, all she wanted to do was come home and sleep.

“Hopper, this is too much,” Joyce argued.

Hopper shook his head. He knew this would happen. Getting a millionaire to accept his groceries would be easier than getting Joyce to.

“It’s not. Remember? I’ve seen how much the boys can eat,” he smiled slightly at the thought. 

She eyed the bags but was still reluctant.

“El and I won’t be able to eat it all if I take it back. I’ll have to throw it away,” he said, knowing she hated to waste food.

“Alright, okay, you win Hop. Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah. Listen I gotta get home before the Wheeler kid shows up. You okay?” he asked, noting the deep circles under her eyes.

“I’m fine,” she lied, exhausted.

Hopper nodded, unconvinced. He opened the front door. “Call me if you wanna talk,” he said softly before closing it.

***

“I thought you’d be happy,” Hopper said to Joyce.

Joyce groaned, covering her face with both hands. “I am, I just, I didn’t think it would come so soon. I barely have anything saved up. The book doesn’t even say anything about financial aid.” She jabbed her finger into the college catalogue angrily.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. He’s just applying, we don’t know where he’s going yet,” Hopper said, trying to be rational.

Joyce gave him a look. “Hopper, he’s going to NYU. That’s the only place he’s wanted to go since he was 6. He’s going. I just need to figure out how,” she tried to take a deep breath to calm herself, but it came out shakily.

Across the table from her, Hopper sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. Tapping his fingers in thought.

***

Two days later, Joyce walked into Melvald’s to find Hopper and Donald arguing.

“You don’t think that matters?” Hopper said, angrily.

“I told you I can’t. My hands are tied. It’s this new mall,” Donald defended.

“That’s no excuse,” Hopper seethed.

“What’s going on?” Joyce interrupted. Both men turned to look at her with alarm, indicating that they were completely unaware of her presence until now and that she was clearly not supposed to hear their conversation.

“Nothing Joyce,” Donald said, quickly.

“Yeah, nothing,” Hopper said between his teeth. He turned angrily towards Donald once more. “Find a way. You know it’s right.”

And with that, Hopper left. Storming out and pushing the door so fast, the little bell almost fell off.

Donald looked at her uncomfortably. “We got a new shipment in. It’s downstairs.”

Joyce looked at him, still confused. “Umm, okay, I’ll get to it then.”

***

Despite these instances, she had her doubts about Hopper. Lately they had begun to bicker more and more. Then there was Bob. She was doing better, but she still felt guilt over his death. Had she not told him, he wouldn’t have come with her, and he would be alive, right? She could still hear his laughter when she was alone.

As she pulled into the parking lot, she was reminded that her theories and doubts about she and Hopper didn’t matter anyways because she was moving soon. The boys had to be her priority, as they always had been. She had to make it work somehow, with or without Hopper.

She rummaged through her purse to retrieve the cheque Donald gave her so she could go into the bank to deposit it. When she ripped the envelope open, she nearly dropped the cheque in surprise. The amount was significantly higher than what Donald usually paid her. Convinced he made a mistake and annoyed that she would have to wait until tomorrow for him to correct it, she almost missed the note accompanying the cheque.

_Dear Joyce,_

_This is long overdue. Please accept this as my gratitude for your help these past years._

_Donald_

Joyce closed her eyes and smiled. She couldn’t wait to tell Hopper.

CHAPTER 8

Summary: After a bad fight with Lonnie, Joyce reflects on the last time she felt safe and happy. Across town, Hopper drowns his sorrows and wants to talk to Joyce. He meets Lonnie instead.

Song Inspiration: Need You Now – Lady Antebellum

“Fuck you Lonnie! You lying asshole!” Joyce yelled.

Lonnie’s nostrils flared as he raised a hand to hit Joyce across the face. She ducked, and ran behind him, her hand curving around her swollen belly automatically. She moved across the room quickly and ducked again as he threw his vodka glass at her head. It missed and hit the back wall, shattering into pieces.

Jonathan came running out of his room, their fighting having woken him up. His eyes travelled from the vodka and glass mixture on the wall and floor to Joyce. He ran to her and wrapped his arms around her leg.

“Mommy! You okay?” he asked.

Joyce bent down and picked him up. “I’m fine sweetheart. Everything’s okay.”

Jonathan buried his face into Joyce’s shoulder and began to cry.

Lonnie rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You see what comes from babying him Joyce?” He pointed a finger at Jonathan. “He needs to learn how to be a man.”

“Oh? And who’s gonna show him because I sure as hell don’t see one here,” Joyce shot back.

Joyce’s eyes widened in fear when Lonnie charged towards her and she all but dropped Jonathan on the floor before Lonnie could hit him too. Lonnie pushed Joyce against the wall, his hands wrapping around her throat.

Joyce let out a strangled cry as Jonathan watched in horror, silent tears streaming down his cheek.

“You dumb bitch,” Lonnie seethed.

Joyce grabbed at his hands, trying but failing to pull him off her as he squeezed tightly.

“As a woman you need to learn some respect,” he said menacingly, and Joyce fell to the ground, her knees weak. Lonnie fell with her, his hands still tightly around her neck. Joyce grabbed for a shard of glass from the floor and cut Lonnie’s hand with it, drawing blood.

He cried out and let go of her neck to clutch at his hand. “Bitch!” he spat.

Joyce dropped to the floor on her hands and knees and gasped for air. She could hear Lonnie leaving, slamming the door with a bang. Then she felt sweaty little hands on her forearm.

She coughed violently then swallowed noisily.

“Jonathan,” she gasped, rubbing her throat. “Go get a cold washcloth.”

Jonathan nodded and sprinted into the bathroom. Joyce stood up slowly and moved to the couch while still coughing. Jonathan came back, handing the cloth to her. She put it to her throat in the hopes of soothing the bruises that were already beginning to form.

Jonathan sat down next to her and put his hands on her stomach. “Is the baby hurt?” he asked. His eyebrows furrowing in concern.

Joyce rubbed his hands over her stomach and shook her head. “No. The baby’s okay. I just felt it move.”

“Are you hurt, Mommy?” he asked.

Joyce nodded and smiled sadly. “Yes, baby, Mommy is hurt. But I’ll be fine in the morning, okay?” she said, bending to kiss his hair.

Jonathan nodded stoically.

Joyce swallowed hard, trying not to cry. He was always so serious. Joyce felt guilty over everything she and Lonnie had made him endure at just four years old. And to think, they were bringing another child into this mess soon.

Joyce sighed. “I think you should head back to bed now, okay? Tomorrow you have to get up early for school.”

“Okay Mommy.”

Joyce placed the washcloth across the arm of the sofa and took Jonathan’s hand to take him back to his room.

Having tucked him in again, Joyce sat down at the dining table, reaching for a cigarette and lighting one. The smoke was probably bad for her still sore throat, but she needed the nicotine to help calm herself down. 

That fight had been particularly bad. Yesterday, Lonnie came home ranting and raving about how he was fired from his job for no reason. Joyce had been shocked and worried over how they were going to make it work on one income, and soon no income. She was still working, but in a few months, she was going on maternity leave.

The next day, she secretly called Lonnie’s boss to unashamedly beg him to take Lonnie back, but she got his secretary, Lydia, instead. Lydia explained to her that the reason Lonnie was fired was because his boss caught Lonnie in bed with his wife. Apparently, the whole factory knew about this and Joyce was the last person to find out.

She wasn’t surprised he was sleeping around. This she had known for a while now. But she was shocked to know that this was the reason he got fired. That Lonnie would jeopardize the well-being of their family, including their unborn child, all for another man’s wife. She had been furious and confronted him when he came home from his job hunt. Their conversation led to tonight’s events.

Joyce put her head in her hands as she thought about what to do if Lonnie couldn’t find a job. She couldn’t leave him, no matter how much she wanted to.

She just couldn’t raise two babies on her own, and she knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t pay child support if she left. Also, though she was ashamed to admit it, even to herself, she still cared about what people in this godforsaken town thought of her and her children.

People could say about her what they liked, she was pretty sure the whole town knew he was cheating on her, but she wouldn’t let them say that her children didn’t have a father. She wouldn’t let them look at her children with the same mixture of pity and disapproval they looked at her with.

Joyce closed her eyes and wished, not for the first time, that she had had the foresight to see Lonnie for who he really was when she was dating him. She could’ve avoided all this. But then it was really his fault for being such an asshole.

She resented him for always putting her and Jonathan, and now the baby, at risk. For always putting them before his needs. Everything in the damn house revolved around him and he was too drunk and too selfish to see otherwise.

Had Lonnie been a good father, she might’ve forgiven him. But he wasn’t. Lonnie didn’t even love Jonathan, and he sure as hell didn’t like him. He never spent time with him, never took an interest in Jonathan’s interests, never tucked him into bed at night.

And Jonathan, to put it nicely, was afraid of Lonnie. He was only four, nearly five, and Joyce was sure he didn’t know what hate was yet, but Jonathan’s hate for Lonnie was something she wouldn’t bet against in the future. 

She tried to remember a time when she felt happy with Lonnie, and safe with him. She couldn’t. Her mind was just…. blank. When was the last time she was happy and safe at all? She couldn’t think of a particular moment, but a familiar face sprang to her mind. Hopper.

Only when she was with Hopper did she feel truly happy and safe. She had not felt that way for over a decade then. Since high school Joyce and Hopper when they were stupid, reckless kids. Since high school when Hopper would insist on giving her a ride to and from school each day, even when she was dating Lonnie. Since high school when Hopper would lean against her locker, towering over her in height, but never making her feel small. Since high school when Hopper’s mere presence made her feel warm and light.

She had seen him around town of course. On more than one occasion Joyce had to go down to the station and bail Lonnie out for various offences. Hopper had been there for some of them. He never said anything to her beyond what was needed to process the bail, but she did catch him staring at her intently a couple times. Those stares always made her uneasy. They were so intense; it was like he was trying to see into her soul.

He had changed. His personality more serious, more burdened with the memories of war. But she still couldn’t help but wonder if he ever thought about her and their complicated past. Lately, she had been thinking about them more and more, as she and Lonnie had been fighting more often.

She had no one to talk to besides Jonathan and it was beginning to take a toll on her emotionally and mentally. Everyone in town had ostracized her besides Karen Wheeler. But she couldn’t talk to Karen the same way as with Hopper.

With Karen, she had to tread lightly, because Karen was still not broken, whereas she and Hopper were. Hopper’s time in the war and her own marriage had broken them into pieces they were unable to fit together again.

Normally she wouldn’t dare, but tonight’s fight had set her over the edge, and she realized that she wanted to talk to Hopper. Not about the fight, but about almost anything else. She wanted to hear his voice and feel the sense of calm it gave her.

Before she lost her nerve, she grabbed her Yellow Pages and found Hopper’s number. She dialed it. She let it ring six times before slamming down the phone. He wasn’t home. She laughed bitterly and retreated to her bedroom, locking the door in case Lonnie came back.

***

Hopper was drunk. Not too drunk so that he was incoherent, but slightly more than buzzed. It was nice.

“Another,” Hopper said, sliding the glass to the bartender. His shot glass was promptly filled with whiskey and returned to him.

Hopper put the glass to his lips and downed another shot. He set the glass down with a bang on the counter. He began tracing patterns in the whisky that overflowed onto the counter.

He was feeling upset tonight, but he didn’t know exactly over what. There were too many things and they were all brewing together into a storm that he couldn’t pull himself out of. His thoughts consumed him, and he found himself pushing them further down, rather than releasing them.

Hopper scoffed to himself. Who could he possibly talk to? Who in this town would take him seriously? Him, the once cocky bastard to would brag to anyone who would listen about how he was going to leave Hawkins one day and never return. Yet here he was.

Hopper was momentarily distracted from his thoughts when someone kicked open the door to the pub, nearly hitting the table on the other side.

“Hey! Asshole!” the bartender yelled.

“Oh, fuck off Mel,” Lonnie Byers replied. He sat down at the other end of the bar, opposite from Hopper. “Vodka rocks,” he said to Mel.

Mel shook his head and crossed his arms. “I need to see the cash first Byers.”

Lonnie grumbled and pulled out a few bills from his pocket, throwing them at Mel. “Here.”

Mel glared at him then shuffled away to make him the drink.

Hopper’s hands balled into fists, his body’s natural reaction to seeing Lonnie Byers. He turned his body, trying to ignore him. He couldn’t stand to see him waste his money on booze while his pregnant wife was still working and most likely doing everything else that needed to get done.

He glanced at the door, half expecting Joyce to come tumbling in as she had last week to drag Lonnie home by the collar of his shirt. Hopper remembered her hissing furiously at Lonnie to hurry the fuck up because Jonathan was asleep in the car and she didn’t want to wake him. She didn’t see Hopper in the back of the pub, gripping the door frame he was leaning on to keep himself in place, his knuckles turning white. He knew Joyce wouldn’t appreciate his help with Lonnie unless it was absolutely and unavoidably needed, and he didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire.

Tonight though, he wished she would come in again, but not for Lonnie, for him. He knew that it was Joyce he wanted to talk to. Only she would understand him without him having to explain everything.

Their shared history and their ability to sense one another and silently communicate was what he needed at that moment. Someone who would compliment him, not crowd him. Only Joyce would understand what it was to be an outcast, to be part of things yet feel at a distance from them. To live in Hawkins but to watch from the sidelines.

He suddenly wanted to ask her if she ever thought about him. About them. 

He glanced over at Lonnie again, feeling hatred towards the man, who clearly didn’t appreciate the woman he married. Joyce deserved to be loved, not overlooked.

Hopper then noticed a large and fresh cut on Lonnie’s hand, as the latter downed the last of his drink. Hopper’s eyes narrowed and his feet carried him across the bar unconsciously. He plopped down on the empty stool beside Lonnie.

Hopper nodded at Lonnie’s cut. “What happened to your hand Byers?” he asked.

Lonnie scoffed. “What do you care?”

Hopper tilted his head. “Looks pretty bad.”

“Yeah well, it’s not. Leave me the fuck alone.” Lonnie waved at Mel and slid the glass to him.

Mel shook his head at him. “Sorry Byers. That’s all the cash covered.”

Lonnie mumbled something incoherent and dug through his pockets in the hopes of finding more cash.

“Aww what’s wrong?” Hopper sneered. “Didn’t steal enough cash from Joyce?” Hopper couldn’t help but bait Lonnie.

He was itching for another fight with him. Too many times had he stood by and watched Joyce bail Lonnie out of another mess, literally. He was picking a fight not so much for her sake as for his. He was going to lose it if he couldn’t beat Lonnie’s ass at least once more for being a monster.

At the mention of his wife’s name, Lonnie’s eyes darkened in anger. “The fuck Hopper? I work for my money and how I spend it is my business.”

“Hmm last I heard; your ass was fired. What happened? You and Joyce got into it and she cut you before you could hit her?” Hopper goaded, his neck getting red and his face growing hot as he tried to ignore the image that sprang forth as he said it.

Lonnie raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “So, what if I did?” he said, and smiled.

Hopper turned his head away, disgusted at Lonnie. He dug his nails into the wooden counter.

Hopper chuckled lightly once before standing up and punching Lonnie in the nose before he could react. Lonnie fell sideways off his stool and landed on the ground. He lay there clutching his nose.

Hopper could see the stream of red coming from beneath Lonnie’s hands. Lonnie cried out as the remaining men in the pub gathered around them.

“Coward,” Hopper grunted before bending to grab Lonnie by the head and slamming his face into the floor.

Lonnie cried out again and Hopper turned to leave. He could hear Lonnie calling his name as he left.

He drove quickly and arrived at the little bungalow. He knocked softly on the door. Moments later, the door swung open, revealing Joyce.

“Hopper?” she asked, confused.

“Joyce.”

CHAPTER 9

Summary: Extended scene. Joyce has a panic attack after Bob’s death and Hopper comforts her.

Song Inspiration: Shelter – Birdy

Joyce pulled the blanket back around her as it slipped from her shoulders. She glanced at Hopper sitting across from her on the floor. He hadn’t moved or said a word since he came in five minutes ago. He just sat there staring off into the distance while she sat crying on the edge of the bed.

Her thoughts returned to the scene that replayed like a loop in her head. Bob. His expression of relief and pure joy at seeing her alive and unharmed, suddenly changing to fear as those monsters tore into him. Her screams. Hopper’s gun. Hopper yelling. Hopper pulling her away. Bob laid on the floor covered in blood. Dead.

It was her fault that he was dead. She had roped him into this. He wanted to help because he loved her. Her and her boys. And yet, she did not have the courage to admit to herself at the time that she didn’t love him, no matter how much she tried to. She took advantage of his kindness and love. She was dishonest and it should have been her in his place instead.

Joyce’s vision suddenly tunneled and her heart began pounding at an alarming rate. Her hands were clammy, and she began to tremble violently. She gripped the mattress tightly. She realized from experience that she was having a panic attack.

Suddenly, Hopper was at her side, kneeling in front of her. He took her hands and gripped them tightly in his own.

“Joyce,” he said, his voice warm and calm. “Listen to my voice. Look at me, okay?”

After a moment, she did. Her breaths were coming in quick little puffs and her stomach started to cramp.

She looked into Hopper’s eyes in desperation.

“Joyce… breathe slowly with me. In…out….in…. out.” Hopper breathed with her. “It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re safe,” he said gently between breaths.

She was still shaking, her heart still pounding, and her breaths short. Hopper’s eyebrows furrowed in concern as he willed himself not to panic too.

“Can you focus on me Joyce? Close your eyes and just focus on me okay?”

She tried to nod but her neck felt stiff. She instead closed her eyes so that he would know she understood.

“Good, okay. Keep breathing with me.” Hopper took a few more deep breaths with Joyce before continuing. “Focus on my voice.”

Joyce’s breathing slowed but she was still trembling.

“I remember…the first time I talked to you. You were wearing green overalls,” Hopper said softly.

Joyce’s lips parted in surprise as she leaned forward to listen.

“Me and some boys were playing baseball. You marched over and insisted on having a turn at bat. Finn Hades laughed at you and told you girls couldn’t play. You shoved him and called him a liar.”

Joyce stopped shaking and she was no longer sweating. The worst of her attack was over, but she kept her eyes closed, wanting to hear the rest of Hopper’s story.

“You got a bat and waited your turn. I was pitching and I remember when you stepped up, I thought of giving you an easy hit. As if you could read my mind, you called out from across the field, “Jimmy Hopper, I’ll know if you throw me an easy one!””

Joyce’s lips twitched. Her hands no longer limp. She gripped back Hopper’s hands.

Hopper smiled. He went on. “I threw you the ball and you hit it. You started running as I watched Finn’s mouth drop in shock. You didn’t make it back to home, someone caught it before you could. You never were a great runner.”

Joyce scoffed.

“I came up to you after the bell rang and I stuck my hand out. I said, “Good game.”’ You said it wasn’t, because you didn’t make it to home in time. I said it didn’t matter because you made Finn look like a jackass. You laughed loudly, and afterschool, you sat with me and Benny and we laughed together about it.”

“I knew then that you were brave. Not because you were the only girl to play baseball with boys. But because you didn’t take shit from anyone. You didn’t let Finn Hades intimidate you, you never doubted yourself for a minute Joyce.”

Her eyes opened and her brown ones met soft blue ones. He looked at her with an earnest expression.

“You’re brave Joyce,” he said again. “You’re strong and I know you can get through this. And,” he swallowed. He was unsure of how to say this without sounding like a complete asshole who was making a move on her after Bob just died.

“And…I want to be there for you. For you and the boys. If you want. Whatever you need. I’ll be there. I know I’ve said some things in the past, done some things, some fucked up things, but I need you to know that I mean this with all my heart.”

He did mean them. He knew that he would do anything for Joyce. That no matter how much they yelled at each other; he would always come back to her. No matter how their futures played out, they were bound. She was home.

Sometimes the intensity of his devotion to her even took him by surprise. He had never felt this way with anyone, not with Diane and certainly not with the other nameless faces he had taken to bed. Now he felt like he had crossed an invisible line by pouring out his heart to her in that moment. It left him vulnerable and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t afraid.

Joyce took a deep breath, processing the things he was saying. She looked down at their entwined hands.

“Okay,” she murmured after a moment.

Hopper shoulders relaxed, no longer tense in anticipation of her reaction to his words. He nodded. “Okay,” he whispered. The were silent for a minute. The air around them calming.

He nodded towards the door. “I should check on the kids.”

Joyce nodded. “I’ll come out soon.”

Hopper shook his head. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Joyce smiled softly and nodded. Hopper let go of her hands. Joyce couldn’t ignore her heart clenching when he stood up to leave. Hopper left the room, closing the door gently behind him. She frowned and sighed. What a mess this was.

CHAPTER 10

Summary: Hopper and Joyce are making out in his office when Callahan comes in.

Song Inspiration: Ring Of Fire – Johnny Cash

Joyce and Hopper pulled apart at the sound of a knock on the door.

“Quick, hide!” Hopper hissed.

“Hide? Where the fuck – ”

“Under here,” Hopper said, pushing her under his desk.

Joyce sighed and crawled under. She sat cross legged while Hopper sat down in his chair.

Joyce had come by early in the morning to bring him some paperwork he thought they’d lost in the move. They had just gotten back to Hawkins two weeks ago and Hopper returned to his position as Chief one week after. Joyce meant to leave after giving the papers to Hopper, but she was tempted by Hopper’s wandering hands and the quietness of the station in the early hours of the morning. Soon Hopper’s door was closed, and Joyce was sprawled out on his desk.

Now she and Hopper were going to be in deep shit if someone found out what they had just been doing. Joyce bit her lip nervously as she struggled beneath the desk to listen to the muffled conversation.

Hopper cleared his throat and ran a hand through his beard. “Come in,” he called, his usual baritone coming out a little squeaky.

Callahan opened the door and came into Hopper’s office carrying a tattered notebook. “Morning Chief. I was on duty last night and didn’t get to writing my full report yet, so I thought I’d just come in here and tell you if you got a minute?”

Hopper nodded once. “Make it quick,” he said and gestured to the tall stack of papers on his desk he had yet to read.

“Sure thing.” Callahan flipped though his notes and recited in a steady monotone.

Joyce rolled her eyes, bored. They were mostly mundane things. She wanted to leave and was annoyed at Hopper for shoving her under the desk.

Her eyes travelled to a stray chip on the ground next to her and she sighed quietly. Hopper had promised her he would lay off the cholesterol like the doctor told him to.

Callahan suddenly gasped. “Oh, by the way Chief, I ran into a friend of yours last night on patrol. She was passing through and got a flat tire. I gave her a lift and she asked about you. Said her name was Amanda Sheffield?”

Hopper merely shrugged. “I don’t know an Amanda.”

Callahan paused, confused. “Oh yeah, I forgot, she said to say “railway tracks” when I told you. That ring a bell?”

Hopper turned red and looked away, shifting in his seat a little. “Uhh, yeah, okay. Yeah, I remember now. Alright Callahan what else you got in your report?”

“She another lady friend Chief?” Callahan said. He tried to wink but ended up looking like he had gotten something caught in his eye instead.

Hopper made a noncommittal noise and glared at him, indicating that Callahan should move on.

Joyce’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Railway tracks? What did Hopper and this Amanda do on the tracks? Joyce grew angrier as her mind presented her with images she tried to blink away. She grabbed Hopper’s leg as he let out a yelp he tried to disguise as a cough.

Callahan stopped. “You okay Chief?”

“Fine,” Hopper mumbled.

Callahan went back to his report. Joyce’s hands stilled and Hopper let out a breath of relief.

A minute later, Hopper jerked violently in his seat as Joyce’s hand began moving slowly over something that was definitely not his leg. Hopper dug his nails into the edge of his desk, unable to stop her.

“Uh Chief, you sure you okay?” Callahan was looking at him skeptically.

Hopper closed his eyes. “Just hurry up and finish the damn report and leave me in peace okay?” he said through gritted teeth.

Hopper moved the tall stack of papers on his desk in front of him. He knew Callahan couldn’t see from where he was standing, but he had to make sure.

Hopper stopped listening to Callahan, instead distracted by Joyce’s touch. She always had this effect on him, even since they were teenagers. She could draw him to her in an instant.

Every time she would talk to him, every time she would look at him, every time she would touch him, it would consume him, yet it was never enough. He wanted more and more, and he was left feeling insatiable. His love for her, both physical and emotional would consume him until it was all he thought about.

“So, what do you want me to do?” Callahan asked.

Hopper’s attention snapped back to Callahan. “About what?”

“Mr. Lindale’s tree? Should we put in a work order to chop it down?”

Hopper groaned, as Joyce’s hands went to undo the button of his pants. He knew if she succeeded, he would be a goner. “Yeah fine Callahan. Put the damn order in. Now get out of my office, please!”

Callahan grumbled to himself, used to, but still annoyed by Hopper’s bad attitude in the mornings. He slammed the door behind him.

Hopper grabbed Joyce’s hands and helped her out from the desk. She giggled as Hopper pulled her into his lap.

“What was that?” he asked, trying to sound angry, but sounding more amused if anything.

Joyce grinned. “Oh, you know.” She shrugged. “I was bored.”

“So, you decided to punish me?” Hopper asked, putting his lips to her throat.

Joyce laughed, throwing her head back. “Well I was interested to hear about, what was her name? Amanda?”

Hopper froze. He looked at her. “Joyce that was a long time ago. Before me and you I swear, she –”

Joyce interrupted him with a kiss. “It’s okay Hop. I believe you. But I have one question.”

“What?” Hopper whispered.

“What does “railway tracks” mean?”

Hopper smiled. “Well maybe if you’re lucky you’ll find out soon.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively in an attempt to make Joyce swoon.

She laughed instead and patted his cheek affectionately. “If you’re going to look at me like that I’d rather not find out.”

Hopper rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha,” he said dryly.

Joyce ran her hand through Hopper’s hair. “But seriously Hop. How am I ever gonna get out of here?”

CHAPTER 11

Summary: El gets in trouble and Hopper yells at her. El points out his short fuse and Joyce teaches him how to be a better parent.

Song Inspiration: Issues – Julia Michaels

“Hop calm down the kids are on their way,” Joyce said. She leaned against the kitchen counter with a smoke in her hand watching Hopper pace the living room.

“Christ Joyce, don’t tell me to calm down. Don’t you remember what you felt like when Will was missing?” Hopper seethed.

Joyce glared at him. “El isn’t missing, she’s with Will and Mike.”

Hopper stopped pacing and stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed. “Oh, that’s comforting. I guess I shouldn’t have panicked when I came home earlier to find her gone?”

Joyce softened. She knew too well what that feeling was like; to find that your child was gone, and you had no idea where they were. “Hop,” she said, trying to keep her tone calm. “You can’t keep her locked in this cabin forever. She’s growing up. She wants to be normal. Be with her friends.”

Hopper sighed, frustrated. “Yeah well that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop trying to protect her for as long as I can. I’m doing this for her own good,” he said stubbornly.

Joyce said nothing and took a drag of her cigarette. It was quiet for a moment as Hopper sat down at the cabin’s dining table and pinched the bridge of his nose. From where she was standing, she could see the veins in Hopper’s neck bulging and she knew the kids were in for Hopper’s wrath.

Suddenly, there were sounds of heavy footsteps on the porch and the door swung open, El and Will stumbling in over one another.

“Well it’s about time,” Hopper said, standing up so fast he knocked over the chair.

“Hop,” Joyce warned, stubbing out her cigarette quickly and moving to stand beside Hopper.

El took a step forward and held up her hands. “It’s not Will’s fault. He said you would be mad. I didn’t listen. Don’t yell at him. It’s my fault.”

Will opened his mouth to say something but Hopper spoke before he could.

“You’re damn right it’s your fault!” Hopper yelled.

Joyce closed her eyes. “Will? Go to El’s room please.”

“But Mom – ”

Joyce gave Will a look and mouthed “Go”. Will reluctantly did as told and shut the door quietly behind him.

Joyce could see El annoyed at her father’s anger, as the girl clenched her fists and pursed her lips. “Look I’m sorry okay?”

“Oh, you’re sorry? Did you hear that Joyce? She’s sorry,” Hopper said, turning to Joyce.

Joyce simply stared at him, not wanting to say anything to egg him on.

“You’re overreacting,” El said bluntly.

“Overreacting?” Hopper enunciated. “Did Wheeler teach you that word? Like he taught you it was okay to sneak out? Where is he? Didn’t want to face the consequences?” Hopper glared at El.

El ignored the last part. “We were just at the arcade! Mike, I mean the party, wanted to show me some games. I never leave the cabin and I’m sick of it!”

“You’re sick of it?” Hopper asked incredulously. “You’re sick of me trying to keep you, trying to keep us, all of us, safe? Do you know what would happen if anyone found out who you really were? You would go back to the lab. You would never see your friends again, is that what you want?”

El looked away, blinking back tears. Hearing Hopper entertain the possibility of her going back to the lab and being alone again hit a nerve. Her sadness over the thought lasted for a few seconds before she grew angry again.

“Maybe that’s what you want! To keep me all to yourself like Papa!” El screamed.

Joyce tried to grab Hopper’s arm to keep him calm, but he pulled away from her reach. “Kid, if that’s what you think then you’ve got it seriously twisted,” Hopper said, shaking his head.

El scoffed.

Hopper ran a hand through his hair. “Okay look here’s what’s gonna happen, your little stunt bought you two weeks. Grounded, no TV, no friends, no phone, no void. If I catch you, I add an extra week.”

El gasped. “But Mike – ”

“I don’t care about Mike!” Hopper spat. “I’m your parent and what I say goes as long as you’re under my roof!”

El let out a frustrated groan. She threw her hands up in the air. “You never listen to anyone. You always try to control everything and everyone. Only Joyce can make you listen!”

Joyce’s mouth dropped open, the shock on her face matching Hopper’s.

Hopper recovered first. “You cannot speak – ”

“Hopper,” Joyce said forcefully. She shook her head slightly when he glanced at her.

Hopper sighed deeply. “Go to your room El.”

She didn’t need to be told twice. El stomped off. Her bedroom door was barely closed before she started ranting to Will about Hopper.

Hopper walked to the couch and sat down, lighting a cigarette. He took a long drag before throwing his lighter onto the table angrily. Joyce joined him, regarding him carefully.

“What?” he said after a minute.

“Nothing,” she said softly.

“You think I’m being too hard on her?” Hopper said, guessing correctly at what she was thinking. “Now you’re going to gang up on me too?”

Joyce touched Hopper’s arm lightly. “No one is ganging up on you Hop.”

Hopper turned to her, his voice calmer as he spoke. “Tell me then. Help me fix this. Please?”

Joyce tilted her head to the side and smiled softly. “You’re both so similar you know. You’re both stubborn, both willing to put yourselves first to defend those you care about. Both impatient. Yes, she was wrong for sneaking out, but you need to be patient with her. She’s going to make mistakes and when she does, you need to give her space to find her own way out if she can.”

“You need to explain to her why you acted the way you did. Ask her to consider your perspective and picture yourself in hers,” Joyce continued.

“I can’t Joyce. I’ll just push her away more. I can’t do it without losing my temper. I’ll lose her for good.”

Joyce took Hopper’s hand. “Lose her? What? To Mike? Is that what you’re worried about?”

Hopper laughed nervously, taking another drag. Joyce caught his eye and he crumbled under her gaze. He scrubbed his face with his free hand. “God yes. Can you believe I’m jealous of a teenager? It’s just… she’s growing up so fast and I can’t stop it you know? Next year, she’ll be starting school and I’m, I’m probably never gonna see her at home. I just wanted to spend as much time as I can with her before…all of that. I want her to be a kid. I want to protect her. I want her to need me.”

Joyce listened carefully, her heart breaking at how vulnerable he was in that moment. Rarely did Hop speak as freely as he just did, instead choosing to let his tall, imposing stature and booming voice keep others away.

“Hop, you’re not going to lose her. She’s your daughter and you’re her father,” Hopper looked down at her and opened his mouth to retort. Joyce let go of his hand and placed a finger on his lips before continuing. “She’s always going to need you no matter how old she gets. She loves you like you love her. No matter what. There’s nothing stronger than unconditional love.”

“Love?” Hopper croaked.

Joyce laughed softly at his surprised expression. “Yes Hop. You can only feel the way you and she are feeling now about someone you really care about.”

Hopper was silent, his eyes lost in thought.

“You don’t believe me; you need to hear her say it,” Joyce said.

Hopper look down at Joyce and grimaced. She was always too good at reading his thoughts in moments like these.

Hopper nodded. Joyce smiled. “Tell her Hop. Tell her why you reacted the way you did. Tell her the truth and she’ll do the same. Okay?”

“Sure,” Hopper said, unconvinced.

Joyce sighed softly. “I think it’s time me and Will left,” she said, getting up from the couch.

“You’re not staying for dinner?” Hop asked, disappointed.

“No,” she said gently. “You should be with El tonight.”

“Yeah, okay.” He reached out and took her hand, sitting on the edge of the couch and tilting his head up to look at her. With her standing, they were finally at the same eye level. 

“Joyce…” he began, trying to find the words to express how he felt about her. He couldn’t, not yet. “Umm, thanks. I’m, I’m grateful for your help.” And he was. Joyce’s words washing over him like relief, pushing some of his doubt away.

“Of course, Hop. You know I’m always here.” And she was. Hopper had been there for her when Will was missing.

Had believed her when everyone else said she was crazy and had brought her son back to life and back to her. She was more than happy now to do anything she could to help him if he needed her. Especially with El, whom Will wouldn’t be here without.

Joyce let go of Hopper’s hand. “I’ll go get Will,” she said softly.

Hopper sank back into the couch. Even though it was not a particularly nice one, Hopper wanted to remember this moment forever. In this moment, Hopper would remember Joyce telling him that he was loved.

That despite all his past, he was still capable of being loved. He couldn’t believe that his entire being yearned to be loved. Hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear someone confirm this out loud. It was both beautiful and terrifying to hear. And he pleaded with anyone who was listening that he would never be parted from the people who loved him and who he loved in return.

CHAPTER 12

Summary: Hopper thinks about Joyce during a one-night stand. Obviously, things don’t end up well.

Song Inspiration: I Wish I Was – Maren Morris

Hopper left the bar that night with a woman named Evelyn, her last name he didn’t care enough to ask for. She worked at the post office in town, Hopper had flirted with her once or twice before when he went in there for stamps.

She had come up to him in the bar and they talked over his whisky and her gin and tonic. She then asked if he would take her home.

They walked arm in arm towards his car. When they pulled out into the road, Hopper turned the radio on, the music relieving the necessity of small talk in the car. Hopper stared at the road intently.

“Is everything alright?” Evelyn asked, mistaking his silence for irritation.

“Er, yeah. Sorry,” Hopper mumbled.

He felt her hand creep up his thigh. “It’s alright,” she said, batting her eyes.

Hopper smiled and stepped on the gas pedal.

***

Hopper waited until Evelyn was snoring softly next to him before he got out of bed to go home. He put on his underwear and shirt before digging a cigarette and lighter from his shirt pocket to have a smoke. As he sat in the darkness, it was almost as if he was alone.

Hopper sighed and put out his cigarette. He got up and walked to the bathroom down the hall. As he was washing his face with water, he reached for a hand towel on the rack but knocked over something on the shelf above the sink in the process.

He bent to pick it up and saw that it was a bottle of perfume. The lid came off and as he was putting it on, the scent of the perfume reminded him of something familiar.

He read the label to see if it would jog his memory. Where had he smelled it before? Then he knew. The perfume was the same one Joyce wore. He could smell it on her the other day when she came to tell him about Will’s disappearance.

He remembered clearly how his body reacted to her visible distress when he first saw her. How his attention became zoned in on her and though he didn’t yet know what was wrong, he wanted to go over to her, wrap her in his arms, and tell her it would be all right, just as he had when they were kids. And though they were no longer kids, losing the recklessness and fervour time so gracefully stole from them, he still cared for her.

As if it were on fire, Hopper set the bottle down on the counter with a clatter. He looked into the mirror and saw the reflection of a man he no longer recognized. The man’s eyes were hollow and empty looking, conveying indifference and bitterness to those who didn’t look long enough to see the despair behind them.

He thought about how he must seem to others. He could tell very few people wanted to be around him for a long time.

If his personality and stature weren’t enough to scare people off, he was also mediocre (at best) at his job as Chief. He was unreliable and he certainly wasn’t the big hero cop some made him out to be when he first arrived from New York. People were beginning to lose their patience with him.

Until Will’s disappearance that is. Within the last few days the atmosphere in the station changed as Hopper and his deputies worked on finding Will. There was suddenly a sense of something to do. Something that could change the lives of people they knew forever. Their actions became united in a common goal: to find Will Byers and bring him home.

Though Hopper didn’t even know the kid, Will Byers had brought back a sense of purpose to his life and he swore to himself that he would take this responsibility seriously and do whatever was in his power to make sure he was safe.

Hopper returned to the bedroom and groped around for his pants. As he found them, his belt hit the floor loudly, waking up Evelyn.

“Jim?” she said groggily.

Hopper closed his eyes and sighed. He had been hoping to sneak out without her noticing.

“I was just uh, leaving. I need to get up early tomorrow,” Hopper lied.

“Oh,” she said, watching him put on his pants and shoes.

He walked to the bed and gave her a chaste kiss on her forehead.

Evelyn scoffed and pulled away. “I should’ve known better,” she said, almost as if it was to herself.

“What?” Hopper asked.

Evelyn gestured towards him, waving her hand in a circular motion. “This. You leaving.”

Hopper scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Er, we never discussed me staying. I thought this was a one-time thing?”

Evelyn laughed. “Of course. You know I heard stories about you from people in town. You have quite the reputation. Your known for running out on your, what did they call it? Oh yeah, “conquests”.”

Hopper felt his face grow hot in embarrassment as she spoke.

“But I thought no,” Evelyn continued. “Maybe it’d be different for me and him. We could make a nice couple, go on dates, have a real relationship. Stupid, right?”

Hopper regarded her and shrugged. “Evelyn, I’m not who you’re looking for.” And he meant every word. He was too damaged, too broken, too much of a jinx to love another person and to have another person love him.

This was not the first time a woman called him out on his behaviour, and he wished he could change, wished he could be the man they wanted or expected him to be, but he couldn’t. Because as always, his pain overruled his desires and his hope for himself.

“What’s wrong with you?” Evelyn continued. “Why do you think you can treat women they way you do? Is this fun for you?”

Hopper said nothing and continued to stare at her.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Evelyn asked.

Hopper nodded. “Yeah. We done here?”

Evelyn’s lips tightened in anger. “Get out of my apartment.”

“Sure thing.” Hopper said, gathering the rest of his stuff and practically running out.

By now, he was used to disappointing women. Used to the daggers he got from them when he ran into them. He couldn’t blame them, if it were him, he would also hate himself.

Hopper pulled out of her driveway and headed home. When Hopper drove by a small bungalow on a street, he became familiar with over the last week, his foot subconsciously pressed the brakes so that the car slowed but did not stop. As he craned his neck, he could make out the silhouette of a woman standing by the window, illuminated by the light of the kitchen.

CHAPTER 13

Summary: Teenage Joyce and Hopper having fun at Joyce’s after school job at Benny’s.

Song Inspiration: Can I Be Him – James Arthur

Hopper opened the door to the diner, expecting to see Benny or Joyce at the counter. The diner had just closed, and Hopper could see that the tables still needed to be wiped down. He was picking Joyce up from her shift and was supposed to drive her home, but it looked like she would be awhile.

Suddenly Hopper heard someone singing in the kitchen. He walked behind the counter to the kitchen and saw that it was Joyce. She clearly didn’t see him as she was focused on doing the dishes. She was singing along to a song on the radio and she sounded amazing. 

He stood there in awe listening to her sing for a good minute. His knees felt weak, like he had to sit down or something and his heart was racing with excitement. It was rare to hear her sing these days, as stress and responsibilities erased those carefree moments, they once took for granted.

Joyce jumped when she saw Hopper and dropped the dish she was washing loudly into the sink.

“Jesus Hop!” she scolded.

Hopper laughed. “Sorry. Joyce, that was – ”

Joyce turned red, embarrassed. “Oh God Hop, you heard that?” She promptly took off her gloves and turned down the radio on the shelf.

“Joyce…shit I’ll never get over your voice!” Hopper praised, his eyes following her as she moved back to the sink.

“It’s nothing Hop. Really, I was just being dumb.”

Hopper frowned. “No, you weren’t. I don’t know why you don’t become a professional. You wanted to be when we were kids.”

Joyce laughed. “Hop, please. In what world could I? You need money to go to school for it. Get the lessons or whatever. Even if I work 24 hours here, I wouldn’t be able to afford it.”

Hopper opened his mouth to argue with her, but Joyce sighed. “Drop it Hop, it isn’t gonna happen. Now stop being silly and come and help me take out the trash.”

Hopper sighed, not wanting to argue with her about the singing. They already fought enough about her and Lonnie dating. He was worried their bickering would jeopardize their friendship one day, and he didn’t know what he would do if Joyce wasn’t in his life anymore.

“Where’s Benny?” Hopper asked, tying up the garbage bags on the floor.

“Left early. His grandma needed a ride to the doctor’s,” Joyce said, finishing up with the dishes.

Hopper grunted and took the bags outside to the dumpster at the back of the diner.

When he came back in, he saw that Joyce had disappeared and there was a slice of pumpkin pie on the kitchen counter.

“I saved you a piece!” Joyce called from the dining area.

Hopper grinned, tucking in to the pie and finishing in 30 seconds.

“Thanks,” Hopper said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as Joyce came back into the kitchen.

She smiled. “Sure.” She grabbed a broom from the supply closet when Hopper snatched it away from her. “Hey!” she yelled.

He used his height to his advantage and held the broom high above her head where she couldn’t reach it. “I got it okay Joyce. You go and deal with the till.”

Joyce narrowed her eyes. “Alright,” she said reluctantly. “Thanks.”

They were comfortably silent while Joyce counted the cash and Hopper swept the dining area. They finished and Hopper waited outside while Joyce got her stuff. He leaned against his car, smoking a cigarette.

Joyce came out a few minutes later and plucked the cigarette from his lips, putting it to her own and taking a long drag. She coughed violently as she forgot it was unfiltered.

“Serves you right for stealing,” Hopper said smiling.

Joyce rolled her eyes and got inside the GTO. Hopper did the same and pulled the car onto the road.

They drove for some time before Hopper glanced at Joyce. Hopper watched Joyce as she held the cigarette in one hand and tilted her head up at the sky with her eyes closed. Her lips were slightly parted, and her dark hair was blowing in the wind gently. _She looks so peaceful_ , Hopper thought. 

“What are you doing?” Hopper asked amused.

“Enjoying the moment. I haven’t been outside in 9 hours,” she said, her eyes still closed.

Hopper chuckled and smiled at her fondly. She stayed like that until they reached her house and she opened her eyes to throw the cigarette out the window.

Hopper regarded her warily before speaking. “So, Lonnie taking you out tonight?”

The content expression on Joyce’s face left and was replaced by a scowl. “No,” she simply said.

Hopper paused, unsure if he should prod further. When it came to Lonnie, Hopper was always hyper aware that his actions or words might be misunderstood in their meaning to Joyce.

He didn’t want to make it seem like he was nosy or jealous, even if he was. But he also cared about his best friend’s well-being too. Hopper knew that Lonnie was an asshole to almost everyone at school and he was worried that one day Lonnie might turn on Joyce and hurt her too.

“Why not?” Hopper blurted out before he could stop himself.

Joyce glared ahead of them, refusing to look at Hopper. “We’re in a fight.”

Hopper snapped his mouth shut to prevent himself from asking her further questions.

Joyce sighed. “He said I was getting fat.”

Hopper nearly forgot to breathe as he saw red. His neck and shoulders stiffened, and his skin felt prickly with anger. He seriously contemplated driving to Lonnie’s afterwards and beating the shit out of him.

“What?” Hopper choked.

Joyce nodded. “Yeah um, we were at the diner and I was eating a cheeseburger. He told me I shouldn’t be eating junk ‘cause I was “filling out”.”

She took a shaky breath. “He apologized after, but I told him to leave anyways. I haven’t talked to him since.”

Hopper clenched his fists and he felt his nails digging into his palms.

“Asshole,” he spat.

Joyce laughed bitterly and when Hopper looked over at her and saw the tears she was fighting back, he softened. He put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder gently. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

“It’s not true, okay?” he said softly. “Don’t listen to that jerkoff. He’s clearly a loser and wants to make everyone feel as bad as he does. You’re so much better than him Joyce, so much. Anyone would be lucky to be with you no matter what, he’s just too stupid to see that. I’m telling you Joyce, guys with small dicks have small brains to match.”

Joyce laughed loudly at that and patted Hopper’s chest. “Charming Hop. Thanks for that mental image.”

Hopper smirked. “No problem.” He frowned again. “Seriously though Joyce, don’t let him get to you,” he all but begged.

Joyce nodded. “I’ll try.”

Hopper sighed. She shouldn’t have to try; she shouldn’t even be in this position. He didn’t understand Lonnie. The guy was just so destructive of everything. He didn’t appreciate Joyce or anyone else for that matter.

When Hopper had been with Joyce and even to that day, he had never taken her for granted. Sure, they had their arguments, and Hopper had said some hurtful things to her, but he never bullied or belittled her.

Even as they fought, Hopper never stopped caring about her and never stopped wanting to protect her. He knew his feelings would never go away no matter how much time had passed. They had only grown stronger since the early days of their friendship.

Joyce sniffed. “Don’t tell him I told you and don’t do anything stupid Hop, I know what you’re thinking.”

Hopper chuckled. “That obvious huh?”

She smiled wryly. “Always.” She moved from his embrace to gather her stuff at her feet.

Hopper watched her. Though he couldn’t do anything to Lonnie at that moment, he promised to himself he would always be there for her, always be on her side, if she’d let him.

“I should go,” she said, tilting her head towards the house.

Hopper nodded. “Yeah. You okay?”

“I’m okay.”

Hopper smiled. “You got a shift tomorrow?”

“Yep, afterschool.”

“Alright I’ll wait outside,” he promised.

Joyce got out and shut the car door. “Thanks Hop. For everything,” she said, giving him and embarrassed look.

Hopper nodded and watched her go inside before pulling away and heading home.

CHAPTER 14

Summary: Joyce gets surgery to remove her wisdom teeth. Hopper cares for her and Joyce accidently lets something slip.

Song Inspiration: Love Her – Jonas Brothers

It had started with a fight. Joyce and Hopper took turns shouting at each other as Hopper tried to convince Joyce to have surgery on her wisdom teeth and Joyce absolutely refused. Looking back, their arguments over something so trivial were dramatic to say the least, but both parties had been so sure they were correct, neither refused to relent.

Hopper had watched Joyce in pain for weeks now. The pain of her wisdom teeth was beginning to cause migraines, which would take a toll on her, especially at work. Yet, Joyce still refused to have surgery, believing that the pain would lessen in time and claiming that surgery was too costly, as she was not covered by insurance.

She wanted to use the money for Jonathan’s college fund, which she deemed as more important. When Hopper offered to pay for her surgery, she all but growled at him.

“I’m not some charity case Hop. It’s my body and I will do what I think is best.”

From then, they fought for days on the issue, the kids doing their best to avoid the Byers’ household where most of the arguments took place. Though Will and Jonathan agreed with Hopper that she should get the surgery, no matter the cost, they didn’t dare say this aloud to their mother, whom would not hesitate to scold them for interfering.

Hopper knew she wasn’t wrong; it was absolutely her right to decide what she would do. She was a grown woman. But he was tired of seeing her in pain.

It drove him crazy how she was so selfless for others but neglected to care for herself. And because of this, he felt like he needed to step up and help her where he could.

He couldn’t help but think about how Joyce was so unlike him. Her ability to put aside her needs for those of others was something he ashamedly admitted he could not do, at least not for nearly two decades, as she had done in raising her boys.

In the end, when Joyce’s pain caused her to call in sick on several occasions and threaten her job at Melvald’s, she finally agreed to surgery. The only time she was able to arrange it was on a week day during lunch time, when the boys were at school. This was how Hopper ended up in the waiting room of the dental office, tasked with driving Joyce home.

The receptionist warned her that she would be out of it from the anesthesia and told her to arrange for someone to pick her up.

Joyce asked him while staring at his shoes, embarrassed to be admitting defeat after fighting with him earlier, but Hopper had only put his hands on Joyce’s shoulders, causing her to look up in surprise. He murmured his agreement in a soft voice and smiled, forgetting about their argument.

Hopper thumbed through a magazine on the table next to him. He glanced at the clock on the wall. _She should’ve been out by now_ , he thought.

Hopper ran his hand through this beard, worried that something went wrong. Joyce, though it shouldn’t have surprised him by now, had tossed her purse unceremoniously into Hopper’s lap and marched into the room with a quiet confidence. Hopper chuckled softly at the thought.

Suddenly there was a commotion as Joyce burst through the doors leading to the examination rooms.

“Mrs. Byers!” the dental assistant called after her. She was waving what looked like discharge papers. “Wait!”

Joyce was practically running. Had Hopper not been so surprised, he would’ve laughed at the sight of her running with an ice-pack on her head and cotton balls in her mouth that muffled the sound of her giggling. The effects of the anesthesia had clearly not yet worn off.

Hopper stood up and caught her before she could leave and took the papers from the dental assistant, apologizing and assuring her that he would see Joyce safely home.

“Hopper!” Joyce tried to say, but her voice was muffled. She smiled broadly and a trail of drool escaped from the corner of her mouth.

Hopper grinned. “Hey Joyce, you okay?”

Joyce nodded and smiled goofily. She leaned into whisper to him. “She doesn’t like me,” she said loudly, glancing at the dentist assistant.

“She does,” Hopper reassured. “She’s just…frustrated.”

Joyce made a face, then pulled at Hopper’s arm, indicating that she wanted to leave. Once outside, Joyce held on to Hopper’s arm as she walked unsteadily to his Blazer. He strapped her in securely and climbed in from the driver’s side. 

As he started driving, Joyce suddenly cried out grabbing the sides of her seat. Hopper slammed on the breaks.

“What?!” he yelled in concern.

“You’re driving too fast!” Joyce said with her eyes shut.

Hopper sighed, relieved she wasn’t crying out because of the pain. “Joyce, we were driving for 10 seconds, I wasn’t going fast. I promise I’ll take it slow once we’re out of the parking lot, okay?”

Joyce nodded. “Okay but if we die, your dead,” she said seriously.

Hopper resisted the urge to laugh and pulled the car out into the road.

“Oh no,” she groaned.

“What?” he asked carefully.

“I forgot to tell the boys how much I love them. Oh, I didn’t know I was gonna die today,” she whined.

“Joyce you’re not going to die, okay?” Hopper’s voice cracked a little at the thought. “You’re gonna see the boys afterschool.”

Joyce gasped. “School,” she said, dreamily. “I love school. Remember school Hop?”

Hopper nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “Yep.”

“I wish we could go back.” Joyce started fiddling with the ice-pack around her head.

“Don’t touch that Joyce, it’s there to help you,” Hopper said, glancing at her.

Joyce huffed and squinted into the side mirror. She gasped then began to cry.

Hopper debated stopping the car in the middle of the road but kept going, driving slower. “What’s wrong Joyce?” he said calmly.

“It looks…it looks like a…a jock-strap,” she whimpered, referring to the ice-pack on her head. “I look ugly!” she cried.

Hopper blinked. He held Joyce’s hand with the hope of calming her. “Joyce, you’re not ugly. You’re beautiful, okay? Always. I promise, once we’re home, you’ll feel better.”

Joyce sniffed and apologized.

“It’s okay,” Hopper said gently.

They reached her house and Hopper helped her out of the car.

“I got it. I got it,” she said, clutching her purse in one hand and Hopper’s hand in the other.

She dug through her purse for her keys and when she couldn’t find them, she dumped the contents of her purse on to the porch. Once she found her keys, she cried out in triumph and unlocked the door, leaving the mess on the porch. She went in and flopped on the couch comically.

Hopper smirked. He bent down to put her belongings back in her purse, concerned that if he left them, the boys would think that something happened when they got home. He tossed her bag on the kitchen counter and shut the door.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Hopper said to Joyce.

She frowned. “But I’m not tired,” she said matter-of-factly.

Hopper shook his head. “Doc’s orders.” He pulled out the discharge papers from his back pocket to emphasize the point.

Joyce rolled her eyes and stumbled to the bedroom. Hopper followed her and paused at the doorway. The last time he had been in Joyce’s bedroom had been under tragic circumstances.

“Hopper help,” Joyce called, distracting him from his memories. She was stuck and couldn’t get her sweater over her head. Hopper went over and pulled it off for her. When she began to remove the t-shirt she wore underneath, Hopper put his hands on her arms to stop her.

“Uhh, maybe we should leave that,” he said, blushing and looking away.

Joyce, oblivious to his embarrassment, merely shrugged and got into bed.

She started pulling out the cotton balls from her mouth.

“I think we should leave those too,” Hopper said and sat down at the edge of her bed.

Joyce pouted. “Please Hop? They taste bad.”

Hopper sighed. “Alright.”

Joyce grinned lay against the pillows propping her up. She reached over to take Hopper’s hand in hers. “Thanks Hop.”

Hopper smiled. “Sure.”

“Will you stay?” she asked, her big brown eyes and the genuine expression on her face making her more attractive to him.

Hopper got lost in her eyes and took a moment to admire the beauty in them. “Yes,” he whispered. He swallowed hard and pulled away abruptly.

Joyce, once again oblivious, made a sound of content. She rearranged her covers and looked up at him, smiling. “I love you Hopper,” she said.

Hopper’s eyes widened. _I love you too_ , Hopper thought. He wanted to say this out loud to her, but he thought her admission was caused by the drugs rather than her true feelings towards him. He instead hoped that his actions would speak louder than his words, if she did not already know how much he cared for her.

Hopper simply smiled and kissed her affectionately on the top of her head.

“Rest,” he said softly, then left her to do so. He began preparing dinner for her and the boys and El, the latter whom Jonathan was picking up from the cabin afterschool.

An hour later, three kids bounded through the door carrying flowers and cards.

“What’s all this?” Hopper asked.

“We got Mom flowers!” Will stated.

“I made her a card,” El said, hesitantly.

“I’m sure she’ll love it,” Hopper said, ruffling El’s hair.

“Can we go see her?” Jonathan asked.

“She’s asleep,” Hopper said, nodding towards the bedroom. “Why don’t you guys help me with dinner? She’ll be awake soon.”

They settled into a routine as Jonathan helped Hopper with the food while El and Will set the table, bickering over who got to sit next to Joyce. Jonathan watched Hopper watch them and smile. Jonathan too smiled, as he realized for the first time that they were becoming, in their albeit unconventional ways, a family.

CHAPTER 15

Summary: Joyce misses Hopper after his “death”. Jonathan comforts his Mom.

Song Inspiration: Right Here Waiting – Richard Marx

Joyce rifled through her closet, looking for an old pair of boots. She sat back on her knees as she pulled out the boxes at the front, putting them to the side after looking in each one. She was unable to find them and mumbled to herself in frustration. She pulled out another box tucked into the back of her closet. It was a brown moving box, marked with a single word: “Hopper”.

Joyce simply stared at it, then of their own accord, her hands began ripping off the tape from the top and opening the box. The scent of his possessions immediately hit her, and she made an involuntary noise as she was hit with the memories of him. It was a mix of cigarettes and his cologne.

She pulled out his Stetson lying on top and brushed off some lint from it. She looked at it as she held it in her lap.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and began to cry. Her crying started to become hysterical as images of Hopper on the platform at the lab haunted her mind. His expression when he looked at her for the last time. The explosion. Hopper’s disappearance.

Then the aftermath: El’s despair. The move. The kids’ unspoken heartbreak. Joyce losing it, as she was trying to hold it all together. Trying to care for three kids on her own.

Her crying grew louder, and she muffled the scream she couldn’t stop with her sleeves. She was shaking and rocking back and forth as waves of pain coursed through her, as strong as they were the day Hopper had died. She was grateful that no one was there in that moment for if someone saw her, they would certainly think she was unstable if they hadn’t before. 

Suddenly there was a knock on her door, and she willed herself to stop crying. Joyce wiped her face with her sleeve and licked away the salt on her lips. She put Hopper’s Stetson back in the box and closed the lid.

“Come in,” she called.

The door opened to reveal her eldest son. “Mom, I’m going to work, okay?” Jonathan said. His gaze immediately settled on his mother’s red eyes, and he knew she had been crying. He glanced around the room, noticing the boxes, and the brown box beside her with the lid askew.

Jonathan took a tentative step forward, unsure of whether to bring up the topic with his mother. They had never discussed Hopper’s death. Though he talked about it often with El and Will when Joyce wasn’t around, he wasn’t sure if she wanted to like they did.

“Mom…are you okay?” Jonathan asked.

Joyce cleared her throat. “Yes sweetheart. I’m fine.”

Jonathan looked at her uneasily. He sighed, coming into the room and sitting on the edge of her bed. “No, you’re not Mom. None of us are, Not really,” he said, looking at the box.

Joyce looked at her son, feeling ashamed. Once again, Joyce relied on Jonathan too much to help her with things he shouldn’t have been worrying about as a teenager. It had been Jonathan who watched over the kids and now her since their move.

Joyce sighed. “Jonathan it’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m just…missing him.”

“We all do Mom,” Jonathan said softly, remembering vividly how he and Will tried to console El on the first night in their new home.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

Joyce grimaced. “I don’t know if I can.” She took a shaky breath. “It still feels so surreal. Part of me thinks he’s gonna walk through that door with some insane story about where he’s been all this time.” She stumbled on the last word, biting her lip to stop the fresh tears.

Jonathan nodded in sympathy.

She laughed weakly. “But the rational part of me knows he’s gone.” Joyce moved to sit next to Jonathan on the bed, and they were both silent for a minute or two.

“I know you really cared for him Mom,” Jonathan stated gently.

Not bothering to deny it as she might’ve once had, she nodded. “I did. I do. But I never got to tell him that,” she said sadly.

The truth was she didn’t know exactly how she felt about him until he was gone. Feeling emotions were one thing, but after Hopper’s death she had finally put words to them. Now she couldn’t even tell him.

Apart from his return to her and her family, she wanted nothing more than to tell him how much he meant to her. How he made her a better person, a stronger one, through his comfort, trust, and friendship. She was bitterly reminded of the inconsistent and unpredictable nature of life, and the pain and heartbreak that came with it.

“I think he knew,” Jonathan said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “He loved you too.”

Joyce looked at him bewildered. “Jonathan – ”

“He did Mom. He didn’t ever have to say it for it to be true.”

Joyce simply stared at the floor, her mind going a mile a minute.

“I don’t know what to say Mom,” he admitted. “I keep telling El it will get better, but everyday it’s almost like it gets worse. It’s like we’re all missing a piece of ourselves. He was such a big part of our lives. It’s like this empty feeling.”

Joyce hugged her son, stroking his hair when they pulled apart. “I know,” she whispered.

“But you’re right. It will get better. The pain might not be gone but it will lessen,” Joyce said. She wished she could believe the words herself, but in that moment she couldn’t.

Jonathan nodded. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t much help, was I?”

Joyce shook her head and took his hands. “Jonathan, you were. More than you know.”

Jonathan tried to smile. “I should go. Don’t want to be late my first week.”

“Go, go,” Joyce agreed.

“You’re gonna be alright?” he asked, still worried.

“No,” Joyce answered honestly. “But better than I was before.”

Jonathan nodded. Joyce walked him to the door, and he left for work. She padded into the kitchen to start dinner when the phone rang.

Joyce smiled. It was likely Mike, he usually called for El around this time. She picked it up. “Hello?”

“Joyce.” How could one word cause so many feelings? How many times had she wondered what it would be like to hear him say her name again? She nearly fainted from happiness.

“Hopper?” she said, saying his name for the first time in weeks.

“No Joyce, it’s Murray.”

Murray? Joyce blinked. Was it Murray? But the way he had said her name…his voice, it had sounded exactly like Hopper’s.

“Murray?” she asked in disbelief.

“Yeah it’s me,” he confirmed.

“How did you get my number?” Joyce asked, confused.

“Joyce, it doesn’t matter alright? Just listen. I have some news.”

As Murray proceeded to tell Joyce, she listened her hand flying to cover her mouth. The phone was digging against her ear because she held it so tightly, but she didn’t care. Murray’s call would remind her of life’s unpredictability, only this time it was for better and not for worse.

CHAPTER 16

Summary: Joyce and Hopper stay over at Murray’s as they interrogate Alexei. She can’t sleep and talks to Hopper.

Song Inspiration: Nervous – Shawn Mendes

“I’m putting an end to this torture,” Murray snapped before Hopper could even open his mouth to protest.

“Couch, guest bedroom, floor. Sleep wherever, just don’t bother me until the morning.” Murray glanced at the clock and rubbed his eyes; it was already 1am. “Scratch that. Until the sun comes up…at least.”

With that Murray stomped to his bedroom and promptly shut the door, leaving Alexei, Joyce, and Hopper staring at his dust.

Alexei shrugged, a small smirk on his lips as he stood up to go to the washroom, comprehending without Murray having to translate that their interrogation of him was over and his refusal to talk worked.

Joyce sighed as she watched him leave, her eyes downcast both because of disappointment and fatigue.

“Don’t worry,” came Hopper’s low baritone. “I’ll get him to talk. Even if I have to beat the shit out of him,” he said while staring into space. It was obvious that he was also tired.

“No violence Hop. We’ll find another way,” Joyce replied.

Hopper rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Listen, do you want to sleep in the other bedroom? I’ll sleep on the couch and watch Smirnoff.”

Joyce looked at Hopper. “You sure?”

Hopper nodded. “Go on.”

Joyce smiled. Hopper watched her close the door then proceeded to gesture frantically and speak in monosyllables to Alexei who had just returned.

“You…couch…sleep. I’m…. watching,” Hopper said, pointing to his eyes then to the couch.

Alexei, having understood the odd man raised his handcuffed hands. It was hard enough going to the bathroom in them, he didn’t know how he would sleep in them.

“No, no,” Hopper said. “No talk, handcuffs stay.”

With that Hopper turned off the lights, flopped on the couch and shut his eyes, hoping that this nightmare would soon be over.

***

A loud thud followed by an “oomph” caused Hopper to open his eyes. He sprang up and looked over the couch to the source of the noise, expecting to find Alexei trying to escape. Thus, he was surprised when he found Joyce lying on the floor having tripped in the dark.

“Joyce!” Hopper whispered, walking around the couch to help her up.

“I’m fine,” she said, brushing herself off. “I just couldn’t see a damn thing.”

Hopper squinted in the darkness, trying to access her for any injuries. After noting that she was indeed fine as she said she was, he released his hand from her shoulder.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” he asked softly.

Joyce sighed. “I was coming back from the bathroom. I can’t sleep,” she admitted.

Hopper frowned. “Come on,” he said, and gestured for her to follow him.

He led her outside to the car they stole, and Hopper opened the door for her to get in.

“Where are we going?” Joyce asked, confused.

Hopper chuckled. “Nowhere.” He pulled out a pack of smokes. “Just getting some air.” He lit one and handed it to Joyce. She took it without hesitating and took a drag, coughing once, and handed it back to him.

They were silent for some time, finding comfort in each other’s presence. Hopper took the opportunity to steal a glance at Joyce.

He was still ashamed with himself that he didn’t believe her right away about her magnets. Her intuition had been right twice in a row before now. He looked at her now as her she leaned her elbow on the side of the car door and rested her chin on hand with her eyes closed.

She reminded him in that moment of another, and he was transported back to the first time he saw her again upon returning to Hawkins after Sara. He had known of course that Joyce never left, several people had informed him of this without him having to ask. What he did ask them about was her and Lonnie Byers. He had known about that too but was surprised to find out that they were still together and had two boys.

He kept to himself, avoiding Melvald’s for fear of running into her. He both feared their meeting and desired it. The way he was feeling then, he still preferred Joyce’s company to anyone else in town. Even after their fallout. So, he was lying when he told Flo he didn’t care when she said that Joyce Byers asked after him the other day.

Then suddenly after talking to Flo, he found himself driving by Melvald’s, craning his neck to get a glimpse of Joyce. And there she was, sitting at the counter, with her elbow leaning on the table, her chin resting on her hand, and her eyes closed. Suddenly, as if she knew he was passing by, her eyes opened, and she looked out the window of store in his direction, and even Hopper couldn’t ignore the fluttering in his stomach and his racing heart when he laid eyes on her again.

He willed himself to stop the car, get out, and go in. But in all honestly, he was genuinely scared to. _It’s been too long_ , he said to himself and stepped harder on the gas pedal, driving away from what he convinced himself was a dream.

Returning to the present moment, Hopper stubbed out his cigarette and threw it away. “You having nightmares?” he asked.

Joyce opened her eyes and turned to him. She shook her head. “No, I’d tell you if I was. I just couldn’t sleep. I don’t know why. Maybe just wired.” She bent over and put her head in her hands, frustrated.

“Sorry I woke you up,” she apologized, looking up at him.

He shrugged. “It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

She nodded and took a deep breath.

Hopper watched her. “You need to sleep Joyce. What can I do to help?”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled.

Hopper thought for a moment. Then turned to her again. “What if I, uh, stay in the room?”

“What?” Joyce simply said.

Hopper cleared his throat nervously. “El, uh, sometimes she has trouble sleeping. I sit with her until she falls asleep. Maybe it might work for you?”

Joyce looked at him, her eyes searching his, and he suddenly felt self-conscious. He hoped she didn’t think he was coming on to him or was dishonourable in his intentions.

“Okay,” she said softly.

“Okay? Yeah, I mean great. Let’s do it, I don’t mean let’s do it, not like that you know…. you know what I mean….” he stammered pathetically.

Joyce resisted the urge to laugh and just nodded, getting out of the car.

They walked back in and Joyce made sure to walk carefully so as not to fall again. The light in the guest bedroom was still on and Joyce turned it off upon entering, leaving the small lamp on.

Hopper shut the door quietly and stood by the door awkwardly.

Joyce got into bed. “You should sleep too Hop,” she said quietly, glancing at the other side of the bed. “It’s okay.”

Hopper rubbed the back of his neck unconsciously as it tingled from her suggestion. He knew she meant it platonically but his desire for her was apparent even at a time like this.

“Yeah, yeah okay. You sure?”

“Yeah,” she said.

Hopper got into the bed from the other side and stiffened when his shoulder brushed against Joyce’s. _This is ridiculous_ , he thought. This wasn’t the first time he slept in the same bed as Joyce. It had just been the first time in a very, very long time.

“What about Alexei?” Joyce asked suddenly, turning on her side to face him.

Hopper smirked. “He ain’t going anywhere. I handcuffed him to the couch.”

“God Hop,” Joyce said. “Maybe I should handle the interrogations from now on. You’re a little intense you know.”

Hopper chuckled. “We’ll see.”

“So, no?” Joyce asked again.

“Maybe. We’ll talk in the morning, _after_ you and I get some sleep, okay?”

“Fine but I’ll hold you to it.”

Hopper smiled. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

He reached over to turn off the lamp and not long after, he and Joyce both began to snore.

***

Hopper awoke to find Joyce out of a bed, he tensed but relaxed when she heard her talking to Murray and Alexei in the living room.

He walked out to find Joyce on the couch and Alexei lying on the other one, still handcuffed to it. He looked at Joyce who smiled at him in return. Hopper felt his hard heart soften at the sight.

“He needs to take a leak,” Murray called from the kitchen, interrupting the moment.

Hopper grunted and freed the Russian man who ran to the bathroom. Hopper walked into the kitchen.

“Any more coffee?” he asked.

Murray gestured to the pot while taking a sip of his own. He waited until Hopper had poured himself a cup before speaking.

“Was that the guest bedroom I saw you come out of? The very same one Joyce slept in last night?” Murray asked coyly.

Hopper narrowed his eyes. “So what? Don’t be getting any ideas, we were just sleeping. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Ideas? Me?” Murray made a face in mock outrage.

“You better not say anything to Joyce either.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good.” Hopper glanced out to the living room and saw that Alexei has returned and was not talking to Joyce.

“Enough with this bullshit, come on Murray.” They both walked back to the living room and Hopper sat down next to Joyce while Murray sat next to Alexei.

Hopper eyed Alexei and took a gulp of his coffee before beginning. “Alright Smirnoff, you better not jerk us around this time. It’s time to tell us what you know.”

CHAPTER 17

Summary: Hopper goes to visit Joyce for lunch but sees her eating with Bob instead. He tries to leave but can’t.

Song Inspiration: Burning – Sam Smith

Hopper climbed into his Blazer, carefully placing the tray of Cokes and bag of burgers on the seat beside him. He started the engine and drove towards Melvald’s, hoping to catch Joyce on her lunch break.

As he parked his truck and hopped out carrying the food and drinks, Hopper could see Joyce coming out of Melvald’s to sit on the bench by the store.

Smiling, he took a step in her direction when he saw Bob Newby walking up to Joyce and handing her a brown paper bag.

Joyce took it with a welcome smile on her face and gestured to Bob for him to sit down. Bob did so and kissed Joyce with enthusiasm before turning his attention to his own paper bag.

Hopper watched the scene unfold, frozen to his spot for a seconds before forcing himself to turn around, his stomach sinking and his heart pounding.

He quickly made his way back into the Blazer, dumping the food and drinks back into the seat but quietly shutting the car door. He didn’t want to draw Joyce and Bob’s attention and be forced to engage in an awkward conversation.

He couldn’t start his car either since the noise his truck made would likely make them look up. Hopper tried to resist but failed and craned his neck to watch Joyce and Bob for a moment.

They were talking and laughing, and Joyce was smiling in a way that he hadn’t seen in a long time.

He withdrew his attention from them and gripped the steering wheel hard. His knuckles were turning white and his hands were sweaty. He felt this burning sensation in his body, which started near his heart but quickly worked its way to his stomach, arms, and legs so that he felt hot all over.

To say that Hopper was jealous would be to say the least. Joyce had been Hopper’s first love and if he was really being truthful with himself, or if he was very drunk, he would say that he had never stopped loving or caring for her, and most likely never would. To see her with another man, even one as good as Bob Newby, made his breath hitch (not in a good way) and his chest feel heavy. 

He was also angry, more so with himself than with Joyce or Bob. Of course, Hopper knew that Joyce was not his and they were in no way romantically linked, nor had they been for awhile. However, he and Joyce had grown closer since Will’s disappearance and he caught himself thinking more about her as time went on. He had come to rely on his friendship with Joyce, for it made him a less hostile and bitter man. He was selfless with her, and it was easy to be.

He knew their relationship could not be the same, now that Joyce was with Bob. He would be a fool if he thought that nothing would change. But they had worked so hard to rebuild their friendship since their fallout in high school, and it wasn’t fair that it was now slipping away, and Hopper couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

To be honest, Hopper and Joyce began to grow apart after Will was found. Joyce became busy recuperating Will, and Hopper was dealing with Brenner and the lab. Lately, Hopper had become preoccupied with raising El, whom he had not yet told Joyce about for fear of endangering her and her boys.

It was hard raising a kid alone, and especially hard because he could not ask Joyce, whom he respected as a single mom, for advice. Hopper had no other friends he could turn to, this being his own fault he admitted, and this fact distressed him.

_You blew it you idiot_ , Hopper thought to himself.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes furiously, trying to get the image of Bob kissing Joyce out of his mind.

His grumbling stomach reminded him that his lunch break was nearly over and that he should probably eat something, given all the paperwork that was waiting for him back at the station.

As Hopper ate, the gnawing feelings of anger and jealously still had not gone away. But then again, Hopper’s feelings, whatever they were, were slow to dissipate.

Today’s events, however, did not provoke as many emotions as the day he found out about Joyce and Lonnie’s marriage had. That had been much worse.

With a grimace, Hopper recalled the day he received his mother’s letter while stationed in Vietnam. Thinking it was nothing out of the ordinary, he read passively as his mother wrote about the getting a new car and missing him.

It wasn’t until his mother’s mention of Joyce’s marriage to Lonnie and her abhorrence to the town’s reaction (“gossiping mongers” she had called them) that Hopper began to flip the fuck out.

Again, Hopper had no right to be angry or jealous, yet knowing this did not make him less so. He was mad at Lonnie because Hopper knew he was a piece of shit, but he was also mad at Joyce for marrying the creep. He didn’t understand why she would.

Though she and Lonnie were casually dating when he left for Vietnam, he had never thought the relationship would last.

He remembered being so angry his whole body was shaking, and he wanted to reach over to the poor soldier beside him and pummel him into the ground. He couldn’t help but wonder if Joyce would have married Lonnie if he had not been drafted and stayed in Hawkins.

He wasn’t sure. They had said some nasty things to each other during their breakup. Hopper had accused her of sleeping with Lonnie and Joyce blamed Hopper for giving up on their relationship and admitted to wanting more than their relationship could give her.

None of those things were true. Time was their biggest enemy. They began to grow apart like they were now. They had been fighting more than usual before their implosion, as the inevitability of growing up became too much for them to handle.

But he had always hoped they would be able to find their way back to each other in the future. As friends at the very least. Though he was ready to forgive Joyce for the things she said, he was doubtful that she would forgive him for what he said.

After reading the letter and rereading the bits about Joyce and Lonnie several times, Hopper ripped up the letter and threw it into the dirt. Then he remembered developing a chain-smoking habit. He hadn’t known how to calm down and was still angry several days later and hoped that the nicotine would help.

Back in his truck, Hopper ran a hand through his beard before craning his neck again to see if Joyce and Bob had gone. With a sigh of relief, he saw that they were no longer on the bench.

Hopper started the engine and pulled away from Melvald’s.

Arriving at the station, Hopper took a deep breath to calm himself before going in. Still unnerved from seeing Joyce and Bob, and from his memories of Joyce and Lonnie, Hopper reasoned with himself that if he ever had the chance to tell Joyce how he still felt about her after all this time, he would.

For now, he had to focus on El and being there for her. Though he would never not be there for Joyce, he knew that if he wanted to keep her in his life, he had to let her be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

CHAPTER 18

Summary: Extended scene. Joyce and Hopper continue arguing about going to the lab. Despite his anger at her, Hopper doesn’t lose faith in Joyce and goes with her.

Song Inspiration: Something – The Beatles

“Joyce!” Hopper bellowed, running up to catch up with the petite woman storming away. “Wait!”

“Go back Hopper, I can do this on my own!” Joyce yelled back.

Hopper finally reached her and tripped over his untied boot laces in an attempt to block her from opening her car door. His back hit the car door with a thud.

Joyce stared at him as he stood panting and glaring at her angrily, his nostrils flaring, and his arms crossed. Hopper was momentarily distracted by the crease of worry on her forehead. He wanted to kiss it away.

“Hopper, move!” she commanded, bringing him back to reality.

He shook his head stubbornly. “You’re not going to the lab Joyce,” he said through his teeth.

“In case you didn’t notice Hopper, I’m a grown woman. You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do!”

“I can if it’s a stupid idea!” Hopper roared.

“Why? Because it’s not yours? Oh wait, because what did you say? Because I’m inventing things now. Yeah crazy Joyce! Back at it again!” Joyce yelled back.

“You know why it’s a stupid idea Joyce? Because I know for a fact that no one is there! The only reason you wanna go is because your magnets fell off your fridge and Scott Clarke filled your head with bullshit.” 

“It’s true!”

“Spare me Joyce.”

Joyce rolled her eyes. “Jesus Hopper, what do you expect me to do? Sit around and wait for that demo…demo…monster to come back? To finally finish us off for good this time?”

The thought of the thing hurting the kids and Joyce caused Hopper to wince. He willed his voice to be calm as he uncrossed his arms. “Joyce, of course I don’t want that, but we can’t just go storming in there with no leads,” he explained.

Joyce looked at Hopper. “Didn’t you hear what I said before Hopper? Please just…trust me. I have a feeling and I would never ever forgive myself if I…” Joyce’s eyes begin to water. This conversation was beginning to remind her of their argument when Joyce told Hopper that Will was missing.

Hopper noticed Joyce was beginning to unravel and took her shoulders gently. “If what Joyce?” he said softly.

Joyce looked down, attempting to hide her tears from Hopper. “If I didn’t at least try.”

She looked up at Hopper. “I thought we were safe. But now I don’t know.”

Hopper sighed to himself. “Joyce. It’s not them, okay? It’s not. Going back there…there’s no point.”

“How can you be sure Hopper?”

Hopper sighed. “I can’t.”

Joyce raised her eyebrows to Hopper proving her point. She sidestepped him and opened her car door. She got in and rolled down the window. “I’m going Hopper. I’ll be fine on my own.”

Hopper didn’t know if it was the suggestion of leaving her to face danger alone or if it was the determined look in her eyes to protect their children at all costs. Whatever it was, it made Hopper want to hold on to her and never let go. 

Hopper whipped around to face her. “Like hell. Look if you insist, I’m going with you.”

Joyce frowned. “I don’t need your protection Hopper,” Joyce said.

“I know,” Hopper said softly.

“Then why Hop?” Joyce asked him, knowing why.

Hopper regarded her for a moment. Not wanting to say why he wanted to go along.

“It won’t be like before. I’m better now,” she said quietly.

Her mention of the last time she was at the lab and the events that followed caused Joyce’s eyes to go glassy and Hopper to involuntarily take a step forward.

Her nightmares of Bob being eaten alive by the monsters at the lab had only started to go away. Hopper worried that going back there would only trigger them.

After they closed the gate, Hopper and El both stayed over at the Byers’ for a month. Hopper slept on the living room couch and fell off it when during their first night there, Joyce began screaming in her sleep.

Hopper and the kids ran to her room to find her tossing and screaming from a nightmare. After calming her down, Hopper turned to find the kids huddled by the door to Joyce’s bedroom, Jonathan and Will looking terrified and El crying. Hopper then proceeded to calm the kids and get them to sleep again. He remembered Jonathan saying his mother never had nightmares before, and definitely had never screamed in her sleep before. Not even when Will was missing.

The nightmares continued for weeks after and occasionally returned after Hopper and El went back to the cabin, as Jonathan told him.

Now, when faced with the decision to go back to the lab and potentially trigger those nightmares, Joyce’s bravery was not lost on Hopper, and even in his anger and annoyance with her over last night, he was still (and always would be) in complete awe of her. For she was selfless in her actions, and he was ashamed, because he could not be.

It was then Hopper realized that he was a fool to put his faith in anywhere else but in Joyce. For she never failed him. And more than this, she deserved his faith. Where he continued to doubt himself, Joyce was able to put her faith in herself and prevail.

Her convictions were her strength and Hopper wasn’t lying when he said he knew that she didn’t need protection. The truth was, Joyce’s strength; for herself, for her boys, for El, and even sometimes for him, was unrelenting.

But he would be damned if he let by any opportunity to be there with her and to help in any small miniscule way. She had come to him asking for help and he had rejected her. Now she was too proud to ask again.

“I know you’re better now Joyce. Look I want to go with you. I want to help you. You shouldn’t have even had to ask.”

Joyce scoffed. “You didn’t want to before.”

Hopper shook his head. “Yeah well, I was angry. I wasn’t listening.”

Joyce softened at his confession. “But you’re not angry anymore?”

Hopper shook his head again. “No. I don’t understand the magnets and stuff, but I believe in you. I should’ve when you came by. And you’re right. We have to try. For the kids if not for us.”

Joyce smiled. “I am sorry you know. For last night. I got caught up. And Scott…well he’s just a friend.”

Hopper grunted.

“And he has a girlfriend,” she added.

At this, Hopper smiled a little. He opened her car door and nodded toward his cabin. “Come on.”

Joyce sighed. “I thought you said we were going.”

Hopper grinned. “We are. Just taking my Blazer. We’ll have the radio if we need it.”

Joyce narrowed her eyes at him. “Okay,” she relented.

She gathered her things and stepped out of the car.

Together, Joyce and Hopper walked back to his cabin.

CHAPTER 19

Summary: Hopper reflects on his feelings for Joyce after the Snowball. El calls it like she sees it and points out to him that he’s in love with Joyce.

Song Inspiration: Can’t Fight This Feeling – REO Speedwagon

Hopper grimaced as he watched El and Mike hug. The Snowball had just ended, and the kids were tumbling out of the school doors towards their awaiting parents. Ever since the events at the lab and Bob Newby’s death, parents were more alert and on edge than ever, including Hopper and Joyce.

“Relax,” Joyce said as she rolled her eyes.

“They’ve been hugging for 37 seconds Joyce,” Hopper replied, annoyed.

“Jesus Hop, you’re counting?”

Hopper ignored her. “Wheeler,” he mumbled to himself.

Joyce nudged him.

Once El finished saying goodbye to Mike, she walked over to Joyce and Hopper with Will.

“Hi Mom,” Will greeted.

“Hi baby. Did you have a good time?” Joyce asked, kissing Will on the top of his head.

Will nodded.

El smirked. “He danced with a girl.”

Joyce raised an eyebrow at her son.

Will glared at El. “Let’s go. Bye Chief,” he said and quickly made his way around the car before El could say more. 

“Bye Will!” El shouted brightly, completely oblivious to Will’s annoyance with her.

Hopper chuckled. “Ready to go kid?” Hopper asked El, ruffling her curls gently. 

El nodded. She hugged Joyce goodbye and thanked her for helping El get ready for the Snowball.

“Bye Joyce. Let me know if you need anything,” Hopper said, trying to sound casual.

“I will, thanks Hop,” she replied softly and got into her car.

Hopper and El made their way to the Blazer, and climbed in.

Hopper watched as Joyce’s car pulled away before starting his own car and driving off.

El was quieter than usual in the car but Hopper assumed she was just tired from the dance.

He glanced over at her to see if she was alright when he found that she was staring straight ahead with a glazed over expression on her face. She sniffed once.

“What is it?” Hopper asked, concerned.

“Will I ever have a family?” El asked him softly.

Hopper felt like she had just punched him in the gut. He swallowed a lump in his throat.

“We are a family,” he replied quietly, not looking at her.

El sighed. “But I want a Mom. And siblings.”

Hopper forced himself to laugh. “I don’t know if that’s gonna happen kid.”

“Why not?” El asked confused. “Mike told me a Dad needs to be in love with a Mom to get married and have a family. I told him my Dad was already in love with a Mom and she has sons, so if they marry, we can be a family.”

If Hopper was not so shocked at her words, he would have been ecstatic that El referred to him as her Dad. But instead, he merely forgot to breathe and began to cough when his brain reminded his body to.

He took a deep breath before calmly addressing her. “Where did you get an idea like that?”

El looked at him, confused. “But it’s true. You are in love.”

“With who??” Hopper nearly shouted.

El gave him a look. “Mrs. Byers,” she said, enunciating clearly. “Joyce,” she added for further clarification.

Hopper pulled the car into their driveway before looking at her with shocked expression.

“I don’t love Joyce,” Hopper said curtly.

El smiled. “Yes, you do,” she said matter-of-factly. “If you marry her, we can be one big family.”

Hopper waved his hands. “Okay. No one is marrying anyone. Why would you even think that?”

El sighed. “Because you’re in love w – ”

“Okay,” Hopper interrupted. “Joyce and I are just friends. Have been for awhile. Doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.”

“Mike and I were friends first. Now he’s my boyfriend,” she said calmly.

Hopper decided to let that one go for the sake of his mental health. El’s insinuation of his feelings for Joyce as something more than friendship was already too much for him.

“I see how you look at her. Like you want something more. Like you want to be with her forever,” El added.

“You’ve been watching too much TV. We should focus on the things we do have not what we don’t,” he said.

Hopper began unbuckling his seatbelt and got out of the car. “It’s late. You should be in bed.”

El begrudgingly got out of the car and followed Hopper to the cabin. Once inside, Hopper shrugged off his jacket and threw it on the couch loudly.

El watched him from the kitchen after pouring herself some water. She crossed her arms.

She was confused. To her, it was obvious that Hopper was in love with Joyce. Though he never said it, El watched as Hopper fussed over Joyce and her boys after Bob’s death. How he cared for her when she was distraught after the funeral.

El watched as Hopper seemed to gravitate towards Joyce whenever they were in the same room with each other.

El watched as Hopper cared for Will because he loved Joyce. And El watched as Hopper seemed to be at ease around Joyce but not others, including herself.

His countenance and behaviour would shift, and it was like he was a different person. A more caring, loving, and gentle one. So different from the gruff and hard exterior he showed to everyone else.

Joyce was harder to read. El could see that she cared for Hopper in return and she knew that Joyce loved her. But she was not sure that Joyce loved Hopper.

Though, El was positive that Joyce once did and that in time she could again. Joyce was certainly calmer around Hopper and El knew Joyce trusted him above everyone else. But she could also see that Joyce’s pain over losing Bob was not yet gone.

El decided to leave Hopper to his thoughts and slipped away into her bedroom to sleep. She didn’t think it would be much longer before Hopper admitted his true feelings to himself and acted on them with Joyce.

Hopper returned from the bathroom to find the kitchen empty. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down in front of the TV, turning it on but not paying attention to what was on the screen.

After taking a long sip and burping loudly, Hopper rested his head on the couch and closed his eyes.

His conversation with El had left him feeling uneasy. What had made El think that he was in love with Joyce? He never said anything. They were friends. Had been since high school.

It was all ridiculous. He didn’t look at her in any way like what El described. He looked out for her, sure. Had to after Will and Bob. He just wanted to make sure she was okay. No one else would, not that he would let them. Well, besides Jonathan.

He recalled the pain still evident in her eyes when they were talking earlier at the dance. She was still healing. This year had been a lot for them both. He wouldn’t do anything to cause her more distraught, like admitting his feelings. But they were just friends, he reminded himself.

_Then why did you kiss her?_ his conscious screamed.

She probably didn’t notice. Right? It was a…friendly kiss. Chaste, on top of her head for god’s sake. This was ridiculous, he thought again. He was clearly overthinking things.

He thought about what El said about wanting a family. He admitted that the idea did sound nice in theory.

But after Sara, he wasn’t sure that that was possible again because truthfully, when Sara died, the parts of him that were a father and a husband went with her, and he thought they would never come back. El was a blessing he never thought would be possible again, and for him, it was enough for now.

Hopper opened his eyes and sighed. Now the next time he saw Joyce, and possibly every time after that, he would think of what El said. He would have to be more careful of his actions around Joyce and control his emotions. Which were friendly of course, he reminded himself. So, he had no reason to be afraid of his actions and feelings around Joyce, he reasoned.

He decided to distract himself from his thoughts. He turned off the TV and reached for the paper instead. He leafed through it casually before an ad at the bottom of a page caught his eye. It was an ad for a new restaurant opening in town, called Enzo’s.

CHAPTER 20

Summary: Hopper and Joyce meet again at his mother’s funeral. Both think back to a time in their lives when things were simpler. 

Song Inspiration: Two Ghosts – Harry Styles

Joyce smoothed down the front of her dress and closed the door quietly behind her. The church was filled with people from town, people who she didn’t even know, who had come to pay their respects just as she had. Flowers lined the ground and a framed picture of June Hopper was placed next to the closed casket. As the funeral began, Joyce took her seat near the back of the church.

When it was his turn to speak, he did so quietly and calmly. His speech was short but then again, Joyce remembered, he was never a man of many words.

As he spoke, Joyce began to cry. Though she was mourning for the loss of Hopper’s mother, she also mourned for Hopper’s loss and for the loss of their friendship. She felt guilty that she hasn’t been there for him.

She was so wrapped up in her own life that she hadn’t even known Mrs. Hopper was sick. Hadn’t even known he was in town for a month taking care of her.

She spent days arguing with herself about if she should go to the funeral or not. In the end she decided that her respect for the woman who had always been kind to her since her childhood was greater than her pride. Now, as she listened to Hopper laugh bitterly while reminiscing about a memory of his mother, her heart broke into a million pieces all over again.

As the service ended, Joyce remained seated while others rushed over to Hopper to give their condolences. It was only until the last couple stepped up to Hopper did, he finally notice her presence.

He locked eyes with her and looked at her with an expression she could not quite read. Her palms began to sweat in anticipation, and she rubbed them fretfully across the skirt of her dress. When the couple left, she gathered her things and got up.

As she walked toward him, time seemed to slow down and nearly stop and her vision tunneled to focus on the man who had once been a very special part of her life.

“Hi Hop,” she murmured, her voice trembling with emotion. She stared at him as she waited for him to reply. Talking to him felt so surreal. They hadn’t seen each other in years. Yet, there he was in front of her. His deep blue eyes piercing into her brown ones.

“Hi Joyce,” he replied softly, sadness colouring his tone. Now he was staring. She looked different, so changed from the bold and brash girl he loved. In her place was a woman who looked burdened by the demands of her life she carried like a weight on her shoulders.

“I um, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. Your Mother, she was always so kind to me,” she said. She reached out to touch his arm but stopped herself halfway. Their parting hadn’t been amicable, and she wasn’t sure where they stood. She quickly put her hand back under the coat she carried.

Hopper pretended not to notice. “Thanks. She always thought of you as a daughter.”

Joyce smiled. “I remember. You know she still made me shortbread for Christmas each year, even after…”. She trailed off awkwardly. _Even after we stopped being friends_ , she wanted to finish.

Hopper nodded. “She never could stop cooking. Even after she got sick.” He looked away sharply, furious with himself at invoking his memories of her illness. He blinked in a feeble attempt to stop the tears forming at his eyes. 

He cleared his throat noisily. “You coming to the reception?” he asked trying to sound casual.

Joyce shook her head. “I can’t. I have to go home and take care of my son.” She bit her lip. “I wish I could.”

He wished she could too. It would be more bearable with her there. Just like everything else in his life would have been. The war, being a cop in New York, his life.

“It’s okay,” he lied.

Joyce smiled sadly.

“Mom told me you have a son,” he said, fiddling with his shirt collar.

Joyce’s eyes brightened. She nodded. “Yeah, Jonathan. He’s at home.”

_With Lonnie_ , Hopper wanted to add. _The man you chose over me_.

Just as she had always been able to, Joyce read the thought in the tension in his shoulders and the hurt in his eyes. She crumbled slightly, upset over hurting him even more on a day like today. 

They were both silent for a moment and turned their attention to the large stained-glass windows that shone the white light of the morning.

“Do you remember when she chaperoned the dance that one time? You wore that blue dress?” Hopper suddenly asked.

Joyce smiled in surprise at the memory. “We were in high school. It feels like a lifetime ago,” she laughed softly. “You were so embarrassed, you tried to pay her not to go.”

Hopper smiled. “She took my money and went anyways. When they started playing that Sinatra song, she made me dance with her. Called me Jimmy-jam in front of the whole school.”

“I thought it was sweet!”

“I didn’t!” Hopper said, chuckling. “I was so mad at her when we came home, I didn’t talk to her for days.”

Hopper’s smile began to falter. “I was so stupid. All I could think about was myself. What I wouldn’t give to dance with her again.”

Joyce’s eyes began to tear up again.

“No one tells you how bad it’s gonna hurt,” he said, his voice cracking. 

And just like that Joyce felt like her heart was breaking again. The pain and sadness were so great in Hopper’s eyes that she felt them in her bones. Her knees were weak, and she felt nauseated.

“Hop, please let me help. We could talk somewhere. Will you be in town long?” Joyce nearly begged.

But in true form, Hopper retreated into himself during his grief.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. No, I um,” he cleared his throat unnecessarily. “I’m going back tomorrow.”

_And leaving me again_ , Joyce thought. Immediately feeling bad for her selfishness, she pushed the thought away. 

She pursed her lips and nodded. Hopper found himself staring at her lips, suddenly wanting to kiss them.

He pushed the thought away. “Do you ever wish we could be them again?”

Joyce’s eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Who?”

“Those stupid kids who had their whole lives ahead of them. No responsibilities. Only possibilities.”

“Everyday,” Joyce replied truthfully. 

“Me too,” he said, nodding. He looked into her eyes, searching for hope. They shared a long look before he spoke again.

“But we can’t,” he said, sounding defeated.

“We can’t,” she agreed, sounding the same.

Hopper sighed and smiled sadly. “Take care of yourself Joyce.”

This time Joyce didn’t hesitate and stood on the tips of her toes to embrace him. Hopper bent down and returned her hug. They were so close he could feel her heart beating quickly. He never wanted to let go.

“Goodbye Hopper,” she whispered.

“Bye Joyce.”

Then she left and was gone from his life. He stood there with his hands in his pockets and closed his eyes, wondering if he would ever see her again.

CHAPTER 21

Summary: Joyce and Hopper argue about whether Will should go back to the lab to see Dr. Owens.

Song Inspiration: Always Remember Us This Way – Lady Gaga

“He’s not going!” Joyce yelled, throwing the dish towel on the counter angrily.

Hopper took a deep breath trying to calm himself but failing. His anger over her stubbornness was coursing through his veins and he could feel his skin getting hot just looking at her. He looked away and sighed loudly, then ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

They had been arguing for nearly an hour. Hopper had come over to pitch the idea of Will going to see a doctor from the lab about his nightmares and Joyce had all but thrown him out for even suggesting the idea.

“Joyce, it’s not what you think. These guys, they know his history, they can really help him.”

Joyce scoffed. “Help him,” she said dryly. “Like they helped him fake his death?”

Hopper shook his head. “I already told you, it’s not the same team. Brenner and his guys are gone.”

Joyce began to walk away from him, pausing to grab a lighter and light a cigarette. “I can’t believe your suggesting this,” she said disbelievingly. “You of all people. You saw what they did to him and now you want him to go back there!”

“They can help him! Those other doctors in Chicago have no idea what their doing.”

“Yeah well at least they didn’t want to kill him!” she shot back.

Hopper shook his head incredulously. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Why should I? He’s my son Hop. And this idea…this idea is ridiculous,” she stubbed out her cigarette. She strode over to the door and opened it. “This conversion is over. Will and Jonathan will be home soon. Goodnight.”

Hopper simply stared at her. “You know, did it ever occur to you that I care about Will?”

She laughed bitterly. “You have a funny way of showing it. Wanting to put him in danger?”

“Joyce I would rather die myself than put him in any danger.”

As she gathered that he would not be leaving at her request, she slammed the door and proceeded to go to her bedroom instead.

“He’s like a son to me,” Hopper admitted quietly.

Joyce stopped, her back still turned to Hopper. Though she had known this for a while in her heart, her anger tempted her to ignore his confession. She took a deep breath and turned around slowly. Her arms crossed and her shoulder sagging slightly from the weariness she felt from fighting with him.

He took her silence as his cue to continue. He looked at the floor as he spoke, unable to meet her gaze for what he was about to say.

“Look, Will… he’ll always be special to me. Not just because he’s your son, but because when we found him, he looked at me with this, this face. I can’t describe it. But it was like he was looking at me like he saw me for the first time. Really saw me. Not as the Chief, but as something else…I had only seen that look with Sara.”

He stopped and glanced at her.

Joyce’s eyes softened at the mention of his daughter. She spoke softly now. “Go on.”

“It was like he trusted me so much…I want to live up to that trust. I knew then that I would always do anything to protect him. That I would rather harm myself then let him be harmed,” he continued. “I would never let him get hurt,” he repeated.

Joyce was silent for a minute longer before speaking. “I know,” she said quietly.

Hopper nodded. “Good.”

She took a step forwards and he did the same unconsciously. It was as if they were tethered to each other, and truthfully since Will’s disappearance they were. He knew that whatever he did, whatever he decided, Joyce, Joyce and her sons, would always be at the forefront of his mind.

“Hopper,” she said seriously. “You really think we can trust this doctor…”

“Owens,” he finished for her.

“Owens,” she repeated.

“Yes. He knows his stuff and if there’s a chance that he can help Will, we need to take it,” he said firmly.

“What are they gonna do to him?” she asked nervously.

Hopper shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said softly. “Maybe run some tests. Talk to him. Figure out what’s causing them.”

Joyce sighed. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Hopper asked, wanting to make sure.

Joyce nodded. “I’m trusting you Hopper. Don’t let me down.”

Hopper nodded once.

Joyce chuckled once and Hopper looked at her with a surprised expression. “What?” he asked, wanting to be in on the joke.

“Huh,” she simply said.

“What is it?” he asked again.

Joyce smiled. “I haven’t felt this way in a while.”

“Felt what?” he practically demanded.

“Hope,” she said still smiling.

Hopper regarded her for a moment before smiling himself. “Yeah, me too.”

Joyce suddenly looked at him anxiously. “Hopper?”

“Yeah Joyce?”

“Will you…come with me? Come with us? To the appointments?”

“Sure,” he answered immediately.

His lack of reluctance made her smile again.

Then the door to Joyce’s house opened swiftly and two boys entered, kicking off their boots and greeting their mother without looking up.

They paused when they finally noticed Hopper’s presence.

Jonathan spoke first. “Hi Chief, is something wrong?” he asked, confused.

Will looked at his brother nervously.

Hopper quickly shook his head. “No, no. Just visiting your Mom. I should actually be going…” he pointed awkwardly at the door.

He turned to Joyce. “I’ll see you later,” he said.

“Wait,” Joyce said. She didn’t want him to leave, not just yet. Despite their arguing Joyce found comfort in Hopper and she needed that now. Even though she had agreed to go back to the lab, the idea still set her teeth on edge, and she didn’t want to look anxious before the boys.

“Do you want to stay? For dinner?” she asked hesitantly, realizing that this was the first time she had asked him.

Hopper tried to mask his surprise but failed. “Are you sure?” He glanced at the boys who were staring at them both. “I don’t wanna impose.”

“Of course, I am,” Joyce said firmly.

Hopper nodded. “Yeah, okay. If that’s okay with you kids,” he added, looking at Jonathan and Will.

Will simply smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah Chief, that’d be cool!”

Hopper smiled at the boy’s kindness. He glanced nervously at Jonathan, worried that the boy might mistake his intentions for replacing his father or making a move on his mother.

Jonathan shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, fine with me.”

Hopper let out a small breath of relief. “What are we having” he asked, looking at Joyce.

“Lasagna,” she said.

The boys went to wash up while Joyce put a casserole dish into the oven to heat up and Hopper helped set the table.

“This is really good,” Hopper said, pointing to his plate with his fork.

“That’s because Mom didn’t make it,” Will said, earning a laugh from Jonathan and Hopper.

Joyce rolled her eyes. “Karen dropped it off when she came by,” she explained.

“Ah,” Hopper said.

Jonathan took a bite from his own plate and looked at his mother. “He’s right Mom, it is good.”

“Yeah I get it boys, I’m a lousy cook,” Joyce said, smiling and shaking her head.

Hopper chuckled as the boys went on to talk about the time Joyce attempted to make them lasagna, which ended up being undercooked on one side and burnt on the other. As they recited the memory, their voices grew louder with excitement, with Jonathan filling in the parts Will didn’t remember or got wrong.

The noise from the kids faded as Hopper focused on Joyce. She looked up at him from her plate and smiled. He smiled back and watched as she watched her sons with amusement on her face. He knew that the memory of their first dinner together was one which he would not forget.

CHAPTER 22

Summary: Joyce tells Hopper about Bob asking her out. She gives Hopper a chance to admit his feelings for her.

Song Inspiration: Happier – Marshmello and Bastille

After giving his present to Will (which happened to be a fancy new bike – earning a surprisingly strong hug from Will and multiple protestations from Joyce about the extravagance of the gift) Hopper agreed to stay for some cake before returning home.

As Will and his friends took turns riding the bike on the front lawn, and Jonathan was taking pictures as the designated photographer for the day, Hopper and Joyce were alone in the house.

Hopper waited patiently for Joyce to cut him a slice of cake on the couch and flipped absent mindedly through the TV guide.

“I saved you a corner piece. I remember how you used to fight me for them when we were kids,” Joyce said with affection in her tone. She handed him the plate and a fork and sat down beside him.

Hopper chuckled. “I always gave you my Jell-O cups though.”

Joyce made a face. “Gee thanks.”

She was silent while he ate his cake and watched TV with a glazed expression on her face. He observed her quietly.

“What’s wrong?” Hopper asked, setting the plate and fork down on the table.

Joyce turned to him sharply, meeting his eyes for only a second before turning away again.

“Nothing,” she lied.

“Is it Will?” Hopper pressed.

Joyce shook her head. “No.”

Hopper didn’t say anything, instead letting her tell him on her own. He pretended to watch TV while imagining the worst possible scenarios.

“Bob Newby asked me out,” she said quietly.

Hopper turned from the TV to simply stare at her. He hadn’t considered this scenario.

“You remember him, don’t you?” she asked gently.

“Yeah, no, I do, ‘course I do. He’s working at the RadioShack down the street from Melvald’s right?”

“Yeah,” Joyce said.

Hopper regarded her. She was fiddling with the buttons on her shirt, and her face was red. She was blushing. He cracked his knuckles unconsciously.

His first reaction was anger, that Bob Newby made a move on her. But then he chastised himself for thinking that she was somehow his. That their twisted journey together through hell and back made her so.

His second reaction was fear that she had said yes, and he would never see her again. But then maybe she said no. This was Bob the Brain. He couldn’t even recall a time when she had even spoken to the guy in high school.

His third reaction was confusion. Why did he feel angry and scared? Joyce and him, well they hadn’t been anything for a long time now. When he married Diane, he thought those feelings for Joyce were gone. Yet here they were, slapping him in the face.

Hopper gritted his teeth. “What’d you say?” he asked, looking at the wall. He couldn’t face her without losing his grip on his own emotions.

She shrugged. “I said I’d think about it,” she said carefully.

Hopper looked at her then. She could’ve imagined it, but Joyce thought he saw a flicker of relief in his eyes.

“Have you thought about it?” Hopper asked, forcing himself to sound indifferent.

“I’m thinking about it,” she said slowly. “It all happened so fast,” Joyce continued. “One minute he was ringing up Will’s new game, and then he was talking about getting coffee.”

She craned her neck to look out the window where Dustin was currently on the ground, having fallen off the bike or being pushed off and Will and the others were laughing at him.

She smiled. “Luckily Will was out of earshot or I would have to explain this to him too.”

“How do the kids feel about you dating?” Hopper asked. He really wanted to ask her if she had been on a date since Lonnie.

Joyce grimaced. “It’s not something we’ve discussed.”

Hopper nodded slowly. Despite his desire to tell her she should tell Bob Newby to sod off, he began to think about how different Bob was from Lonnie. Then he thought of how Bob was different from him. How Bob might actually be good for Joyce. Be what she needs. Something…stable.

But maybe Hopper could be good for her. Or maybe he was still a train wreck with a secret daughter with unpredictable powers.

The truth was, even if he would admit his feelings for Joyce to himself, he couldn’t give her what she needed. Not now. Not yet. And Joyce deserved to finally be carefree, to be happy.

“Why the hesitation? Newby seems nice.”

Joyce looked at him uncomfortably. “I dunno. I guess I’m not sure. If he’s right for me.”

_He is. He’s a good man,_ Hopper thought.

“You’ll never know if you don’t give him a chance,” Hopper said.

“So, you think that I should say yes?” Joyce asked, staring at him. She looked as if she were holding his breath, while waiting for his answer.

Hopper took in the sight of her like he knew he wouldn’t be able to look at her like he was for a long time. He tried to commit to memory the softness of her eyes and the delicate curve of her neck at that moment. He wondered what it would be like to kiss her beneath her jaw again.

“Hopper?” Joyce whispered, bringing him back to reality.

Hopper forced a smile. “Yeah I do. You should, you should give him a chance.”

Joyce nodded and laughed nervously. “Maybe I’ll visit him tomorrow on my lunch break.”

“Yeah you should.” Hopper said more to himself than to her. He played with the rip on the arm of the couch before clearing his throat.

“I should go,” he said, putting on his coat. “Got a busy day tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Joyce said, standing up to follow him as he strode quickly to the door. “Well…thank you for Will’s bike. You really didn’t have to.”

“It’s fine. Kid deserves it,” he opened the door and glanced at Will who was watching as Lucas rode on the bike.

“I’ll see you around Joyce,” he said softly, wanting to hold her hand.

Joyce smiled sadly. “I’ll see you Hop.”

He tipped his hat at her and went down the steps. She watched as he patted Will and Jonathan on the shoulders as he passed. She closed the door and sighed loudly, looking at the bag from RadioShack on kitchen counter.

CHAPTER 23

Summary: Hopper overdoses after Sara’s death. He moves back to Hawkins for good.

Song Inspiration: Alive – Khalid

“Jim it’s me,” came Diane’s voice on the answering machine. “You missed the meeting with the lawyers today. Call me back please.”

The next day, she called again. “Jim seriously, are you okay? Call me back.”

Another call in the same day. “Jim, I’m worried. I’m coming over.”

Hopper tried to open his eyes but even that task seemed too much to ask from his body. He was vaguely aware that someone was pounding at the door to his trailer, but his body felt too heavy to move.

Suddenly the door sounded like it was being pried open with something and a female voice exclaimed “Oh my God.”

Diane rushed over to Hopper who was lying across the sofa, covered in his own vomit. Beer cans and pills lay scattered on the floor beside him.

“Jim! Jim! Can you hear me?” she called frantically.

He could feel her fingers around his wrist, checking for a pulse.

“Oh my God,” she said once more.

He could hear her moving across the small space and speaking into the phone now. 

“I need an ambulance. My husband, I think he’s overdosed on something. What? Yes, there’s a pulse.” She quickly gave them an address before pausing to listen again.

“Please hurry…Diane, I’m his wife but we’re separated.”

Later, she would tell him this story while sitting on the edge of his hospital bed with tears in her eyes and a sad, disappointed look on her face. A look he had become accustomed to seeing for some time now.

“I knew things were bad but not this bad. You could’ve asked me for help,” Diane said sadly.

Hopper smiled bitterly. “And ruin your life even more. Isn’t that what you said to me? That I ruined your life?”

Diane sighed and closed her eyes, counting to three in her head and trying to swallow the lump in her throat. “I was angry…Sara she had just –”

At the mention of his daughter’s name, Hopper winced and interrupted her.

“Look I’m sorry I missed the meeting. You have the papers? I’ll sign ‘em right now.”

Diane shook her head. “What? Jim, no. Once you feel better we can – ”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Look I’m not gonna be around much longer. Let’s just get it over with.”

Diane recoiled. “What do you mean? You’re not going to try this again, are you?”

“Try what?” Hopper asked through his teeth.

Diane looked at him sharply. “To kill yourself,” she said bluntly.

Hopper scoffed. “I didn’t try to…not on purpose.” He paused. “It was an accident,” he mumbled.

Diane’s eyes narrowed and she shook her head. She didn’t say anything, but he could tell she didn’t believe him.

“I meant that I’m moving. Back to Hawkins. An old friend got me a job down at the station,” he said quietly.

Her eyebrows went up in surprise. “Oh. Well that’s great news…I’m really happy for you,” she smiled warmly. “A fresh start.”

“Yeah I guess,” he mumbled.

They were interrupted by a nurse who had come in to change his IV. He sat up in his bed.

“So, you got ‘em or what?” he asked gruffly after the nurse had left.

Diane sighed and walked over to retrieve the manila envelope and a pen from her purse. She handed them to him, and he signed the papers without even reading them. He put them back into the envelope and handed them back to her.

“Guess this is it then,” he said, not looking at her.

She looked at him with pain in her eyes. “You’ll be okay? Won’t you?”

Hopper gave her a nod. “Yeah, you know me.”

She was silent for a moment. “Yeah I do.” She gathered her things and paused at the doorway. “Take care of yourself Jim.”

“You too Diane,” he answered, still not looking at her.

She tried to smile but failed and bit her lip to stop herself from crying. As she looked at him, she tried to remember the man Jim Hopper had once been and she was angry at how life had broken him.

Gone was the charming and rumbustious man she had fallen in love with. Gone was the devoted husband and father who loved his family passionately.

In his place was a man, at the edge of a turning point, who was lost. A man who had fallen so far, she wasn’t sure if anything or anyone could bring him back again. Her heart broke for him.

When she left, Hopper finally looked up. He stared at the spot she had just stood at, then closed his eyes and laid down in his bed.

He hadn’t tried to kill himself. Truly. He just wanted to make the pain stop. Had just wanted to disappear for a couple of hours. To a world where his little girl didn’t die. He dreamed of one where she was safe and happy and laughing.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry. For all of it.

_I am sorry_ , he thought. _More than you’ll ever know. I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of your mother. I’m sorry I let her down. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you darling girl._

***

Hopper’s stomach grumbled loudly, reminding him that it was time to eat. As he passed a familiar place, he debated with himself if he should go in.

His stomach grumbled again, and he sighed, making up his mind. He parked his trailer and hopped out.

Little had changed of the diner. The curtains were still checkered, the walls still white, and the depressing landscapes Benny’s father had put up were still there. It was like time had stopped.

He walked in quickly and sat down at a table near the back. He looked around nervously for anyone who might recognize him, but the little diner was mostly empty except for a table of older men whom he did not know. Still, he pulled down the brim of his baseball cap.

A tall and broad man walked out of the kitchen, holding plates of burgers and fries, a white apron tied to the lower half of his body. He brought the plates to the first table and glanced at his new customer sitting at the table behind them.

“Jesus,” Benny blurted.

The men at the table looked up and turned to look at Hopper, who turned red from the attention.

Hopper cleared his throat. “Hey Ben,” he said, using his best friend’s old nickname.

Benny walked over to Hopper and shook his hand. “Jimmy Hopper!” he exclaimed excitedly. “How the heck are you?”

“Fine fine,” Hopper said quickly. “You?”

Benny smiled broadly. “Can’t complain. What are you doing in town?” he asked unknowingly.

Hopper cleared his throat again. “I uh, I’m back. For good.”

Benny looked at him with a confused expression. “But I thought you moved to New York?”

Hopper nodded. “Yeah. Uh, didn’t work out I guess.”

“Oh,” Benny said, not knowing how to respond.

Hopper was silent.

“So, you here with your wife? Any kids?” asked Benny.

“Uhh no,” Hopper said lowly. “Didn’t work out.”

Knowing the limits of his friend, Benny decided not to push further. He laughed to diffuse the tension. “Yeah me neither,” he said jokingly. “Diner keeps me pretty busy. No time to date.”

Hopper chucked lightly.

“So, you hungry? What can I get you?” Benny asked.

“Just a burger and fries Ben, thanks.”

“Sure thing. Coming up.”

Benny brought Hopper his food but was polite enough to give Hopper the space he needed for a while.

“You know I tried to write you a couple times. Never got a response,” Benny said casually as he brought Hopper another beer.

Hopper looked up from his newspaper and pushed his empty plate away from him. “Yeah, sorry Ben. I got ‘em but I guess I got busy.”

Benny shrugged. “S’okay. So, how was life as a big time New York City cop?” he joked.

Hopper grimaced. “I definitely wasn’t that. Fine, I guess. A part of my life that I’ll never go back to though,” he said darkly.

Benny looked at him with an unreadable expression. “I guess you’re turning over a new leaf then. In Hawkins?”

Hopper raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, something like that.” He raised his beer in the air. “Here’s to a new life. Hope it’s better than the last,” he said and downed his third beer.

Benny smiled but there was concern in his eyes for his friend. He didn’t say anything further and instead walked back to the kitchen.

Hopper returned to his newspaper. Moments later, a young boy approached him carrying a bin full of dishes.

“Excuse me Sir?” the boy asked tentatively.

Hopper looked up surprised. He hadn’t seen this kid when he came in and was pretty sure he wasn’t Benny’s.

“Can I clear up for you?” he asked in a small voice, pointing to his empty plate and beer bottles.

“Uh, yeah. Sure kid.” The boy was so small he had to put the heavy bin down before putting Hopper’s dishes in.

Hopper watched the boy warily and glared at Benny. The boy walked away without a word and returned to the kitchen.

Benny came over to give Hopper his check.

“Who the hell is that?” Hopper asked curtly.

Benny’s eyes followed Hopper’s to the kitchen.

“Oh, that’s the older Byers boy. Jonathan.”

Byers. As in Lonnie Byers, Hopper realized. Lonnie Byers who was married to Joyce. This was Joyce’s son.

“He looks a little young to be working here,” Hopper remarked, trying to keep his tone emotionless.

He was surprised by the wave of protection he suddenly felt. He hadn’t felt this way since Sara and had certainly never felt this way with a kid he had just met. He tried to shrug the feeling off.

Benny merely shrugged. “Maybe. But the kid needs the money and I need a dishwasher. He wanted a job, so I gave him one. It’s just part-time. Afterschool.”

Hopper’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean he needs the money? What for?”

Benny shrugged again. “Something about helping out at home. I didn’t ask too many questions. He’s a hard worker Hopper. Leave him be.” And with that, Benny left to return to the kitchen.

Hopper clicked his tongue. The boy came back out with Benny this time, listening as Benny explained something to him.

Hopper watched carefully. The boy didn’t look very much like Joyce.

As Jonathan listened to Benny, he crossed his arms and bit his thumbnail unconsciously. A gesture, Hopper remembered, his mother doing any time she got nervous.

Hopper’s heart began to beat faster, and he hastily took out his wallet and threw some bills on the table before leaving.

“Hey Hop!” Benny called.

Hopper turned around.

“Don’t be a stranger okay?” Benny said.

Hopper attempted to smile. “Thanks Ben. See you around.”

Benny smiled and waved. “See you.”

CHAPTER 24

Summary: Joyce takes Hopper home after she finds him passed out at the local bar on his daughter’s birthday.

Song Inspiration: Remedy – Adele

Hopper climbed into the truck and started the engine. He glanced at his watch. It was late. He should’ve been in bed by now.

Instead he had just told Joyce that her son was dead. If he were not so distraught, he would have been shocked at her reaction. She had refused to believe him so confidently, going on about communicating with her dead son through the lights that covered every inch of the small house and the creepy letters on the wall.

Now, after leaving her on the couch with Jonathan sobbing in his bedroom down the hall, his foot froze over the pedal.

He sighed and cut the engine. He couldn’t leave her. Not tonight. If there was any way he could help her, he would.

He wasn’t yet sure that he believed what she was saying. But he wanted to.

Tomorrow he would go with her and Jonathan to the morgue. _Christ_ , he thought. She had been dealt such a shitty life. First Lonnie now Will. It wasn’t going to be easy, but then again, when was it ever? No one ever said life was fair. No one ever warned them for the heartbreak. But he wanted to do all he could to help her get through it.

He pulled his hat over his eyes and closed them. There was no way he was sleeping tonight, he knew.

After a few minutes, he began to think about the last time Joyce had been there for him, without him having to ask. He realized that he wanted to do the same for her.

***

Joyce walked into the bar, her eyes scanning the room for Lonnie. She made eye contact with the bartender Mel.

“Is he here?” she asked in an exasperated voice.

Mel shook his head. “Haven’t seen him come in yet.”

Joyce sighed. Her eyes scanned the room again and this time, they landed on a large man slumped over in the back corner with a Stetson laying on the table in front of him.

She squinted and walked over slowly, aware of Mel’s eyes on her.

“Hopper?” she asked, bending over a little to get a look at him.

“Mmmm,” came his garbled response.

“Are you okay?”

His eyes were half open, and half closed. Five bottles of beer and several shot glasses were scattered on the table. He didn’t answer her.

“How long’s he been here?” Joyce called over to Mel.

“Since about 4,” he answered.

Joyce looked at her watch. It was nearly 9pm. She bit her lip, thinking. Her plan was to come and drag Lonnie home. She left Will and Jonathan at home, promising she would be back in an hour.

She sighed again. She had to make sure Hopper got home alright. She was sure no one else here would.

She climbed into the booth and shook his shoulder gently. “Hopper,” she said loudly.

He looked at her and winced. “What?”

“I’m taking you home!” she said firmly. She knew she definitely would not be able to lift him, so she tugged his arm, making him yelp.

“Come on!” she said again.

He sighed and complied, falling out of the booth, stable but swaying on his feet.

She held on to his hand as she dragged him out and shoved him into her car. He was so tall that he had to bend his head a little to fit.

She started the engine and drove carefully, glancing at Hopper who was frowning.

“I was just…havin’…a…drink,” he slurred.

“More like 10,” she countered.

He scoffed and pulled out a prescription bottle from pant pocket. He attempted to open the bottle but failed. He groaned loudly.

“What’s that?” Joyce asked, looking at the bottle suspiciously.

“S’for pain,” he mumbled.

“What pain?” she prodded. Did Hopper have some sort of injury from the war?

“The pain here.” He pointed to his head. “And here.” He pointed to his heart.

Keeping one hand on the wheel, Joyce yanked the bottle from his hands. “Hey!” he whined.

“I’m just checking them Hop, relax.”

She read the label. Oxycontin.

“Where’d you get these?” she asked with disbelief. He couldn’t be addicted to these, could he? He was the Chief of Police for God’s sake.

“Not telling,” he replied like a child.

She pursed her lips. “Fine,” she simply said and promptly threw the bottle out of her open window.

“Hey!” he shouted at her.

“You don’t fucking need those Hopper.” She tossed a bottle of water at him. “Drink that.”

“Fuck,” he cursed and ran his hand through his hair. He threw the bottle to the ground and kicked it away angrily.

“But the pain…” he put his hand over his heart.

Joyce glanced over at him anxiously.

He started to pound on his chest. “Can’t breathe,” he said quietly.

Joyce became alarmed, worried that she might’ve fucked up by throwing the pills away. Despite what he just said, he was breathing fine. Her shoulders dropped a little in relief.

“Hopper? Hopper look at me. What pain Hopper?”

Hopper looked at her through his half-closed eyes and mumbled something.

“Hopper I can’t hear you,” she said.

“Her pain. My little girl. S’her birthday.” He slumped down further in his seat and closed his eyes.

She finally understood. She had heard some customers talking about his little girl in the store. Her eyes filled with tears imagining the pain he must be feeling, and she did not blame him for wanting to take some of it away by any means necessary. She would be a mess if she ever lost Will or Jonathan. They were her world.

“Hop…I can’t imagine....” she said uselessly.

He made a pained noise and she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye.

Moments later, she pulled up to the trailer and attempted to get him out of the car.

“Hop. You’re home Hop.”

He mumbled incoherently again and got out of the car. She felt around his pockets for the keys and found them. Unlocking the trailer, she turned on the lights and helped him in.

He collapsed as soon as his leg made contact with the sofa.

She went over to the kitchen and poured him a glass of water.

“Hopper,” she called attempting to wake him.

He opened one eye. “Joyce! Whatta you doin’ here?”

Joyce ignored him. “Open,” she commanded. He did so and drank most of the water.

She let out a breath of relief. He began to snore softly then, and she stood up. She looked around the small space. She went to the fridge and dumped out the beer. She then went to his bedroom and flushed the pills she could find.

She didn’t know if she was doing any good, but she would try. She opened the door to leave and looked gloomily at the sleeping man before stepping out. 

The next afternoon, Hopper would come into Melvald’s to buy some Tylenol. He would look at Joyce and smile uncomfortably.

He would mumble “thanks for you know”. She would say “sure” and they would not talk again until Joyce stood before him in his office, eyes wild on the verge of tears because of her missing son.

***

The moment seemed so long ago. He felt like an asshole for not believing her. For entertaining the possibility that Will had gone to Lonnie’s of all places.

He let out a deep breath and attempted to get what little sleep he could. Tomorrow he had to be there for Joyce. Though he never doubted her strength and resilience, he of all people knew about the pain.

Whatever happened, he knew he couldn’t leave her. He would stay, for as long as he would let him. 

CHAPTER 25

Summary: It’s Joyce’s birthday and Bob meets Jonathan and Will for the first time. Hopper stops by and things get awkward.

Song Inspiration: Naked – Ella Mai

Joyce stubbed out her cigarette and threw it away. She crossed her arms, the night air creeping through her thin sweater. At her place on the porch, she watched as Bob unloaded his car. He walked up the steps carrying two bags.

“What’s all this?” she asked after kissing him lightly.

“Only some of the best movies so far for the birthday girl. And my present of course,” he replied, beaming.

Joyce shook her head. “You didn’t have to do that,” she said, her face turning red.

“Are you kidding? I live for this stuff!” he said brightly. “Hey,” he went on. “Did I ever tell you how pretty you look in the moonlight?” Bob said, gently grabbing her by the waist.

“Stop,” she said, laughing nervously. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I just got off work. I probably look a mess.”

“You’re gorgeous Joyce. Always have been.”

Joyce giggled. Her expression then turned serious. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

He nodded once. “Are you?” he asked back.

“Yes,” she said smiling. “It’s just that…we can be…a lot. Will…people talk. This isn’t exactly a normal family.”

Bob listened patiently. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

Joyce gave him a look. “Bob. Everyone in this town knows what happened and everyone loves to talk about it.”

“I’m not everyone Joyce.”

She took his free hand. “I know.”

She led him inside where Will and Jonathan were making her birthday dinner.

“Will, can you check the chicken in the pan?” Jonathan asked, speaking into the fridge as he retrieved the frosting.

Joyce walked in with Bob and Will looked over at them.

“Will, Jonathan, this is Bob,” Joyce introduced.

The boys glanced at each other before Jonathan spoke. “Hi.”

“Hi Jonathan,” Bob said. “Dinner smells great!”

“Thanks. Er, do you need help with those?” he asked, pointing to the bags in Bob’s hands.

“Sure, thanks.”

Jonathan took them and retreated to the living room to put them down.

“Are you two dating?” Will blurted.

Behind them, Joyce heard Jonathan cough awkwardly.

“Will honey, that’s rude,” Joyce scolded.

“Sorry,” he apologized, looking down. “It’s just that…,” he stopped, unsure if he should continue. “I didn’t know if you were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Joyce grimaced. She and Bob had never really discussed what they were. They had been on two dates, but she wasn’t sure if they qualified as dating and she sure as hell wasn’t sure if he was ready to be labelled her boyfriend or even if he wanted to be.

Bob smiled. “I’m not really sure what we are, big guy. And that’s okay,” he looked at Joyce. “Your Mom and I are spending a lot of time together and we’re happy with each other. That’s what matters.”

Will seemed to accept this. He blushed and turned his attention back to the pan.

Jonathan came back in. “It’s almost ready Mom, why don’t you go relax?”

Joyce smiled. “Okay sweetie, we’ll just be in the living room. Make sure you – ”

“Turn off the burner. I know Mom, I will,” Jonathan finished for her.

She guided Bob back to the living room, and they sat down.

“I’m sorry about that. I expected Jonathan to be a bit defensive, not Will,” she said, cringing.

Bob chuckled. “They love their mother. Will was just curious, not defensive.”

Joyce pursed her lips.

“Hey,” Bob said, putting an arm around her. “It’ll all be fine,” he said optimistically, referring to the dinner.

Joyce opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She got up and opened it to reveal Hopper.

“Hop!” she greeted.

“Hey,” he said softly. He held up a plastic bag. “Brought some ice cream. You still like mint chocolate?”

Joyce smiled broadly. “It’s still my favourite.”

She opened the door wider so he could come in.

Hopper noticed Bob almost instantly and his shoulder tensed. To be honest, he wasn’t sure if he was going to come. He didn’t want to leave El, but Joyce had invited him. She looked up at him with those big brown eyes of hers that he always had trouble saying no to and told him to stop by if he could. She also mentioned that Bob would be there, that it was his first-time meeting Will and Jonathan.

After a push from El, he came. It was Joyce’s birthday after all.

“Hey Bob,” Hopper greeted. They had talked a couple times in passing around town but never while he was with Joyce.

“Hey Jim, good to see you,” Bob said standing up.

Hopper handed the bag to Joyce and she disappeared to the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer.

She came back to find Hopper and Bob talking awkwardly about the weather. She bit her lip. The two had absolutely nothing in common. She hoped it wouldn’t be too awkward, but she really did want both of them here. Though she hated drawing attention to herself, the dinner was a welcome distraction from her growing anxiety over Will’s episodes.

“Joyce!” Bob called when he saw her. “Let’s choose a movie for tonight.”

Bob retrieved the larger bag from earlier, which was full of VHS tapes. “I’m not sure what you’re in the mood for but I brought lots.”

He wasn’t lying. He had covered every genre. Bob pulled out the first tape and held it up.

Joyce took one look at it and visibly jumped. It was a horror movie called _The Thing_.

Hopper too was looking at the tape and his throat suddenly dried. He knew what Joyce had seen. The image on the cover of the tape looked eerily similar to the Demogorgon they encountered last year. He glanced at her warily.

She recovered quickly. “Umm, maybe not that one. Maybe a comedy?”

Bob’s eyebrows knitted in confusion at her reaction, but he nodded. “Sure.” He proceeded to rummage through the bag.

Joyce met Hopper’s eyes and she gave him a tight smile, letting him know she was okay but reminding him not to say anything.

Hopper looked away. He stood up. “Gonna go help the kids,” he said and swiftly left.

Joyce and Bob were still looking at movies when Jonathan came in to announce that dinner was ready.

They ate, and when the dishes were cleared away, Will brought over Joyce’s birthday cake. He stuck in three candles and Hopper lighted them.

They sang her happy birthday, minus Hopper, who simply watched, a content smile on his lips.

“Be right back Mom,” Will said as he and Jonathan went to retrieve their presents for her. Bob went to do the same.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” Joyce said to Hopper, who remained seated at the table beside her.

“Sure. I uh, got you something.” He pulled out a round box from his jacket pocket and placed it on the mantle. “Don’t open it here,” he said, shifting uncomfortably.

She looked at him, surprised. “Hop, you really didn’t have to. You already brought the ice cream.”

“It’s nothing Joyce,” he said gruffly but not unkindly. “Happy birthday,” he added.

She smiled. “Thanks. I can’t believe I’m this old,” she said, cringing a little.

Hopper chuckled. “Me neither,” he teased.

Joyce swatted at him. “Hey!”

He dodged. “I’m joking!” he defended. “You’re not old,” he stated.

She lowered her voice. “I feel old. A feel like a hundred years have passed since…you know.” She gave him a sad smile, which he returned.

“Yeah I know,” he said softly. “Me too.”

“Mom! Look!” Will called excitedly, ending their conversation.

Will held a large box in his arms, wrapped in white paper with an ostentatious yellow bow on the top.

Joyce’s lips parted in surprise.

“It’s from me and Jonathan! Open it!” he said, passing the gift to her and sitting down.

Jonathan stood back with the camera, waiting to take pictures.

Bob returned and whistled. “Now that’s a gift,” he said, impressed at the size of it.

Joyce removed the bow and tore off the paper carefully. She opened the lid of the box to reveal an expensive plush white bathrobe.

She ran her hands over it. “Oh boys,” she said quietly. “It’s beautiful.” She set the box on the table and got up to kiss both boys on the cheek, much to their dismay.

“Thank you,” she said thickly. “And thank you for making dinner and for the cake!”

“Yeah I think I gained five pounds,” Hopper said, smiling and patting his stomach. Will and Jonathan laughed.

Joyce returned to her seat and Bob handed her a small white gift bag. “Happy birthday Joyce,” he said brightly.

Joyce smiled and ducked her head. She removed the tissue paper from the bag to reveal a square box.

“Oh Bob, I hope you didn’t go to too much trouble,” she worried.

Bob shook his head. “Not at all. Open it Joyce,” he instructed.

She did so to reveal a silver necklace with a large crystal charm in the shape of a heart.

It was beautiful but it was also very ostentatious. It was something Joyce would never wear, and Hopper knew this after peering at it from over her shoulder. 

“Oh!” Joyce exclaimed. “This is so…I’m speechless.”

“Put it on!” Bob suggested.

With Bob’s help, she did so, and Jonathan snapped a picture of her.

“I’ve never really seen you in a necklace Mom,” Jonathan said lightly.

“Well I’ve never had one this nice before!” Joyce said quickly.

She turned to Bob. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

He replied with a kiss and Jonathan watched as Hopper glanced away.

“Right! I think it’s time for the movie now. It’s nearly 9,” she said.

They moved to the living room and Hopper cleared his throat. “I think I’ll head out now. It was good to see you again Bob. Boys.”

Both boys nodded at him.

“Sure you don’t wanna stay Jim? I’ve seen this one,” Bob said, holding up a VHS tape. “It’s a riot!”

“Another time Bob. Early day tomorrow,” Hopper responded. He was anxious to get home to El.

“Sure Jim,” said Bob, nodding.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Joyce offered. “Could you put in the tape? I won’t be long,” Joyce asked Bob.

“Sure thing.”

She closed the door behind her and walked with Hopper in silence.

“You okay?” Joyce asked suddenly.

Hopper looked at her. “Yeah. Why?”

“You look funny,” she said, scrunching up her nose.

“No, I don’t,” he argued.

Joyce shrugged. “Listen. Thanks for coming, really. I’m happy you did,” she said, smiling.

“I’m happy you’re happy,” he said quietly.

He got into the car and rolled down the window. “Call me if you need anything.”

Joyce nodded. “I will.”

“Night Joyce.”

“Bye Hop.”

She returned to find the boys on the couch with Bob. Will and Bob were explaining some D&D thing to Jonathan, who listened half-heartedly.

When the movie was over, and the boys went to bed, Joyce walked Bob to his car. They held hands and Bob chatted about the movie.

“I hope you didn’t find that too painful,” Joyce said once they reached his car.

Bob smiled. “It was one of the best nights I’ve had in a while. Except our dates.”

Joyce laughed. “You know, we never really discussed what we are,” Joyce said, trying to sound indifferent.

Bob regarded her for a moment. “Do you want to?”

Joyce shrugged.

Bob took her hands. “Joyce, we don’t need to label our relationship if you’re not ready to. I’d never ask you to do anything you didn’t want to do.”

Joyce smiled. “Thank you.”

Bob nodded. “We can just be Bob and Joyce for now.”

Joyce smiled. “I like that.”

“Good.”

She kissed him goodnight.

“Drive safe,” she said softly, once he was in the car.

“Always,” he replied.

He drove off and she resumed her position on the porch from earlier. She sighed. She really wanted this thing to work with Bob but her reaction tonight to the VHS tape made her skeptical that it would. She wasn’t sure if she would ever tell him about what had actually happened to Will during his disappearance. She didn’t know if he would even believe her. Had someone told her last year, she never would have believed them.

The truth was, Bob’s innocence of the truth and his distance from the whole mess was what appealed to her the most. He wasn’t broken or bitter, he was still whole, still good. And she couldn’t compromise his goodness and his virtue with her trauma.

But Bob’s innocence also created an invisible barrier between them. She would always have to be careful of her emotions around him. She could never tell him the real reason she was so worried about Will or the real reason she had nightmares at night. 

She sighed again and shivered. Maybe one day she’d tell him. But for now, she really did like the idea of being just Bob and Joyce.

She returned to her room before remembering Hopper’s gift on the mantle. She turned on the lamp above the dining table and reached for it. She hadn’t even opened the box an inch before a small charm fell out onto the floor. She picked it up and inspected it under the light. It was a gold snowflake.

The charm was originally part of a stuffed animal Hopper had gotten El. Upon hearing that it was Joyce’s birthday, a distressed El with no money and no means of leaving the cabin tore off the charm and presented it to Hopper, insisting that he give it to Joyce for her.

“Pretty,” Joyce murmured, still gazing at it. She put the charm down carefully on the dining table.

Joyce turned her attention back to the box and opened it fully to find a wristwatch. She looked at it more closely and realized with astonishment that this watch was exactly like the one she had lost in the Upside Down. Gold with a round face and a thin metal band. She put it on and smiled down at it. She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and laughed softly to herself.

She was so grateful for tonight. It had been a long time since she smiled and laughed this much. Even if it was just for a moment, she had finally remembered what it felt to be at peace.

CHAPTER 26

Summary: Teenage Joyce and Hopper break up. Both can’t imagine a life without the other. 

Song Inspiration: Grow As We Go – Ben Platt

Hopper followed Joyce inside and shut the door behind him.

“Where are they this time?” Hopper asked, following her up the stairs.

“Illinois again. They’re coming back tomorrow,” Joyce explained.

Hopper scoffed. “Wish I had the house all to myself.”

“Yeah well, I wish my mother cared about me more. We’re both losers I guess,” she said bitterly and kicked open the door to her bedroom.

He looked at her before sitting down on the floor and taking off his leather jacket.

Joyce threw the fuzzy pink sweater she had been wearing earlier on to the floor and flopped on to the bed with a huff.

“What do you want to do?” she asked, staring up at the ceiling.

“Dunno. Whatever you want to,” he replied, lying down as well.

They were silent for a while before she spoke up again. “Hand me a smoke would ya? I left mine back in the car.”

He did as she asked and passed her his lighter. She lit her cigarette and took a long drag. She blew out a puff of smoke and watched as it disappeared into the air.

“Do you ever wish you could just escape it?” Hopper asked suddenly.

Joyce’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “What?” she asked.

Hopper sighed. “All of it. High school. This town.”

She scoffed. “You’re graduating this year. You’ll be out of school.”

“Yeah but then what?” he responded quietly.

“I dunno. Get a job or something?” she suggested.

Hopper sat up and gave her a look. “What? Here?”

She turned to face him. “Where else?”

He was silent for a minute. “New York?” he said softly.

Joyce tried not to roll her eyes. “Hop, please don’t start again.”

“Seriously Joyce. I want to go. You could come with me, after you graduate. I’ll go there first, find a job, and wait.” He looked at her with hope.

She didn’t know what to say. “Hop…” She sat up on the bed and crossed her legs.

“We need to get out of here Joyce. This town…it’s poison. If we stay, we’ll never be able to leave,” he reasoned.

She stubbed out her cigarette on her bed post. “Jesus Hopper.”

“So, you want to go or what?” he asked a little hotly.

She looked at him incredulously. “You’re asking me to decide right now?”

“Yeah,” he replied.

“What would I do in New York? I couldn’t even get a job there.”

Hopper shook his head. “’Course you could. The city’s huge. We can, we can get jobs, find a place to live together.”

“You asking me to marry you James Hopper?” she joked.

He looked at her seriously. “If that’s what you want. I’m asking you to come and be with me.”

Joyce sighed. “I don’t…why can’t you just stay here?”

“I can’t Joyce. The more I think about it, the more I hate the idea of staying in a place where everybody has something to say about you even when they don’t know shit about you. I need to go somewhere else.”

“We could be different people Joy. Our life could be so different from what it is now,” he went on.

“Maybe you could stay and be a different person Hop,” she countered.

Hopper shook his head again. “I can’t Joy. This town, it’s, it’s suffocating sometimes.”

Joyce bit her lip. He wasn’t wrong. On more than one occasion she had cursed this town for all the busybodies and the judgemental eyes and the hidden hostilities it had.

But to completely uproot herself? Sure, it was a year from now, she had time to get used to the idea. But the idea of going to a huge city like New York scared the crap out of her. She didn’t know if she would cut it and she didn’t want Hopper to resent her because she couldn’t.

“I don’t know,” Joyce said carefully. “Can’t you just…stay?” she asked again. “We could be together here. We grew up here. My parents are here. Your Mom is here.”

“You don’t even like your parents,” Hopper mumbled, picking at the carpet frays.

“Yeah but I don’t want to leave them.”

“Look, I get it,” she continued. “I wonder what it’d be like sometimes too…but I, I can’t see myself leaving Hawkins.”

“So, you’re just gonna stay here forever?” he grumbled.

“No, I didn’t say that.”

She refused to look at Hopper and instead played with his lighter.

She hesitated before she spoke again. “You really want to go?” she asked.

“More than anything,” he said softly.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Then you should go. I’ll stay.”

“I don’t want to go without you,” he said bluntly.

She smiled sadly. “Well now you definitely have to go. If you stay, you’ll just end up resenting me for making you stay.”

“Joyce, I want to go and be with you.”

“You can’t have both Hop,” she said in a small voice.

He looked at her. “I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Me neither.”

Joyce observed him and watched his shoulders rise and fall as he breathed. He continued playing with the carpet frays.

“I can’t stay Joy,” he said softly after a moment.

“I know,” she whispered.

He looked up at her and saw that her eyes looked watery.

He sniffed. “Look, there’s still months until I graduate. We can talk about this again later.”

“I think,” she paused. “I think that conversation will be the same as this one.” She looked at him, an apology in her eyes and she found the same in his.

Hopper coughed. “Right. Well, let’s just enjoy the time we have left together, yeah?”

Joyce blinked away tears. “Maybe…maybe,” she couldn’t bring herself to continue. She took a deep breath to steady herself, but her breath came out shaky.

Hopper stared at her. “Maybe we should end it?” Hopper finished quietly.

Joyce nodded, looking down at her hands.

“Is that what you want?” he asked.

She shrugged. “It’s what’s gonna happen. Eventually.”

Hopper sighed. She was right and he hated that she was. Suddenly, images of Joyce staying in Hawkins and getting married filled his head until it hurt. She would have a family and he would lose her forever. He pictured her with three children at her side.

“I’m sorry,” he felt the need to say.

Joyce frowned. “You deserve to be happy Hop. If leaving is what it takes, then…”

Hopper nodded.

“Hop?” she asked, looking up. “We can still be friends, right?”

“Yes,” Hopper said firmly. “Yes, we can write letters. I’ll come and visit. It’ll be fine.”

She smiled faintly. “That’d be nice.”

They looked at each other and both felt a sense of finality mixed with an overwhelming sense of loss.

“Does that mean we can’t go prom? Not even as friends?” Hopper asked.

Joyce bit her lip. “Hop…I don’t know if that would be a good idea.” She knew she would not be able to hold back her feelings for Hopper and she didn’t want to do this with him again.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Guess I should go home now,” Hopper said putting on his jacket, and standing up.

“You don’t have to go,” Joyce argued.

Hopper swallowed. “No, I, I think I should.”

Joyce tried to ignore the sinking feeling her stomach. She stood up and pressed the lighter into his hand. She held his large hand in both of her small ones.

“I’m sorry Hop. I wish I could go with you. To New York.”

He gazed down at her. “I wish you could too.”

“But I know you’re gonna be fine. I know it.”

Hopper nodded. “Goodnight Joyce. See you at school.”

She released his hands. “Goodnight,” she whispered. She watched him slip out of her room and listened as he opened and closed the front door. It was only when she heard his car pulling away did, she begin to cry.

CHAPTER 27

Summary: Will is bullied after returning to school after his disappearance. Hopper takes him to school one day and scares the shit out of everyone.

Song Inspiration: Take Care – Rihanna and Drake

The bell on the door to Melvald’s rang, indicating a customer’s arrival. Joyce looked up from sweeping the floor to find Hopper.

“Hey,” he said, taking off his Stetson.

“Hey,” she repeated. “What’s up?”

“You tell me,” Hopper responded, staring at her as if she were on trial.

Her eyes narrowed. She finished sweeping and put the broom against the counter.

It was nearly closing time and she was exhausted from a long shift. She wanted to go home and sleep, not face questions from an angry-looking Hopper.

“Tell you what Hopper?”

“Jonathan came by today. He was upset about Will. He assumed that I knew but I didn’t,” he explained.

Joyce sighed. “Hopper can you please just tell me what’s wrong? I’m tired.”

“Will’s being bullied Joyce. At school. Jonathan says he comes home crying most days. He asked me to help. Why didn’t you tell me?” he said.

Joyce glared at him. “He shouldn’t have done that,” she said, shaking her head in disapproval. “I didn’t tell you because it’s not your concern.”

“It’s not my concern,” Hopper repeated, disbelief in his voice.

“Yes. He’s my son. I’m handling it,” she defended. She crossed her arms and stared up at him.

“I can help you know,” he said as if this were obvious.

Joyce shook her head. “I don’t need you to. I’ll take care of it Hop. I’m going to call the parents tomorrow.”

Hopper’s ears perked up. “You know who’s doing it?”

She nodded. “The Zimmerman brothers, a couple of other boys.”

“Is it bad?” Hopper asked, trying to sound neutral.

Joyce nodded again, anger in her eyes. “They call him “Zombie Boy”. Yesterday they shoved him into a locker. I called the school, but they said they couldn’t do anything.”

“Bullshit,” Hopper softly swore. “What about his friends?”

Joyce shrugged. “I think they’re just targeting Will.”

She looked away as if trying not to cry and Hopper’s hand twitched. He wanted to comfort her, but he was too angry to. The kid had almost died (had in fact died according to some people) and now had to deal with getting picked on for it.

“So, you’re gonna talk to the parents? You think that’ll help?” he asked.

“What else can I do? I can hardly follow him around all day and yell at whomever attacks him.”

“It won’t work,” Hopper said resolutely. “The kids are getting these ideas from the parents.”

“Well then what the hell am I supposed to do?” Joyce threw her hands up in frustration. “Do you have any idea how it feels to be so helpless with your child?” she said without thinking.

Hopper stared at her. “Yeah, I do,” he said softly.

Joyce bit her lip. “Of course.” She hung her head. “Sorry,” she added.

She sat down on the stool and crossed her arms again. She bit her thumbnail and stared at the wall.

“Did you ever…I mean…did she have bullies?” she asked tentatively.

“No,” he said softly, knowing who she was talking about. Had it been anyone else, Hopper would have chewed them out for mentioning his daughter. But this was not just anyone, it was Joyce. Though she was luckier than he had been, she too had experienced the pain of losing her child.

“She never had bullies. Everyone at school loved her,” he wanted to smile. “She had one of those magnetic personalities, you know?”

Joyce nodded. “She sounds really special Hop.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she really was. So is Will. I care a lot about him too,” he admitted.

Joyce smiled. “I know you do.” Her eyes became blank. 

“It’s not your fault,” Hopper remarked, reading her thoughts. “Those kids. It’s beyond your control.”

She refocused on him. “Is it? I thought he would be fine at school. I didn’t think…”

“Sometimes we can’t,” Hopper said softly. “We can’t think about everything bad that can happen to them. We’d go insane that way.”

She chuckled wryly. “I think I already am. Everyone knows that.”

“You’re not,” he insisted.

“Would you let me help?” Hopper asked.

Joyce sighed. “I don’t think you can.”

“I can talk to the parents. Go see them in person. Talk to the school again.”

“Don’t you have other things to do? As the Chief?” she asked.

He scoffed. “My job is to protect the citizens of Hawkins. Will is one.”

She nodded slowly. She stood up. “But it should be me Hop. I’m his mother. I’ll call them tomorrow.”

Hopper knew she would say this. He paused for a moment, thinking.

“What if I take him to school tomorrow?” he suggested.

She looked taken aback. “Why?”

“Well,” Hopper coughed, suddenly nervous. He didn’t want Joyce to think he thought she was somehow inadequate. “Maybe seeing me with Will…it’ll knock some sense into the kids.”

She raised her eyebrows. It wasn’t a bad plan and if they could help Will, they should try right? But then again, she didn’t want to take more than he was offering. Will was her responsibility.

“I can’t ask that of you Hop,” she said.

“You didn’t have to ask. Just one day Joyce.”

She thought carefully. “Okay,” she finally said. “But you’re just dropping him, right? You’re not gonna yell at anyone?”

“Probably not,” he said. Joyce opened her mouth to protest but Hopper spoke before she could. “I’ll take care of him Joyce.”

She looked at him like she didn’t believe him. “Okay but let me ask Will. I’ll call you when I get home.”

She walked around the counter and flipped the open sign to closed.

“Guess that’s my cue then,” Hopper put on his Stetson. “You’ll be okay getting home?”

Joyce gave him a small smile. “I’ll be fine.”

“Let me know what the kid says.”

“I will.” She opened the door for him. “Thank you. Really.”

He nodded and left. She locked up after him.

When she went home and told Will about Hopper’s suggestion, Will’s sullen expression brightened.

“You mean, he’ll let me ride in the police car? In the front?” he said, as if this were the coolest thing in the world.

“Yes baby. He’ll come here, pick you up and drop you off in the morning,” she answered.

“Can you ask if he can pick me up too?” Will pleaded.

Joyce looked at him uneasily. “We shouldn’t ask him for too much.”

“Please Mom? Just for tomorrow?”

Joyce smiled at his earnest expression and caressed his cheek. After all that he’d been through, how could she refuse him? “Okay. I’ll call and ask him but if he says no, that’s his choice.”

When she called him, Hopper said yes, not hesitating for even a second. When Joyce told Will, he immediately ran off to bed, excited for the first time since his return, to go back to school.

***

“You okay kid?” Hopper asked in his Blazer, glancing at Will beside him. Hopper had just picked him up from home and was driving him to school.

Will nodded. “Thanks Chief. This is really cool.”

Hopper’s heart swelled. “No problem. I’m happy to help.”

Will watched him carefully. “You care about us?”

“Uh, yeah kid, I do.” Hopper patted his shoulder, one hand gripping the steering wheel.

“And my Mom too?”

“Err yeah kid, I care about your Mom too.”

Will nodded. “Good,” he said, as if Hopper’s answer was a confirmation of something.

They were silent as Will explored the radio in the truck.

Hopper pulled up to the middle school and Will glanced nervously outside the truck’s window.

“Hey, do me a favour okay?” Hopper said.

“Sure,” Will responded.

“Tell me which one of those kids are bothering you.” He looked at the kids in the front yard suspiciously.

Will looked too and his eyes settled on a trio of boys by trash can. “Them,” he said and pointed.

Hopper noted this. “Anyone else?”

“The Zimmermans, but they’re not here yet,” he said, sounding relieved.

Hopper nodded. “Okay, go on in. I’ll see you after school. Same spot, okay?”

Will nodded. “Thanks Chief.”

They got out of the truck and Hopper leaned against his car door, taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

“Bye Chief,” Will said, and waved.

“See ya kid.”

Hopper watched as the kids stared at Will as he walked by. Some began pointing and laughing. Hopper frowned. He focused his gaze on the trio of boys Will had pointed to.

They had seen Will exit Hopper’s Blazer and gawped at Will as he walked by. They turned to Hopper and when they saw that the large man in the uniform was staring back at them, they turned, running away.

Hopper smirked. Sometimes it was nice to be the Chief of Police. He put out his cigarette and walked into the school. His tall, intimidating stature making the kids in the yard scatter out of his way out of instinct.

He walked into the main office and nodded at the secretary. “I need to talk to the principal.”

CHAPTER 28

Summary: Joyce and Hopper attend a PTA meeting. Joyce is bored and decides to have some fun with Hopper.

Song Inspiration: Something To Talk About – Bonnie Raitt

Joyce looked around nervously. She was late and all the seats in the auditorium were taken. She considered leaving. Having just finished a shift at Melvald’s, she wanted to go home, not attend a PTA meeting at the middle school. Being in a room with people who loved to gossip about her, and her family made her anxiety spike.

Joyce moved to the stand at the back of the room, hoping to be ignored when someone called out her name.

“Hopper?” she asked confused.

He walked up to her and nodded in greeting.

“What are you doing here?” she blurted.

He gave her a look. “I’m on duty Joyce,” he said, gesturing at his uniform. 

She smiled. “At a PTA meeting?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, come on, I live for this stuff,” he joked gruffly.

“Yeah, real exciting,” she said in a bored tone. Her eyes scanned the room and they landed on Scott Clarke, who waved at her.

She waved back and Hopper turned to look at Scott. “Who’s that?” he asked curtly.

This time, she gave him a look. “You don’t know Scott Clarke? He teaches science here. He’s Will’s teacher.”

“Oh,” Hopper said. He shrugged. “Forgot.”

She shook his head at him. She looked around the room again. “There’s no more seats,” she remarked.

“Come and stand with me at the back,” Hopper suggested casually.

She nodded. “Go on then.” She let him lead the way to a corner near the back of the room.

As she stood next to Hopper, she overheard Veronica May and Josephine Wilcox talking about her and Hopper.

“They’re together, you know,” Veronica whispered loudly.

Joyce rolled her eyes. It was sad that they didn’t have anything better to talk about than Joyce’s love life. They could not be more wrong; Hopper and Joyce were friends.

Hopper looked at her. “What’s wrong?” he asked, noticing the tension on her face.

She glanced at him and crossed her arms. “Nothing.”

Hopper then noticed that the couple sitting near them were staring at Hopper and Joyce. The man turned and whispered something to his wife, who looked over at them and laughed.

“Problem?” Hopper said loudly, drawing attention from others around them.

He felt Joyce nudge him.

He stared at the man, daring him to say anything. The man turned around quickly and slid down in his seat a little. Hopper smiled, proud of himself.

“Jeez,” she mumbled. He expected her to tell him off then, so he was surprised when she didn’t.

“You’re not being very sociable Hop,” she teased, mirth in her eyes.

He grinned, the anger he felt towards the couple disappearing. She returned his smile. She could feel some of her anxiety going away. Perhaps it was because she felt more at ease around him or maybe it was because she just didn’t give a shit anymore.

“I’m sociable,” Hopper defended. “I’m just very picky with whom I am is all.” He looked at her. “I talk to you,” he pointed out.

“Glad to know I made the cut,” she responded, sarcasm in her voice.

He looked at her fondly and she stared back at him.

“You know what they’re whispering about?” he asked.

“They probably think we’re a couple,” she watched, amused as Hopper looked taken aback. “At least that’s what Veronica and Josephine said.”

He was silent for a moment. “That’s…” he didn’t know what to say.

“I know,” she replied.

It was not like the thought had not crossed Hopper’s mind, but he knew that she was still healing from Bob’s death and he wanted to give her the time and space she needed to. 

Suddenly, the feedback from the microphone at the front of the room startled them. “Jesus,” Joyce yelled, covering her ears.

“Sorry! Sorry everyone!” Karen Wheeler apologized.

“Good evening!” Karen continued brightly. “Welcome to the annual PTA meeting. I’d like to thank everyone for being able to make it.”

Joyce clapped along with everyone else. Hopper leaned into her. “Karen is PTA president?” he asked, smiling mischievously.

Joyce chuckled. “Since Nancy was in middle school. I think everyone is too scared to vote for anyone else at this point.”

He laughed quietly.

They listened as Karen reviewed the agenda for the night and launched in to the first issue. Her tone was overly serious for the subject, which was if the toilet paper in the washrooms should be switched back to two-ply.

Karen’s debate was clearly boring other people in the audience too as Joyce noticed that the couple near them were taking turns looking at her and Hopper.

She sighed loudly and tried to ignore them.

“Jackass,” she heard Hopper mumble.

She looked up at him, surprised.

He caught her eye and rolled his. “That jerkoff is still staring at us,” he explained glaring at the man. Hopper’s lips became a thin line as he debated whether he should go over there and tell him off.

“Hey,” Joyce whispered.

Hopper turned his attention back to her.

“You want to have some fun?”

“What’d you have in mind?” he responded, looking at her carefully. He knew that look on her face, had seen it many times in high school when she was up to no good.

“Well, I just figured if they want us to be a couple that bad, maybe we should be one,” she suggested nonchalantly.

It was like someone had suddenly turned off the “on” switch in Hopper’s mind and he had trouble processing Joyce’s words just then. Was she asking him out? Now? In the middle of a PTA meeting?

“Uhhh,” he said, looking at her nervously.

“Like pretend to be one Hop,” she clarified. “Freak them out a little.”

He continued to stare at her.

She crossed her arms self-consciously. “Never mind,” she said quickly. “It was a stupid idea.”

“No, no!” he said a little too loudly. “Err, it’s good. Just, just tell me what to do.”

“Okay, put your arm around me Hop.”

He did as she told him, and she leaned into him. He could smell her shampoo and resisted the urge to hum happily.

“Okay now laugh.”

“What?” Hopper asked, confused.

“Laugh Hop, like I said something funny,” she whispered. “Quietly,” she added.

He did so, feeling silly, but also like he was a teenager again, pulling pranks.

“Now look into my eyes,” she instructed.

He did so and cupped the side of her face gently without her having to bid him to. Joyce found herself getting lost in his eyes, which seemed to be darker than the were a few moments ago.

“Are they looking?” Hopper asked.

“What?” she whispered, completely forgetting about why they were doing this in the first place.

“The couple,” he clarified.

She snuck a glance at them. The wife was practically swatting the husband’s arms in excitement.

She smiled. “They are.”

“Good,” he whispered, his voice becoming even lower.

Her heart started to race. She licked her lips and his eyes immediately went to them. They looked at each other a little while longer before Hopper took his hand away from her face.

She moved to rest her head against his chest, and they remained that way. Hopper’s comforting hand on her back, his thumb making gentle circles and Joyce’s arm across his waist, her eyes half closed as she listened to Karen moving on to the third and final item on the agenda.

Hopper smiled to himself. Though he knew what they were doing was just for fun, he couldn’t help but think how natural it felt to be with Joyce. How many times had he thought about what it would be like to hold her again?

Their hug at the Snowball had been quick and charged with grief. This moment felt different. Like it was the start of something new. He was filled with this nervous energy. It was anticipation and excitement. Could his relationship with Joyce finally become more than friendship again?

“Okay! And that concludes this year’s meeting,” Karen announced. “Thank you so much for your wonderful suggestions. There’s plenty of food, please help yourselves.” Karen gestured at the tables near the front. 

At the mere mention of it, Hopper’s stomach grumbled, and Joyce pulled away from him, laughing. He tried to hide his disappointment over the emptiness of his arms.

“Do you want to grab some food?” she asked.

He nodded. “Sure,” he said. “You coming?”

“In a second,” she responded, spotting Karen who was making a beeline for her. Hopper saw too and quickly walked away, wanting to dodge the woman.

“I’ll bring you a plate,” he called over his shoulder.

“Joyce!” Karen called out happily. She hugged Joyce.

“I’m so glad you made it,” Karen said.

Joyce smiled. “Of course. You did a great job up there,” she complimented Karen.

Karen giggled. “You think so?” she asked demurely, patting her hair.

“How’s Ted?” Joyce asked politely.

“Fine fine. He’s…” she looked around the room. Spotting him she pointed. “There he is. Ugh, what is he doing?” she mumbled.

Ted was currently wiping a stain on the back of his shirt. He looked odd because he kept twisting around to reach it but couldn’t.

Joyce’s lips twitched and Karen smiled wryly.

“I saw you with Hopper,” Karen said suddenly. “Congratulations. It’s about time I would say.”

Joyce stuttered. “You saw?”

Karen smiled knowingly. “I can see everything and everyone on that stage,” she explained. “When are you guys going to make it official?” she asked unknowingly.

“No um…we aren’t…we’re not.” Joyce took a breath. “It was just for fun; you know to make it look we’re dating. We’re not.” Now that she was explaining her plan, she realized how stupid she must sound.

“Oh,” Karen said, still confused. “I’m not sure I understand. But…you’re not dating Hopper?”

“No, no,” Joyce said quickly.

“Oh,” Karen said again. “That’s too bad. You should, I can tell he’s totally into you.”

Joyce bristled. “What? Hopper? No, he’s, we’re just friends.”

Karen stared at her. “Joyce, if Jim Hopper looked at me like that, I would not think we were just friends. Have you not noticed how jittery he gets around you? And those puppy dog eyes! Don’t get me started.”

Joyce opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Karen’s attention was now focused on someone else and she waved to them. “Sandra!” she called excitedly.

“I should go make the rounds Joyce. We’ll talk later okay. I think Nancy’s going out with Jonathan this Friday so if you want to grab dinner let me know,” she said warmly.

“Sounds good Karen. I’ll call you.”

Joyce watched as Karen bounded off into Sandra’s direction. She scratched at her neck absentmindedly.

What the hell? What did Karen mean that Hopper was into her? They were friends. He didn’t look at her in any way. Sure, sometimes he stared at her too long, but she figured it was just his cop demeanor. And he wasn’t jittery around her. He seemed completely calm tonight, as far as she could tell.

If anyone was jittery it was her. She was sure he heard her heart pounding as she leaned into him. She had wanted to let go but couldn’t, finding a comfort in his warmth and his touch.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she saw Hopper making his way back to her. He was holding two plates of food and smiling a big smile. She couldn’t help but grin at the sight of him. 

CHAPTER 29

Summary: It’s the night before Hopper ships off to Vietnam. Joyce and Hopper stay up all night and admit their feelings to one another.

Song Inspiration: How Would You Feel (Paean) – Ed Sheeran

Joyce shoved a person out of her way angrily. She looked around the room in search of who she had come to see.

“Patty!” she yelled, trying to be heard over the loud music. She grabbed the girl’s arm. “Have you seen Benny?”

Patty shook her head. “No! Sorry!” she yelled back.

She continued to search the house, dodging people left and right. She kicked a plastic cup out of her way. As she searched further, she started to cry, worried that she might have missed them.

Finally, she found them in the backyard, sitting on the grass smoking cigarettes. She wiped the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her dress.

“Jesus, there you are!” she cried angrily.

Both boys looked up from their conversation. Seeing her frantic state, Hopper stood up. “Joyce,” he said, astonished.

“God Hop! You’re an asshole!” she started to pound on his chest angrily.

“Ow, hey! Stop Joyce,” he said, taking her arms. “Joyce,” he said again. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” she yelled, pulling out of his grasp.

“I have to find out from Chrissy Carpenter of all people! Why didn’t you tell me?” she cried, completely distraught.

“And you!” She pointed angrily at Benny who at that moment stood up too.

“Uh I should go,” Benny said quickly and left.

Joyce turned her attention back to Hopper. “How could you not tell me?” she said, her tone heartbreaking.

Hopper looked at her and swallowed a lump. “I couldn’t Joy. I couldn’t say goodbye to you too,” he answered honestly.

She closed her eyes as if she were in pain. When she opened them, a new look appeared across her features, one of determination and strength.

“It’s not goodbye. Okay Hop,” she said a little desperately. She put her hands on his chest and he took a step forward to close the gap between them.

“You’re gonna, you’re gonna come back. You’re gonna be safe. I promise,” she said firmly.

He looked at her sadly. “You can’t promise that.”

She shook her head. “I know it. I feel it in my bones.”

Hopper didn’t believe her. He had heard stories about the war. Even when people did manage to survive, they came back changed, almost haunted. He knew that whatever he was walking into, it would change him forever.

He looked at Joyce and his heart ached at the sight of her confidence. Remembering where they were, he cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject.

“How did you know about the party?” he asked, gesturing to Benny’s house. Benny was throwing Hopper a going away party.

Joyce moved her hands from his chest. “Chrissy of course.” She paused. “So, you guys broke up?” she asked tentatively.

She hadn’t spoken to Hopper for weeks now, ever since he started dating Chrissy. Though she was sure they were still friends on some level, she wasn’t sure if they could ever go back to being best friends like they had once been before their breakup.

Hopper cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yeah, I could tell she didn’t want to do the long-distance thing. I broke it off, figured I’d give her an easy way out. Guess she wasn’t the one for me.” He shrugged.

Joyce gave him a half-smile. “Sorry.”

Hopper chuckled. “No, you’re not. You hate her,” he said knowingly.

“I do not!” she protested. “I just don’t like her…a lot.”

They laughed. Hopper’s expression suddenly turned solemn. “Where’s Lonnie?” he asked, his voice laced with a venom she couldn’t put a name to.

“With his friends. Drinking and gambling. I left them to it.”

Hopper only nodded. He could feel his blood boiling just thinking about Lonnie. He couldn’t understand what Joyce saw in the guy. To Hopper, he was as charming as spoiled milk. He suddenly realized what she said.

“I like the thought of you leaving Lonnie for me,” Hopper said cheekily.

She tried to look annoyed with him, but he detected amusement in her eyes. “Oh, shut up Hop.”

“So, what are you going to do? With your last night of freedom?” she asked.

He put out the cigarette that was burning his fingers. “Hang out, I guess. Drink. Try to forget about how my life is going to change 24 hours from now.” He looked at her. “You gotta get home?”

She smiled at him and tipped her head to the side. “No.”

He looked at her with confusion. He glanced at his watch. “It’s nearly two in the morning, won’t your Mom freak?”

“Won’t yours?” she challenged.

He gave her a look. “So…you’re staying?”

“As long as you want me to,” she answered.

He smiled. “Can I take you someplace?”

She nodded, grinning.

Hopper laced his fingers through Joyce’s and led her back into the house. The party was still in full swing and Joyce grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniel’s while walking past the booze table.

But the sad truth was that no one was at the party for him. He was only one of 20 boys who had been drafted at this point. They were all likely there for the free booze and to trash Benny’s house.

Joyce followed Hopper as he led her upstairs and then up another flight of stairs, which led to the attic.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Trust me,” he replied softly.

When they reached the attic, Hopper opened the window in there and waved her over. “Out we go,” he said, climbing through the window.

“Are you crazy?” she asked incredulously. 

“Come on Joy. Just trust me,” he said from outside. He held his hand out through the window.

She sighed. Maneuvering her way through the window, she was glad she had worn flats. She managed not to drop the bottle while making it outside.

Benny’s roof was surprisingly flat. She walked across it with Hopper and sat down when he did.

“Come here often?” she asked.

Hopper smiled. “Whenever I come over to Benny’s. Since we were kids.”

“That’s sweet,” she murmured.

“You gonna hog that thing?” he asked, pointing to the bottle in her lap and she handed it over to him wordlessly.

They took turns drinking out of the bottle and playing a lousy game of truth or dare. Whenever someone chose dare, seeing as they were both on a rooftop and neither wanted to move, they would have to drink.

“Okay truth,” Hopper decided, after picking dare for the last five rounds.

“Mmmm,” she thought. The question escaped from her lips before she could help it. “Are you scared?”

Hopper looked away briefly. “Yeah,” he confessed.

They were sitting crossed legged, facing one another. She put her hands on his knees. “I wish I could go with you,” she said softly.

Hopper smiled. “Maybe you can,” he joked half-heartedly. “You’re small enough to fit into my suitcase.”

“Ha-ha,” she said dryly and plucked the cigarette he was holding from his fingers. “I’m going to miss that sense of humor the most,” she said, meaning it.

She inhaled the cigarette then coughed. “Christ,” she softly swore.

He laughed.

“You know I wasn’t sure if I was coming,” she said quietly.

He nodded. “I wanted to ask you to, but I wasn’t sure…” he trailed off. “What made you decide to come?”

She shrugged. “I couldn’t let you leave without saying…”

“I thought you were mad at me. We haven’t talked in weeks.”

She sighed. “I wasn’t mad at you,” she mumbled. “I was mad that…I heard Chrissy in the bathroom. She was bragging about sleeping with you.”

“Oh,” Hopper said, eyeing her cautiously. He looked down awkwardly and began to play with the bottle in his hands.

“Yeah…” she replied, mortified. She bit her thumbnail. “Is she…the first? I mean since…”

Hopper nodded, understanding her question. “Yeah. Just her…after you.”

Joyce smiled bitterly. “Did you say goodbye to her?” she asked, unable to keep the jealousy from her voice.

Hopper shook his head. “Not really my priority,” he said. “I would rather spend time with someone else tonight,” he added, and smiled goofily.

She grinned and nudged his leg with her knuckle. “You’re such a dork,” she said lovingly.

“So, you’re not mad anymore?” he asked after a moment.

“A little,” she answered honestly. “But I would never let you go without saying goodbye.”

He smiled shyly.

“Okay, your turn, truth or dare?” Hopper asked.

“Truth,” she answered.

His question was immediate. “Will you miss me?”

She looked away, tears springing to her eyes. “What kind of a question is that?” she muttered.

He waited for her response.

“Hop, of course I will. You’re my best friend,” she answered.

He nodded. “Always.”

She looked at him, tears still in her eyes. “Hop? We’ll be okay,” she stated, firmly.

“We will Joyce,” he confirmed, trying to sound sure.

She stared at him and leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Her hands moved across his chest and entwined themselves into his hair. He wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer.

When they finally broke apart, she rested her head on his shoulder. He spoke into hair. “What was that for?” he asked.

“Just because,” she whispered.

He smiled down at her. “Joyce, I –”

He wanted to tell her he loved her but was afraid of what her reaction might be.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” he said instead, hoping that she already knew how much he cared for her.

She did. She smiled into his neck. They held onto each other a little while longer before she pulled away to put out the cigarette she was still holding. She shivered once.

He frowned. “Are you cold?”

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her herself.

He took off his leather jacket and held it out. “Come here,” he instructed.

She arranged herself so she was leaning against him, her back to his front. He draped the jacket carefully over her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. He held her tightly. 

They spent the rest of the night talking and Hopper was reminded of how much he had missed Joyce. Though they had only spent weeks without talking, it had felt like years to him. He struggled with the knowledge that he would likely not see Joyce again for a long time after tonight.

He couldn’t help but think about how his life would be if he wasn’t drafted. Would he have broken up with Chrissy? Would he and Joyce get together again?

They were silent as they watched the sun come up, the orange-pink sky replacing the dark blue one. The quietness of the early morning calming them both.

He looked down at her, thinking she had fallen asleep. He found her staring at him.

“What?” he asked, self-consciously.

She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

“Hop, I –” She was interrupted by Benny who had come to look for them.

“Hey!” Benny shouted through the open window.

Hopper and Joyce looked up.

“There you guys are! I thought you left,” Benny said, shaking his head. “We gotta go,” he called.

“Now?” Joyce asked Hopper anxiously.

His arms automatically held her tighter and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m going home first to grab my stuff and say bye to Mom,” he explained.

“I’ll meet you downstairs Ben,” Hopper called.

Benny nodded and left.

“We’ll drop you off at home first,” he said to Joyce.

Joyce nodded. They gathered their stuff and stood up in silence. Hopper reached out to hold Joyce steady when her knees wobbled, but not because they had been sitting for so long. Their approaching goodbye was making her knees weak and her stomach churn.

They walked through the house to Benny’s Cadillac. Benny was already waiting in the driver’s seat with the passenger door open.

Joyce climbed into the backseat and was surprised when Hopper climbed in beside her. She has expected him to sit in the front.

He gripped her hands in his and turned to Benny. “We’re dropping Joyce first.”

Benny nodded. “Sure,” he replied softly.

The drive was silent as three people became lost in their thoughts. Had it not been for Hopper’s fingers stroking hers, the sadness, terror, and anger Joyce felt would have consumed her.

Benny glanced at the pair though his mirror and felt a combination of anger and disbelief at the unfairness of it all. He was not oblivious to the love between the two and the loss of innocence they all experienced as a result of having to be faced with losing a friend and growing up too fast.

Hopper’s eyes were closed, his lips pressed into a firm line. He had been angry when he found out. Angry when he walked into the party last night. Angry when he realized he would have to say goodbye to Joyce.

Joyce. He looked down at her hands. She had taken away some of the anger through the comfort she provided him on his last night. Through her calm reassurance, she instilled some of her strength into him. A strength that to this day he was always surprised to find. Though he didn’t know why. She was one of the strongest people he had ever known.

He kissed the back of her hand without looking at her and heard her sniff back her tears.

When they pulled up to Joyce’s house, Benny parked in her front yard. She and Hopper got out.

She took his face in her small hands. “James Hopper. You’re going to come back to me,” she whispered.

He gently rested his forehead on hers. “One day we’ll finally be together again. There’ll be no war and nothing to keep us apart. We’ll grow old together.”

She was crying now, and she laughed through her tears. “Hopper?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” she confessed, smiling. “I always have.”

Hopper smiled and kissed her again; his arms tight around her waist. She deepened their kiss, her hands still on his face.

When they broke apart, he noted the despair in her eyes. She held his hands, her grip tight on his hand, as if she would never let go.

But she did and she watched while wiping her eyes, as he climbed into the front seat next to Benny. She couldn’t help it and held onto the side of the door.

“Joyce I have to – ” his voice broke and she could see that he was also crying.

She let go of the door reluctantly and stepped back. She took a deep breath.

“Goodbye Hop,” she whispered.

Hopper couldn’t say anything. He felt as if he has swallowed a rock, so he merely nodded and looked down. Benny started the car and he suddenly turned to her.

“I love you,” he said thickly.

She smiled at him and her smile was the last memory he would have of her until years later when they would meet again as two broken people.

After that meeting, Hopper would recall this moment and his heart would ache for the two teenagers who loved each other since they were children and who vowed that they always would.

CHAPTER 30

Summary: Hopper never “dies”. He and Joyce are dating and Hopper recreates their first date for their one-year anniversary.

Song Inspiration: Best Part of Me (feat. YEBBA) – Ed Sheeran

Hopper glanced at the clock on the wall. “Joyce!” he bellowed. “We’re going to be late.”

“I’m coming!” she yelled from upstairs.

He ran a hand through his thinning hair and sighed. He wanted tonight to be absolutely perfect and losing their dinner reservation was the complete opposite of that. He would be damned if he ended up taking Joyce to McDonald’s for their one-year anniversary.

From the living room he saw El smirk at him, and nudge Will.

“Don’t be nervous Dad,” she said, with a mischievous smile.

“Yeah it’ll be fine,” Will chimed in.

“Oh God,” he mumbled, running a hand over his stubble.

Suddenly the door opened, and Jonathan walked in with Nancy, Steve, Robyn, Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Erica, and Max.

“Hey Hopper,” Jonathan greeted. “I thought you guys would have left by now,” he said, glancing around for his mother.

“Yeah me too kid,” he grumbled.

“Wanna play on the Atari with us?” Will asked.

Hopper chuckled. “Another time.”

He watched as they all gathered in the living room, already fighting over what pizza toppings to order.

“Joyce!” Hopper yelled again.

At that, she came tumbling down the stairs. Hopper tried not to stare as she walked up to him, her navy-blue dress swishing side to side as she moved. Her bangs had grown out and her hair looked like it did when she first had Jonathan, parted down the middle, wavy, and cut short at her shoulders.

A chorus of “oohs” sounded from the living room when the kids got a glimpse of Joyce.

Hopper’s eyes landed on her cleavage and his mouth went dry. “You look beautiful,” he nearly whispered.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely.

Hopper glanced at the kids. “Hey what about me?” he joked. “How do I look?” he asked, smoothing down his tie.

He was met with silence. Hopper could practically hear the sound of crickets chirping.

Finally, El piped up. “Bitchin’”, she said seriously, earning a laugh from everyone.

“You look very handsome,” Joyce added, touching his grey blazer. “We match,” she remarked, sneaking her hand under his jacket to touch his blue shirt.

“Thanks,” he said bashfully. He kissed her softly and she hummed happily.

Cheers erupted from the living room, followed by a “Shut-up you losers!” from Steve.

Joyce laughed. “Let’s go,” she said to Hopper. “Bye kids! Stay out of trouble!” she yelled over her shoulder.

“Have fun Mom,” Will called.

Hopper held the door open for her and they stepped through.

“God help us,” Joyce said softly, referring to the number of kids and teenagers who currently occupied their house.

“Ahh they’re good kids,” Hopper reasoned, uncharacteristically lenient.

Last week Dustin and Lucas had broken the handle off the fridge door, and an exhausted Hopper came home from work to find Will, El, Mike, and the pair trying to superglue it back. He had stood there and blinked in disbelief.

“So, where are we going?” she asked him as she slid into his car.

“Ah-ah. It’s a surprise remember?” he replied jovially.

She couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. She dug through her purse and lit a cigarette as Hopper started the engine and pulled out onto the road.

After inhaling, she passed the cigarette to Hopper’s awaiting fingers.

At his recent physical, his doctor had told him to stop smoking. Joyce had been with him and encouraged him to quit.

“I’ll quit too,” she promised.

A week later he caught her having a cigarette in the bathroom with her head sticking out of the window. Instead of scolding her, he had merely joined her. 

He wasn’t sure if he was just addicted to the nicotine or if it was more than that. He loved sharing cigarettes with Joyce. It was their thing, had always been since high school.

Hopper drove quickly, concerned about the reservation and parked in front of the restaurant. Joyce looked at him in surprise.

“Enzo’s?” she asked, a smile forming on her lips. 

After wracking his brains for weeks on what to do for his anniversary, El had gently made the suggestion to him. She explained that he could recreate his first date with Joyce and Hopper found a sort of simple intimacy in the idea. He ruffled El’s hair fondly and tried not to cringe when she confessed that the idea was actually Mike’s. That Mike had done this for his and El’s one-year anniversary.

He chuckled at the thought of him taking the lead from a teenager dating his daughter. He suddenly questioned if he made the right decision. “Is this alright?” he asked nervously.

“Of course, Hop,” Joyce said, placing a hand on his forearm. “I’m happy wherever you take me, as long as I’m with you.”

He flushed, shaking his head. Only Joyce could make him blush.

He got out of the car and walked around to Joyce’s side. He held the door open for her and bowed his head. “My lady,” he joked.

Joyce grinned. “Such a gentleman,” she remarked fondly.

They walked into the restaurant and Hopper stopped at the usher’s desk.

“Reservation for Hopper,” he said.

The usher consulted the list in front of him and nodded. “Your table is ready Sir.”

He escorted them to a table near the back and they sat down.

Being the tall and broad man he was, Hopper had to sit sideways in the chair, as his legs could not fit comfortably underneath the little table. Joyce found herself staring at how muscular his thighs looked when he sat down.

Hopper caught her staring. When she met his eyes again, he winked. She turned away, embarrassed at getting caught.

“Your waiter will be by shortly,” he said, presenting them with menus.

As they were deciding on what to order, their waiter appeared.

“Good evening Madam, Sir, have we dined at Enzo’s before?” he asked, a serious look on his face.

Joyce wanted to laugh at his overly formal tone. She caught Hopper’s eye and he smothered a grin.

“Yes, we have,” she replied, keeping her tone neutral.

“Well, welcome back,” the waiter replied. “I’ll be your waiter tonight. My name is Vinni. May I start you off with some drinks?”

“We’ll have the –” Hopper hesitated. “Chianti,” he pronounced without error.

“Excellent Sir. I’ll return in a moment,” Vinni replied.

They had barely waited until Vinni left their table before bursting out in laughter. 

“Oh my God,” she said, still laughing. She felt like she was seventeen again.

Hopper simply threw his hand up in response, still laughing as well.

Hopper cleared his throat loudly as Vinni came back with their bottle and a basket of breadsticks. Their laughter subsided but Joyce noticed a playful look in his blue eyes.

“Are we ready to order?” Vinni asked.

“Yeah,” Hopper answered. “Can I get the Niçoise salad?” he said, butchering the name. He had pronounced it “Nick-wa”.

Joyce bit her lip to stop herself from laughing out loud.

To his credit, Vinni didn’t laugh and maintained a neutral expression.

“Excellent choice Sir,” Vinni turned to Joyce. “And for you Madam?”

“I’ll have the shrimp linguini please,” she ordered.

“Very good.” Vinni gathered the menus from them. “Your food will be here momentarily.”

“Niçoise salad?” Joyce asked Hopper with a smile.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “I’m watching my weight. Read an article in one of El’s girly magazines about healthy eating.”

“ _Good Housekeeping_ is not a girly magazine Hop,” she scolded lightly. “Plenty of men cook and stay home,” she added. 

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he replied.

She smiled and shook her head at him. She placed her hand over his, gently tracing the scar between his thumb and index finger. The one he got fighting the Russian at the military base.

“This is nice Hop. Thank you for bringing me here,” she said, keeping her eyes on his hand.

“You’re welcome,” he replied softly. “I want tonight to be perfect,” he added.

She looked up at him. “That’s very sweet Hop. It will be,” she assured. “No matter what.”

They began talking about the kids and whether or not they should plan a family vacation for the summer.

“The boys want to go to that amusement park,” Joyce remarked.

“Dunno if I want a repeat of El at the fair,” Hopper said, wincing.

He was referring to the time went they all attended the fair and El ended up throwing up after eating too much cotton candy.

Hopper thought for a moment. “What if we go to New York?” he suggested.

Joyce looked taken aback. “Are you sure?” she asked carefully.

Hopper had not been back to New York since Sara’s death. For him, New York was associated with bad memories. So, the fact that he was now suggesting to go was genuinely surprising.

Hopper nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I think I’m ready. Besides, you, El, and the boys have never been. We could do all the touristy things. Go to Times Square, Empire State building. Jonathan would like The Met. Plus, you have a free tour guide,” he pitched, smirking.

Joyce smiled, already in love with the idea. “That sounds nice.”

Hopper smiled back. “We can ask the kids when we get home,” he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.

Their first family vacation. Hopper was elated at the thought. He didn’t blame Joyce for being surprised about the idea. He was a little surprised to. He never thought he would go back to New York and here he was suggesting the idea.

He attributed his change of mind and heart to his family. Their time together, their love, and their support had broken through his walls and he could feel himself healing day by day.

The pain from Sara’s death was still there, as he expected it would always be. But it was more bearable now, especially with Joyce by his side.

Their food arrived and Vinni set each of their plates down. “Is there anything I can get for you or your wife?” he asked, addressing Hopper.

Hopper glanced at Joyce who looked at him with amusement.

“May I have some ice please?” Joyce asked.

“Ice Madam?” Vinni asked, looking confused.

Hopper smirked.

“Yes,” Joyce answered seriously. “Cubes if you have it?”

Vinni nodded. “Certainly Madam,” he said before leaving to get some.

“Could you please pass the pepper husband?” Joyce asked, the corner of her lips turning up.

Hopper gave her a look and did as she asked. He watched her silently.

“Is that what you want?” Hopper asked her quietly.

“What? Pepper?” she asked.

“No. Marriage,” Hopper clarified.

They had never discussed it. They had been dating for a year, but it seemed like they already were, just not officially.

Joyce had asked Hopper and El to move in with her after the cabin was destroyed, and seeing as the Byers’ household was too small, Joyce and Hopper bought a new house together.

They had settled into an easy domestic routine. Finally, becoming a family.

“I don’t know,” she said, taking a bite of her pasta and chewing thoughtfully.

“Uhh, we never talked about it,” Hopper said, picking at his salad.

“You’re right,” she confirmed.

He looked at her in waiting.

“I think.” She paused. “I think I’m sort of over the marriage thing. This, what we have, is enough for me,” she said softly.

He smiled. “I feel the same way,” he said truthfully.

He too had done the whole marriage thing and decided that a piece of paper didn’t dictate if it would work out or not. It wasn’t important to him. A piece of paper wouldn’t add anything to his relationship with Joyce. But, if Joyce had wanted to, he would have said yes in a heartbeat.

She nodded. “Sometimes I feel like I’m married to you already Hop,” she teased. “Like when I have to remind you everyday to put your towel back on the bathroom hook instead of leaving it on the floor of our bedroom.”

Hopper rolled his eyes. He mumbled something. “Not everyday,” it sounded like. 

Vinni came back with a glass of ice and set it down next to Joyce.

She thanked him and waited until he left before popping two ice cubes into her wine glass.

“Joy, for the last time, you’re not supposed to put ice in your wine,” Hopper said, staring at her as she added another cube.

“What? That’s how I drink it. You wanna try?” she asked in earnest.

He grimaced. “No thanks.”

“Oh, shut up Hop. You have weird eating habits too.” Her eyes widened as she thought of one. “Like dipping your fries in ice cream,” she said triumphantly.

“Only the soft serve,” he defended. “I like sweet and savoury Joyce.”

She made a face.

He chuckled. “Guess we’re both weirdos who break the rules, huh?”

She laughed. “I guess we are,” she confirmed. “We make a good team.”

He smiled goofily.

They finished their meal and talked more about the kids. Joyce, recalling El’s growing fascination with rock n’ roll music.

“She’s her Daddy’s daughter,” Joyce remarked, making Hopper grin.

After paying for their meal, they walked back to the car. Hopper’s arms around Joyce’s shoulders as she rubbed her hands over her arms to warm them up.

“Did I tell you how much I like your dress?” Hopper asked, whispering into her ear.

She smiled and blushed. “Really?” she asked, unsure.

“You look gorgeous,” he said firmly. “I wish you would think so yourself.”

He opened the car door for her and shut it after she climbed in. He walked around and got in himself. He turned on the heat to warm up the car.

Joyce put her hands up to the vent and he watched as the moonlight illuminated her face. His heart swelled at the sight of her.

“I love you,” he said.

She looked up and smiled. “I love you too.”

He leaned over and kissed her, nipping gently at her lower lip. 

“You know,” he said, after breaking their kiss. “As much as I love the dress, I’d like it better off of you. It’s a distraction from…” his hand grazed the inside of her thigh. “What’s underneath.”

He continued kissing her neck, trailing soft kisses along her jawline. “Hop?” she breathed.

“Hmmm?” he mumbled.

“Don’t get your hopes up. Those kids probably tore up the house by now,” she said, biting her lip and running her fingers through his hair.

He pulled away and groaned. “You’re probably right.”

She reached over and cupped his cheek. “You know the kids will be out tomorrow evening,” she said suggestively.

He kissed her lips in response. “I can’t wait,” he said lowly.

She rubbed her thumb gently across his cheek. “Thank you for coming back to me,” she said, her voice breaking.

He put his hand over hers. “Thank you saving me,” he said.

They kissed again.

“Take me back to the kids Hop. I miss them,” she said softly.

Hopper smiled. “Me too.”

He put the car into drive and pulled on to the road.

As he drove, he thought about how lucky he was to have Joyce and his kids, where he was loved and safe, where he would hopefully never again be alone. In them, he had finally found a home, and for that he would forever be grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I love them so much. Comments are always welcome. 
> 
> I do not own Stranger Things, the characters, some of the plots, and these songs. No copyright infringement intended. David Harbour, you are loved.


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